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The misogyny behind this and half the other comments on this thread is breathtaking.
Elton John was 63 when he welcomed his first child - which was publicly received with near-universal praise and joy. I don't recall anyone calling him "too old" or "selfish" to become a first-time father at such an advanced age.
Janet Jackson is 49, folks. Hardly doddering. And she has the money, support and (hopefully) wisdom to make this work.
Diane Keaton adopted 2 kids in her 50's (way before it became a thing) and she has long stated that doing so gave her renewed purpose and meaning (along with great joy) at an age when many women (including her own mother, about whom she wrote very movingly) start losing it.
Good grief, we get into such tizzies when women challenge the status quo on anything - whether it's equal pay, sexuality, or the age we decide to start a family.
Keaton, Madonna, Mirren. Judith Light. Jackson too, really - are trailblazers who are destroying the perception that women must bust out the stretchy pants and cut their hair and abandon all hope of a sexual life when they hit 50.
The idea will trickle down to mere mortals eventually - sooner (hopefully) or later.
Don't have time to wade through several pages of posts but from what one has seen thus far no one has mentioned where a good number of older women (those over 35 for pregnancy purposes) are getting babies, surrogacy.
While Halle Berry, Kim Fields and others have been fortunate to have children in their forties, many women of a certain age are skipping IVF and so forth going straight to surrogacy. The fact that industry has become so huge and largely accepted plays a role as well.
As for Elton John think we can give him along with the other older gay males who had children late in life. Back when Mr. John was a young may being homosexual surely would have meant losing his children in the case of divorce (if married to a female), and adoption was not an option either.
Problem for many women of a certain demographic (educated, career minded, well off economically, etc... ) is they were sold a bill of goods regarding birth control.
Many girls almost routinely go on BC either before graduating high school or by their freshman year of college. They thus delay marriage and or having children until they have graduated college and established a career. This can mean going from say 17 to nearly 35 or even > forty before they are "ready" to have kids. All the while they were told BC is safe and when they decide to stop and want children there shouldn't be any problems. That isn't always true..
Truth is despite all the advancements of modern medicine female fertility rates in the western world are pretty much where they have been for ages. That is after her early to middle thirties the average woman's ability to conceive naturally begins to decline. Yet for various reasons mentioned above and or others many women still put off having children....
When they come off BC to the surprise of themselves (and their GYNs) a good number of these middle aged women do not conceive naturally (there is a reason why so many GYN offices have boxes of Kleenex by the case load..). Equally upsetting is the suggestion and often fact for any chance of having a baby they will have to go with fertility treatments.
Don't know about anywhere else but here in NYC area you see plenty of middle aged women (thirties through forties) pushing prams with twins or triplets. This is usually (but not always) an indication of fertility treatments. You see this with surrogacy as well which explains why so many gay males have twins/multiple birth.
Am almost sure Janet Jackson (if the OP story is true) at her age is going straight to surrogacy. While the idea is tempting she is just too old and the odds to long that she would conceive, carry and deliver a healthy infant.
More and more fetuses with down syndrome are being aborted nowadays, few are actually born. That might skew that statistic.
Prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome: a systematic review of termination rates (1995-2011).
"RESULTS: Twenty-four studies were accepted. The weighted mean termination rate was 67% (range: 61%-93%) among seven population-based studies, 85% (range: 60%-90%) among nine hospital-based studies, and 50% (range: 0%-100%) among eight anomaly-based studies. Evidence suggests that termination rates have decreased in recent years. Termination rates also varied with maternal age, gestational age, and maternal race/ethnicity."
After 20 childless years together, my husband and I were pleasantly surprised to have a change of life baby in our 40s. We are thrilled to have our beautiful daughter and she is the light of our lives, but life is really really hard. We are both so unbelievably tired ALL THE TIME. I mean...just beyond-belief, deep in our bones, a$$-dragging exhausted. Some days, I literally feel like I am going to just drop dead from sheer exhaustion.
And I feel sorry for my daughter - she will not have any siblings, her cousins are late teens/early twenties, her grandparents are in their 70s and 80s (she just turned 3) and she will most likely see them pass away during her childhood and/or teenage years, and her parents will be in their 60s when she's in high school. I get very sad when I see moms in their 20's and 30's playing with their young children b/c I ALREADY have difficulty keeping up with her at the playground. I worry about her being a young women in her 20s and 30s dealing with her own aging parents and being a burden to her.
Janet Jackson has plenty of money and I'm sure will have lots of hired help, but its not the same. I adore my daughter and I want to spend as much time with her as possible. I don't want her to be raised by other people, instilling their ideas and their morals and values in her. And when she falls down or cries, its "mommy" she wants to comfort her.
Bottom line, just because it CAN be done doesn't mean it SHOULD be done. I think a lot of these older women underestimate the amount of work involved in caring for a young child and overestimate the physical and mental capabilities of a 50 year old.
I'm 57 and my 15 month old grandson lives with us. I'm tired after 15 minutes with him.
I would imagine conversations like this thread were had back in the 60s-70s, judging women in their late 30s-40s to dare to have a kid. No wonder the articles title has "the NEW 40s". Like a glimpse into the abyss of righteous judgement from otherwise intelligent people, discussing what a person should/should not do.
We're discussing opinions. So what if we're judgemental? The point of the forum is to invite people to discuss opinions. Opinions are like belly buttons, everybody on the planet has one. We aren't sitting here plotting to pass laws to ban people from having kids at any particular age. To each his own.
The misogyny behind this and half the other comments on this thread is breathtaking.
Elton John was 63 when he welcomed his first child - which was publicly received with near-universal praise and joy. I don't recall anyone calling him "too old" or "selfish" to become a first-time father at such an advanced age.
Janet Jackson is 49, folks. Hardly doddering. And she has the money, support and (hopefully) wisdom to make this work.
Diane Keaton adopted 2 kids in her 50's (way before it became a thing) and she has long stated that doing so gave her renewed purpose and meaning (along with great joy) at an age when many women (including her own mother, about whom she wrote very movingly) start losing it.
Good grief, we get into such tizzies when women challenge the status quo on anything - whether it's equal pay, sexuality, or the age we decide to start a family.
Keaton, Madonna, Mirren. Judith Light. Jackson too, really - are trailblazers who are destroying the perception that women must bust out the stretchy pants and cut their hair and abandon all hope of a sexual life when they hit 50.
The idea will trickle down to mere mortals eventually - sooner (hopefully) or later.
50 year olds aren't getting pregnant through sex. They're hiring egg donors and visting IVF clinics.
Oh hell no. I was 27 when I had my first and 32 when I had my third (and last). There was a WHOLE LOT of difference in my energy level between 27 and 32. I'm in my 50s now and there is no way I would want to be raising a child. I mean, if circumstances meant I had to raise a grandchild or something, of course I would do it. But I would not have one on my own on purpose at this age!
And what about the kid? If Janet Jackson has a baby at 50, there's a chance she and the baby's father won't be around when that child graduates from high school. Not fair to the child.
50 year olds aren't getting pregnant through sex. They're hiring egg donors and visting IVF clinics.
It's very possible for 50 year olds to get pregnant through sex. They used to call it a "change of life baby."
That doesn't mean you should be trying to get pregnant at 50. Just because you are healthy and active at 50 doesn't mean you will be at 65 when the child is 15 years old. I just don't think it's fair to the child to have them so late in life. For one, you might not be around to see them graduate from high school. For another, their whole school life their friends are going to think their mom is their grandma. Think they won't get ridiculed at school for that?
I don't think its the norm, but I see a trend to older parents. I've met a lot of dads with young kids my age. In many cases, unlike me, its not the first kid though.... its the last
I'm 50, in pretty decent shape, my wife is 43, and we have 6 year old. Its my second marriage, and we got married later, so its just how it worked out.
When I walk in the school with other dads, I don't feel old at all. I could probably run rings around a lot of them. Sure, when he is a senior, I will be in my 60s, but there are a few things I can control so I at least don't act like the old guy in the room.
He's an only child. the only thing I think about is him being alone when we are gone, but we will do the best we can till then.
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bit of an overreaction.
I'm 57 and my 15 month old grandson lives with us. I'm tired after 15 minutes with him.
