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Make his own "mistakes" that will probably get him, you, and your husband dragged into court, after he causes an accident!
Yup. He's had 19 years to make his own mistakes and learn from them. How well has that worked?
P.S. How did your son get to school and work before he got the car? Why can't he get to school and work the same way now? It sounds from your post like your son is creating a hazard for other drivers. He's not driving legally at night. He also has no respect for the car, throwing a phone at the windshield. Driving with a cracked windshield is a hazard to his own safety. Until he's willing to drive lawfully, and do what needs to be done with the car to achieve that, the car should be taken away from him. Traffic cops have the right to deny him the right to drive, btw, until he gets the lights repaired. They rarely exercise that right, but it's there.
If you butt out of your sons business and let your husband run the show, you might end up with a son with a modicum of common sense and responsibility. As it is now, your poor husband is probably scared to death as he can see the writing on the wall.
Your son has no real job, using a borrowed car, lives with you, and had a "planned" child on the way? Seems pretty irresponsible to me. Kudos to hubby for trying to teach you son some responsibility, someone needs to.
Your husband is right!! If your son doesn't want to spend "his own money", then he shouldn't drive it and he should take public transportation. I don't understand how YOU feel differently to be honest. Also mandate that your son fix the windshield ASAP!!! You know the one HE broke horsing around.
For those who have asked my husband and I have been together some 12 or 13 years and married for the past 5. I moved in with him and his daughter shortly after we lost our place then we all moved into a larger rental home. It's hard to let my husband take the lead and make the decisions when it's been primarily me since my divorce.
My husband said that when he was living at home with his parents he had his own car in his own name, was making all the payments and had his own insurance. He did something his parent's told him not to do and they took his car for a week and made him ride his bike to and from work until they felt like giving him his car back. That's what he's basing everything on. We don't live in those times anymore. My kids father is a deadbeat and I don't want that for them but my husband can be hard on them. He said he's trying to teach them responsibility but I feel as if he's picking on them. My oldest is 20 and already a convicted felon even though my husband tried to tell him to straighten up. He doesn't live with us anymore because my husband said that there can't be two men in the house trying to run things. His exact words were, "one of us will be leaving soon and I can promise you it won't be me!" That's why I say he's too hard on them.
For those who have asked my husband and I have been together some 12 or 13 years and married for the past 5. I moved in with him and his daughter shortly after we lost our place then we all moved into a larger rental home. It's hard to let my husband take the lead and make the decisions when it's been primarily me since my divorce.
My husband said that when he was living at home with his parents he had his own car in his own name, was making all the payments and had his own insurance. He did something his parent's told him not to do and they took his car for a week and made him ride his bike to and from work until they felt like giving him his car back. That's what he's basing everything on. We don't live in those times anymore. My kids father is a deadbeat and I don't want that for them but my husband can be hard on them. He said he's trying to teach them responsibility but I feel as if he's picking on them. My oldest is 20 and already a convicted felon even though my husband tried to tell him to straighten up. He doesn't live with us anymore because my husband said that there can't be two men in the house trying to run things. His exact words were, "one of us will be leaving soon and I can promise you it won't be me!" That's why I say he's too hard on them.
It is not being too hard on someone living in your house to expect them to be responsible. If I loaned a car to someone and they didn't maintain that car I would be furious.
And we DO live in those times. I took my oldest sons car from him when he got bad grades, I take my youngest sons game system when he misbehaves. It is called punishment, and it teaches children lessons about being responsible.
Thanks for your contribution to society, Snowed08! I'm sure we'll all welcome with open arms yet another non-functional, non-contributing, utterly dependent, self-entitled young adult to the mix who will drain the rest of us! Keep up the good work!
My husband said that when he was living at home with his parents he had his own car in his own name, was making all the payments and had his own insurance. He did something his parent's told him not to do and they took his car for a week and made him ride his bike to and from work until they felt like giving him his car back. That's what he's basing everything on. We don't live in those times anymore. My kids father is a deadbeat and I don't want that for them but my husband can be hard on them. He said he's trying to teach them responsibility but I feel as if he's picking on them. My oldest is 20 and already a convicted felon even though my husband tried to tell him to straighten up. He doesn't live with us anymore because my husband said that there can't be two men in the house trying to run things. His exact words were, "one of us will be leaving soon and I can promise you it won't be me!" That's why I say he's too hard on them.
This is the man you married, that's it. He isn't gonna change most likely, and I can say as I don't know for sure, but him "picking" on your son just might a man trying to get another man he cares about to pick himself up and handle his business.
Women and men see this sort of thing differently in a lot of cases. I think the husband should give your son some times lines about moving out, he needs to get a job and start to handle his business.
It's time to stop wet nursing your son as he needs to start to deal with life a little more responsibly. He's got a baby on the way!!!!
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