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1. Provider says she is sick and won't be open the next day
2. Provider then says she is ok but won't be open
3. Provider says "child had an accident but is ok"
4. Provider says she was "cleared" but then concedes an investigator has to come out the next week. She may not have been arrested but she wasn't cleared while the investigation is ongoing.
5. Questionable communication about the child being ok really meant the family was ok. (what family? If the child's family, i'm pretty sure they are not "ok" right now. Did the provider mean her own family was ok? Who knows?)
that is far too much "miscommunication" for someone i could trust my baby with.
The next time you witness a SIDS death in an infant you are responsible for, keep that in mind. Keep your cool, don't have an anxiety attack and don't give out any erroneous information.
Good Grief! Cut this provider a little slack for having been involved in an extremely traumatic incident. Having been involved, fortunately just tangentially, in some infant deaths, let me say there is always a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding at first. The cop the mom spoke to is trained in how to answer some of these questions; s/he called it a "medical incident".
1. The day care mom saying she was "sick" that night is perhaps true. One doesn't have to be physically sick to be sick.
2. And yes, many times someone's response to "are you OK" is yes, even when they aren't, usually meaning for myself anyway, that I'm handling it.
3. May or may not have actually been said.
4. You are inferring something about the investigation (bold) that may not be true, especially considering what coschristi posted (below).
5. Maybe the provider just didn't want to discuss it with the OP just then.
Keep in mind medical information should be kept confidential.
op:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013
i came to pick up my baby boy after work and cops had surrounded the residential house where the day care is. There was a yellow tape blocking people from coming up the driveway. I had to give my name and my son's name for the cops to bring my son out of the house. He was fine. The cops could only say that one of the children had a medical incident and went to the hospital. I am assuming day care lady took the child but i don't know. i called the day care lady later tonight and she said she was sick and would not be open tomorrow and would give me an update over the weekend. I said are you ok? Because i thought only the child was the one sick. She said she is ok and can't do daycare tomorrow. She seemed really down.
i'm thinking what happened that there were 8 cops by her house and she can't be open? Are they going to shut her down? Do we need a new daycare?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013
day care lady called back. She said last night she was at the police station, was interrogated and cleared. A 5 month old had an accident but is ok. She is closed for the next week because she has a home inspector coming mid next week. Then she would be officially cleared. She said this is the first time in 20 years this has happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013
ok i talked to daycare provider. looks i misunderstood her the first time or she just didn't want to say . what i thought was the child being ok was her saying the family was ok. the 4 month old child died of sids in her care which explains the yellow tape and her interrogation and being cleared of police. Now it makes more sense. apparently the police are now more open in discussing so i will call them next.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobseeker2013
police won't say anything other than no negligence found. they didn't fill me in if it's ongoing or not. We don't know any of the parents. We don't know what to do because a lot of the day cares have waiting lists or charge a fortune so a rich guys kid can learn mandarin and the wife can attend her charity functions . So it's going to take time to find a daycare. I wish it were as simple as finding a new daycare right away. We might have to deal with the current daycare provider in the short term.
And we have this helpful post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
i did a quick search of laws in the op's area & it seems as though licensed providers are expected to close (temporary) after the death of of a minor until they investigation by cps (not just police) clears them of negligence.
unlicensed providers would be shut down immediately. Cps has a time frame of one week in which to investigate, meaning that if the provider stayed open for this week; the op could expect a call at work to leave & pick up the child at any random moment.
Also; the provider is required to inform all parents of the occurence & status of investigation, while keeping specific medical information private, of course.
from what i can tell from post history, op, your child is about 7 months old? I really am not the one to scan everyone's posting history (i've been called out before & it's annoying) but this topic is one that has been a big part of my life since 1986 when my first son was born.
I was just a teenager & i was determined to get a college education, which i did but fast forward 31 years & i still have kids at home. With the youngest being 13 now, i should finally be putting all the child care woes behind me.
But he is disabled & will likely never be able to be without supervision. One day i hope to go back to work but i will always be juggling the caregiving.
Over the years i have had to utilize just about everything: Relative care, private-home licensed, facility-licensed, nannys, the odd friend here & there to fill in for an emergency ... You name it; i've done it.
I've hired everything from college students to grandmothers. When i left employment to care for my youngest disabled child i was paying a little over $2,000 per month for childcare.
I've come to realize that to any working parent, the viability of the entire family hinges on having good, safe childcare. You can juggle your phone bill, utility bill, car repairs, etc ... But if you don't have reliable childcare; it all falls apart.
there are reasons why even excellent, licensed chilcare providers who are expected to be cleared of any negligence still close during the course of an investigation & it's not all about suspicion...
Sids deaths, in particular, can cause ptsd symptoms in all caregivers; not just parents & family. Part of cps's investigation is to make sure that the provider is capable of resuming childcare duties safely or receive the appropriate referrals for mental health care.
The person who just starts off on monday morning as if nothing happened is a red flag to trained social workers & should be to you too.
good luck op, i hope this week goes well for you.
I'm not necessarily defending this woman, I'm just saying, people are way too quick to rush to judgement on her and this situation, which of course we don't have all the fact of in any event.
Last edited by Katarina Witt; 02-03-2017 at 12:06 PM..
The next time you witness a SIDS death in an infant you are responsible for, keep that in mind. Keep your cool, don't have an anxiety attack and don't give out any erroneous information.
Good Grief! Cut this provider a little slack for having been involved in an extremely traumatic incident. Having been involved, fortunately just tangentially, in some infant deaths, let me say there is always a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding at first. The cop the mom spoke to is trained in how to answer some of these questions; s/he called it a "medical incident".
1. The day care mom saying she was "sick" that night is perhaps true. One doesn't have to be physically sick to be sick.
2. And yes, many times someone's response to "are you OK" is yes, even when they aren't, usually meaning for myself anyway, that I'm handling it.
3. May or may not have actually been said.
4. You are inferring something about the investigation (bold) that may not be true, especially considering what coschristi posted (below).
5. Maybe the provider just didn't want to discuss it with the OP just then.
Keep in mind medical information should
I'm not necessarily defending this woman, I'm just saying, people are way too quick to rush to judgement on her and this situation, which of course we don't have all the fact of in any event.
I agree with the broad point you're making about not vilifying the provider.
But, if I were the OP, I would be more concerned about finding a new daycare for my baby than in whether the old provider lied to me about another child's death. I would absolutely be looking a new daycare until I found one, or I'd be crunching and re-crunching the numbers to figure out if one parent could stay home with the baby.
I agree with the broad point you're making about not vilifying the provider.
But, if I were the OP, I would be more concerned about finding a new daycare for my baby than in whether the old provider lied to me about another child's death. I would absolutely be looking a new daycare until I found one, or I'd be crunching and re-crunching the numbers to figure out if one parent could stay home with the baby.
Because a baby died of SIDS under the provider's care? That's not the provider's fault, assuming she gets cleared of any wrong-doing. It's tragic, that's for sure. It happens.
Because a baby died of SIDS under the provider's care? That's not the provider's fault, assuming she gets cleared of any wrong-doing. It's tragic, that's for sure. It happens.
I know. But as a parent, in the back of my mind I would always wonder if it was something that could have been prevented.
Ultimately, the provider's guilt or innocence wouldn't really be my problem, but I would choose to just take my child somewhere else.
Bingo. And I am a preschool teacher, so pretty darn familiar with how all of this works. We've had kids have seizures, have allergic reactions, etc. and had to call 911 before. Never, ever have police been involved. Paramedics come, take care of the child, end of story. We have never not been able to stay open. The only way the police are involved is if whatever "illness" or injury is suspicious.
My youngest was a 24 week micro-preemie, and she spent 3 months in the NICU. She came home on oxygen, and she had been home about 4 days when she had an episode where she stopped breathing for a brief moment. (This was 11 years ago) We called 911, and they sent out the calvary. PD was the first to arrive, followed by an a fire truck, an ambulance and at least 3 other PD officers. Our street was lit up like a Christmas tree. We never found out if this was normal for them to send out 4 police cars, but we did find out that the first officer was the closest when the call came in, so that was why he was there.
That said, this instance does not sound like "standard protocol" to me.
My youngest was a 24 week micro-preemie, and she spent 3 months in the NICU. She came home on oxygen, and she had been home about 4 days when she had an episode where she stopped breathing for a brief moment. (This was 11 years ago) We called 911, and they sent out the calvary. PD was the first to arrive, followed by an a fire truck, an ambulance and at least 3 other PD officers. Our street was lit up like a Christmas tree. We never found out if this was normal for them to send out 4 police cars, but we did find out that the first officer was the closest when the call came in, so that was why he was there.
That said, this instance does not sound like "standard protocol" to me.
Oh? Here's what another poster found about the laws in the OP's area:
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
I did a quick search of laws in the OP's area & it seems as though licensed providers are expected to close (temporary) after the death of of a minor until they investigation by CPS (not just police) clears them of negligence.
Unlicensed providers would be shut down immediately. CPS has a time frame of one week in which to investigate, meaning that if the provider stayed open for this week; the OP could expect a call at work to leave & pick up the child at any random moment.
Also; the provider is required to inform all parents of the occurence & status of investigation, while keeping specific medical information private, of course.
<snipped personal information>
There are reasons why even excellent, licensed chilcare providers who are expected to be cleared of any negligence still close during the course of an investigation & it's not all about suspicion...
SIDS deaths, in particular, can cause PTSD symptoms in all caregivers; not just parents & family. Part of CPS's investigation is to make sure that the provider is capable of resuming childcare duties safely or receive the appropriate referrals for mental health care.
The person who just starts off on Monday morning as if nothing happened is a red flag to trained social workers & should be to you too.
Why would you put your child in day care anyway? None are safe
Hyperbole. Many are quite safe.
I worked in a NAEYC accredited daycare at a YMCA. It was a very good place and quite safe.
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