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I was wondering. I'm finding that, as a parent, my marriage with my spouse is suffering a bit. It's hard with the amount of time that kids take up, etc.
Common?
I'm sure it is for many. It never made my marriage harder; if anything it made a sinking ship stay afloat longer, (though that certainly was not the reason I had him). Kids change your lives, usually for the better. But it absolutely means a shift in priorities and time. How are you old enough to have a kid and not know this first?
Yep. My exhusband couldn't hack it. He really resented not being the center of attention. Put his own needs ahead of the kids many many times. If I could do it over again, I would endeavor to make him feel more included, but I'm not sure anything I could have done would have fixed it. To this day he still puts his own needs first.
Really think it depends on parents. If you think dealing with children is work, probably gonna stress you. Try as you can to find some kid activities you enjoy as kids get older, until they are hard to like teens. May not stress you as badly.
Yes, absolutely. Your time is not your own and won't be for years. You never stop worrying about your kids even if they are far away.
BUT!!! If you have a good marriage to begin with, you will have many wonderful times together as a family. The good times far outweigh the difficult times.
Yes, absolutely. Your time is not your own and won't be for years. You never stop worrying about your kids even if they are far away.
BUT!!! If you have a good marriage to begin with, you will have many wonderful times together as a family. The good times far outweigh the difficult times.
I'm sure it is for many. It never made my marriage harder; if anything it made a sinking ship stay afloat longer, (though that certainly was not the reason I had him). Kids change your lives, usually for the better. But it absolutely means a shift in priorities and time. How are you old enough to have a kid and not know this first?
Reading between the lines, it doesn't sound like you are in the best position to know. You say it wasn't the case in your case, but... being co-parents isn't exactly the same thing as what everyone else is talking about.
Yep. My exhusband couldn't hack it. He really resented not being the center of attention. Put his own needs ahead of the kids many many times. If I could do it over again, I would endeavor to make him feel more included, but I'm not sure anything I could have done would have fixed it. To this day he still puts his own needs first.
Same here. My ex-husband can really only take care of himself, and he always needed to come first. I love being a parent, but I really wish my partner had been strong enough to be a parent, a husband, and an individual all at the same time.
Children are especially hard on marriages when both parents work, if only one parent does all the s--twork...I'm not just talking about housecleaning, laundry, cooking, but also if only one parent is the one who does all the pickup/drop-off at daycare or school, stays home with the sick kid, takes them to Dr., dentist, etc., assists with bathing, homework, etc. That gets old real fast.
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