Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hopefully doesn't apply to you (in the good way, as in money is no object for you), but if it is, think about retirement here too. You'll be knee deep in tuition as your heads start hearing the word "retirement" bouncing around between your ears. Outside of that suggestion, I really can't offer any advice, as the decision you two are making is about as personal as it gets.
Only you two can decide if this would enhance your life or not.
I would have enjoyed a baby in my 40s, and my husband would have too. He and I both felt bereft when the days of coaching Little League and booster club was over.
Maybe you would be happier being child free earlier and concentrating on traveling and hobbies?
The thing that would give me pause is the fear of birth defects. If you had a few healthy kids already, why take the chance?
I had my son at 42. There are things about being an older parent that are tougher but also things that are easier - for instance, I'm at a point in my career where I've earned the ability to have a lot of flexibility. That is not only logistically easier, it allows me to be more present for him in a way that I couldn't have been when I was younger and still had to prove myself at work.
Bottom line, if you and your wife both want to parent another child, being in your 40s is not too late.
It could be her mourning that part of her life. It can be tough for some women to realize that they are a certain age and will probably never have another baby. I would even call it a type of a midlife crisis in a sense but very normal
Not saying you shouldn't have one. In the not-so-distant past women had babies right up to the point they couldn't have them anymore, which would be mid-forties or so. But the feeling might pass for her, be patient.
Oh hell no! We have an 18year old and 14 (almost 15) yo. That would be a race to the bottom as to who would leave the other with the new baby first- and I mean in a different home seeking weekends only. We aren't delusional about how trifling and over it we are.
I love being a parent and wish I had done so many things differently and better. But, I don't have the energy or interest required to properly raise another child. Oh hell no.
Me and my wife are in our 40s, we have two kids already, but my wife wants to have another baby.
Are those kids just about/or already out of the house? Perhaps empty nest syndrome?
Few things to consider:
- good health and stamina for the next 18 years or so
- starting the whole crying/feeding/changing stuff again
- other kids would think you two are grandparents because of the age
- generation isolation -dealing with other parents that are much younger, dealing with own kids and understanding their problems (and trying NOT to be an arthritic, pill-popping old git who maunders on about how things were in your day)
- challenge for the kids having parents that old - you will become elderly while your children are still young, possible even burden to them
- draining your financial resources you saved for retirement
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
