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Assuming the OP lives in America, unpaid FMLA is only 12 weeks. That's 3 months. If the mother gets paid disability, that's only 6 weeks. Where do you suppose those 6 week old babies go when mom goes back to work?
I was thinking the same thing.
Just an interesting aside. When my DS & DIL were brand new parents & looking for infant care in their large city they discovered that the waiting lists, at the very best places, were two years long. My son laughingly told me "How can they have a two year waiting list for new born care? Not only did we not have an infant two years ago, we were not even pregnant, or married or engaged or living in this city!" (disclaimer, however, they were long time BF & GF)
Just an interesting aside. When my DS & DIL were brand new parents & looking for infant care in their large city they discovered that the waiting lists, at the very best places, were two years long. My son laughingly told me "How can they have a two year waiting list for new born care? Not only did we not have an infant two years ago, we were not even pregnant, or married or engaged or living in this city!" (disclaimer, however, they were long time BF & GF)
This is the case in most cities in most states. The best places always have waiting lists though how true are those lists? The place my kids went to PreK supposedly had such a list for infants. One of the kids in my daughter's class was going to become a big brother. His brother magically got a spot a few months later. I guess it all depends on who you know in some cases and some places.
This is the case in most cities in most states. The best places always have waiting lists though how true are those lists? The place my kids went to PreK supposedly had such a list for infants. One of the kids in my daughter's class was going to become a big brother. His brother magically got a spot a few months later. I guess it all depends on who you know in some cases and some places.
In most centers, siblings are given priority. It's a pretty common policy.
I did a quick search of laws in the OP's area & it seems as though licensed providers are expected to close (temporary) after the death of of a minor until they investigation by CPS (not just police) clears them of negligence.
Unlicensed providers would be shut down immediately. CPS has a time frame of one week in which to investigate, meaning that if the provider stayed open for this week; the OP could expect a call at work to leave & pick up the child at any random moment.
Also; the provider is required to inform all parents of the occurence & status of investigation, while keeping specific medical information private, of course.
From what I can tell from post history, OP, your child is about 7 months old? I really am not the one to scan everyone's posting history (I've been called out before & it's annoying) but this topic is one that has been a big part of my life since 1986 when my first son was born.
I was just a teenager & I was determined to get a college education, which I did but fast forward 31 years & I still have kids at home. With the youngest being 13 now, I should finally be putting all the child care woes behind me.
But he is disabled & will likely never be able to be without supervision. One day I hope to go back to work but I will always be juggling the caregiving.
Over the years I have had to utilize just about everything: Relative care, Private-home licensed, facility-licensed, Nannys, the odd friend here & there to fill in for an emergency ... you name it; I've done it.
I've hired everything from college students to grandmothers. When I left employment to care for my youngest disabled child I was paying a little over $2,000 per MONTH for childcare.
I've come to realize that to any working parent, the viability of the entire family hinges on having good, safe childcare. You can juggle your phone bill, utility bill, car repairs, etc ... but if you don't have reliable childcare; it all falls apart.
There are reasons why even excellent, licensed chilcare providers who are expected to be cleared of any negligence still close during the course of an investigation & it's not all about suspicion...
SIDS deaths, in particular, can cause PTSD symptoms in all caregivers; not just parents & family. Part of CPS's investigation is to make sure that the provider is capable of resuming childcare duties safely or receive the appropriate referrals for mental health care.
The person who just starts off on Monday morning as if nothing happened is a red flag to trained social workers & should be to you too.
Ask around at work. Maybe someone there knows someone who can temporarily babysit for you while you look into more permanent options.
^^^^Yes. The OP should ask around. Know anyone who is a stay at home parent that might be willing to help out in a pinch? Of course, don't expect that person to work for free.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb
Check on care.com or sittercity.com. You have no idea what really happened and your willing to risk your 4 month old on it? No thanks. I wouldn't take my child back on the fact that she lied. If she lied about that what else is she lying about?
^^^^Good suggestions! My daughter and son-in-law have used care.com a few times when their work schedules overlapped. They found one sitter that they liked and would call her in a pinch.
OP --- If it were me, my gut would just about be screaming at me to not take my child back there. Take the time to find a better place for your child. You will never regret it.
OP, whatever happened, you got multiple stories from the caregiver. So you know at the very least, she's comfortable lying to you when she believes it's in her own self-interest.
I very much hope you have reconsidered leaving your child there ever again. A child dying of SIDS is a tragedy and not necessarily her fault but if you can't trust her to be honest, how can you believe anything she tells you? Your child isn't old enough to tell you if something is wrong, you have to be the one to protect him.
When my son was 3 I went to pick both my kids up at a licensed home child care. He was sitting on the couch with blood all over his head and a different shirt on. The day care provider said he had just hit his head. I immediately took him to the emergency room, and she followed me. MY two kids were the last two kids there. The emergency room dr said that the accident had happened round noon, not 6pm. He questioned me about why I did not bring in my son immediately. I told him that I had just picked him up from daycare and did not know that he was hurt until I hard gotten there. The dr. called the police and had a hospital guard sit with the daycare provider, who babbled on about how he was racing a six year old child and fell into the corner of wall. That type of fall would have hit his forehead, but he was hit in the back of his head.
Putting the pieces together, there was no other child if it just happened. All the other kids left at 5, mine at 6. The dr said it happened at noon...SIX hours earlier. The dr said he could tell by the blood clotting. My son got dozens of stitches closing a Hugh cut in the back of his head. He still has a six inch scar.
The police said that it was impossible to prove anything with two three years olds as witnesses, but my daughter said to the police when they asked her that the child care provider got mad because during the after lunch nap time my son wanted to get into the after nap snacks. She said that the provider knocked him off the stool in the kitchen into the corner of the wall and his head put blood all over the floor. And that made her even more mad. Both my kids said that the provider made my son sit in the bath tub until all the other kids left---5 HOURS! Then apparently she cleaned my son up and sat him on the couch and waited for me to come get him.
I did go to her house to 'get his clothes' that he had worn that day, but the provider insisted that she did not change his clothes, but she definitely did as my kids wore matching clothes that day and my daughter was not matching my son on pickup. And I saw the corner that had a wet, torn drywall area, so I know what the kids said was true.
The police said that they would turn the report over to licensing, and licensing came out, never talked to my kids as they were gone from there, and did make her paint the peeling paint in the patio and remove some broken toys and expired food.
I do understand that three years olds are not great witnesses, but with the dr too, I thought that they should have done something. They only increases the frequency of their licensing visits to once a year instead of every other year.
MY son could have died, or been permanently disabled, because of one child care provider.
After that both kids went to centers--the Lutheran daycare/preschool was very affordable and great. For the immediate change it cost me mega bucks, but the kids could start immediately and it was worth it for them to be safe, or at least with several adults around.
OP, do not take the chance, find a neighbor, relative, someone you know to watch your child until you can find a different place. Your child's safety is worth more than your cell phone and internet. Change your budget, make sacrifices, but do not put your kid at risk, AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PROVIDER IS A LIER!
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