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They were not telling the entire truth. After speaking to my husband things make more sense. He still wants us to just monitor things closely but let it come to an end by itself. I'm still not sure but in the meantime I'll be getting help for my son, getting him more involved and meeting others and will be there to end things if anything happens.
I bet some of these teens and preteens wish that their parents had done more than monitor them.
Well OP, I think the general consensus is that this relationship is inappropriate.
As *a parent, I'd<bleep> of that Church and find a new one to get away from that kid's completely oblivious and permissive parents. It's like he was raped & they just want to let him do whatever? Am I understanding this correctly? Where is their protection for their son....he is only 12?
Last edited by Miss Blue; 09-06-2017 at 06:16 AM..
Reason: language
If kissing, hand holding, and cuddling were the only sexual activities before 18, would that be OK?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSleepyKitten
My biggest problem is that my husband has such different ideas on how we handle this. He thinks we should let it end on its own and just have a firm set of rules. We are still negotiating what those rules should be and have spoken to the other boys parents who think the kissing and hand holding is fine. They also think cuddling is fine.
U.S. Census Bureau asks 15 year olds if they are or were married. Can someone explain why they ask this if it is below the age of consent?
Depends upon the state. Some states allow younger teens to marry, with parental approval, court approval, or both. The usual reason for such exceptions is that the girl is already pregnant, or the couple has a child together.
I think a lot depends on the kids involved. The big problem with this particular 12-year-old is that he doesn't seem to have been raised to have any sense of his own personal boundaries, based on his prior experiences. I spent the summer after I turned 13 hanging out with the boy next door, who was 16, or with my best friend, her boyfriend, and his older brother. We went to the movies a time or two, went horseback riding together, things like that. I had a terrific crush on the older brother, and when I was 14, I went on my first solo car date with him. He was 19. We went to a movie, and when he pulled over on a side street as he was driving me home, I told him to forget about it and take me to my house at once. My parents were not what I would call permissive, by any stretch (I had a definite curfew, no boys in my room even with the door open, no boys in the house at all unless parents were home), but they knew me, knew that sex was NOT on my agenda, and knew that I was outspoken enough to resist being pressured into anything I didn't want to do. They allowed me to date at a fairly young age, obviously, but I didn't do anything more than kiss a boy until I was 18.
If kissing, hand holding, and cuddling were the only sexual activities before 18, would that be OK?
The physical contact really isn't even the most worrisome part of this "relationship."
The kid is manipulating her son. He has serious emotional and psychological problems, and he is using their interaction to undermine and supplant the parents. The 12-year-old isn't even aware that he is doing all of that, but he is certainly aware of enough.
He is behaving on instinct and on learned behavior from previous sexual abuse. They have to be separated immediately. That can be done subtly, but it has to be done.
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