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Why are you changing the narrative to generic "teenager" when we're discussing a 14 year old?
Why are you changing my argument to requiring "a bed"??? I never even inferred that.
I SAID I knew where my kid was at all times, he was NEVER in a place that was unsupervised except school if you want to say that... and if you want to call going to school "dating" then that's Reductio ad absurdum.
I also said I KNEW my kid. 100%.
Easy for ME to say. Not so easy for all the people who outsource their children to other people to raise.
Wow. The amount of self-righteousness and head-burying in one post is pretty impressive. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
And since when is a 14 year old not a teenager? Hint, it's right in the name.
What you are describing sounds more like courting then dating. I personally don't think a 16-18 year old is ready to settle down and get married. At 18 it wouldn't be up to you to allow anything, at 18 they are free to make their own decisions right or wrong. I agree that 14 is on the young side but since that door is already opened its best to be honest and open, so the daughter will talk to mom about things. Keep the lines of communication open.
Well, I'd also add that even though they're legally allowed to get married, some people still aren't ready to be married at 18, and as a parent, if you have concerns, definitely bring that up.
Why would a 14 year old have to be thinking about marriage? Dating in high school can be an innocent exploring of budding interest in the opposite sex. It's not a business transaction.
^^ This
If nothing else, it teaches you how to deal with the opposite sex in a dating situation. If they don't learn now, they'll go there in college, or after graduation. And getting pregnant/someone pregnant may be better there, but still not ideal.
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It's been both amusing and scary how many men I talk to who 'joke' (sort of, but not really? It's hard to tell with some of them...) how they're going to buy a gun when their daughters start dating. One of them even wears a T-shirt to that effect.
You can't watch them 24 hours a day, so it's best to have a realistic talk with your daughter about sex and birth control. If if were my daughter, I'd ask if she wanted to start birth control, not because I was encouraging her to have sex (I wouldn't be encouraging her at all) but because I want her to be protected.
Exactly.. Too many control freak parents on here act like they are going to stop the inevitable.
I think open and honest communication are key as well as asking her about birth control. I am a huge fan of being honest with children especially once they hit that age. Does she have heavy periods or irregular ones? If so mention birh control can help. I took it for 6 years before deciding to be active but my parents made it available to me at 13. I had the same on and off boyfriend from 5th grade through college when we eventually ended it so their approach was better safe than sorry. And you know what? We never even took it to that point because it wasn't some taboo thing that was forbidden.
So that's how I plan to treat my son when he is that age unless his personality dictates otherwise. I do believe you have to approach these issues on a case by case basis - what works for one child may not work for another. But definitely offer and have protection on hand that's there just in case. I would even go so far as to provide condoms honestly. And tell her to use condoms and the pill, not one or the other. She's going to do what she's going to do so her safety and future would be my biggest concerns.
Why are you changing the narrative to generic "teenager" when we're discussing a 14 year old? I even made it clear I was talking about a 14 year old.
Why are you changing my argument to requiring "a bed"??? I never even inferred that.
I SAID I knew where my kid was at all times, he was NEVER in a place that was unsupervised (and mostly by ME - including hockey practice)...except school if you want to say that... and if you want to call going to school "dating" then that's Reductio ad absurdum.
I also said I KNEW my kid. 100%.
Easy for ME to say. Not so easy for all the people who outsource their children to other people to raise.
I am confused. What is the difference between a 14 year old and a teenager?
Quite honestly I find the bolded self-righteous just like vegabern. You are not a perfect parent. No one is. I don't helicopter over my kids. I trust them and their judgement to make smart choices. I know where they are, and they are not always supervised. It's part of the fun of growing up. They go to the park and create a hammock party with their friends, and ::gasp:: no adults.
My 14 year old daughter informed last week she has a boyfriend, and he kissed her. I have 2 older sons, one of whom did not date until he was a junior in high school and my other son has not dated yet. So this is treading new water for me.
She had him over for just a few hours today, during the day. What kind of rules would be reasonable here? Allowed to be alone?
Any advice here? I'm truly on new territory here, and my own upbringing is not one to follow.
Usually IMO school dates/love last longer than most. Nice she told you.
Not sure if this has been covered already, but no, they are not really the same thing anymore. The term "courting" has really been hijacked by a fanatical and ideological religious group(s) and entails a very structured and regimented approach meant to lead to near-future marriage.
Why are you changing the narrative to generic "teenager" when we're discussing a 14 year old? I even made it clear I was talking about a 14 year old.
Why are you changing my argument to requiring "a bed"??? I never even inferred that.
I SAID I knew where my kid was at all times, he was NEVER in a place that was unsupervised (and mostly by ME - including hockey practice)...except school if you want to say that... and if you want to call going to school "dating" then that's Reductio ad absurdum.
I also said I KNEW my kid. 100%.
Easy for ME to say. Not so easy for all the people who outsource their children to other people to raise.
So naive, but whatever allows you to sleep at night.
NO, there was no "saying" one thing and doing another. There was no hanging out after school because he was in sports every day of the week.
Cheesh.
All it takes is PARENTING at age 14.
And you better KNOW your kid. MINE wasn't the LEAST bit interested in girls at age 14. And even for their proms not a single one of his crowd had girlfriends and their "dates" were just girls they were friends with in the same boat.
You may disagree with my OPINION about dating at age 14 but why would you chose to lecture ME about MY parenting experience and suggest I was just a goof who didn't know what was actually going on.
Unless that's YOUR experience.
I don't see how you could possibly know for sure what your son or daughter was interested in at age 14. When I was 14, there were quite a few things I kept private, and of course there still are now that I am 30. I don't think my parents ever really knew the full facts of my sexual desires or absence thereof at any stage in my life.
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