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I’m also kinda curious as to where these six year olds are hearing this.
E
I for one didn’t know what "bunny ears" were.
I asked him where his classmate heard it and he did not know. I think that it would be responsible of me to speak with his mother just to let her know, in because i do not think she would say that and would want to know who told her son (who allegedly told my boy).
To me, if they did not just tell him not to say it again, Then they should have taken the Kid that did the rabbit ears out into the hall and tell HIM not to do it again and to apologise.
I mostly agree. I say that because
None of the kids know what they're doing in this scenario. I don't think anyone should be sorry for anything.
At the most, the teacher could say "we keep our hands to ourselves and they go up if you have a question, other than that they stay down." Additionally, "We do not discuss off topic material."
Going further the first kid (supposedly my sons friend) that said this to my son of what the bunny ears "meant," might need to reveal through kind questioning who told him this because that person may not be good to be around.
CD posters are not six year olds in school (though some have the mentality of six year olds, but I digress...). Generally, kids should be expected to try to use language even if they are unsure of the meaning of a word. This applies to the native language as well as to a foreign language. They should also volunteer answers even if they are not 100 percent correct. If a child says “my mom cooked lettuce with our corned beef,” would the teacher pull the child out of class and then March him back in and make him apologize? No, she would not. She’d say, “I think you mean cabbage. Cabbage and lettuce look the same but they’re two different vegetables.”
To a small child, the word “sex” is as innocuous as the word “lettuce.” She could have said, “no, it means bunny ears, like Timmy is making Jamie look like a little bunny.” That would have nipped the interest in the word “sex” in the bud.
Excellent!
Last edited by Aboom; 04-12-2018 at 10:51 PM..
Reason: Extra word was deleted because it made no sense
Wait. This issue is unique because the OP is unique.This means something entirely different to him than it would to me. Or a single mom. Or a married dad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aboom
My son said that he learned from a fellow classmate earlier this year that the bunny ears meant "sex" when held behind someone's head . He admittedly did not know anything else associated with the word, thats why he spoke freely about it when saw the gesture.
Meaning; every little boy in that class already knows what it means. And they all have since earlier this year. His son was just the first one to be overheard saying it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aboom
This already concerns me: "the teachers' desire to turn the entire school system into their personal fiefdom."
As a single, custodial dad, i already have endured being spoken to as if i dont know what im doing (i most certainly do). When this occurs, i smile and go along in agreement not being defensive but raising my inner eyebrow.
Its a line i walk on so as to not make myself more of a target. This "sex" comment, got me concerned but i think its much ado about nothing at this point. We just dont want any more attention like this. Lol
Schools can be nosy. You think they believe your son learned that from you & brought it to the school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aboom
He was made out to appear as though he did something wrong when he was merely reporting what he was told.
If anyone has thoughts about if he was a she and possible outcomes, i would be interested to hear your thoughts. That just came to mind so i dont know offhand if i think things would have been handled differently...
I’ll bet there would have been a different outcome if you would have been a she.
When they had your son apologize; it made him “own” it. He was an innocent bystander until the apology. Now he’s the perpetrator. They didn’t bother to follow the trail to the source because it was too easy for them to blame him. Meaning YOU.
As if just because you are a single guy you are raising your son in some frat-house party environment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aboom
I appreciate what youve said regarding allies instead of prosecutors. I wish it was that easy but i raised a daughter alone already and that was hell and a whole other story where i was thrown under the bus undeservingly. Yes, i still carry those wounds and am sensitive towards any potential maltreatment.
My son’s dad raised 2 boys on his own before I met him. He said he had a very hard time with the Elementary school. One time he brought homemade cupcakes to the class for a son’s birthday & he said the teacher kind of wrinkled her nose at his tray & asked “Did you actually MAKE those?” When she took a bite of one, she said “Oh wow! Those are really good! Did Grandma make them?”
Everyone complains about teachers and school counselors. Every little thing. I can imagine it gets old.
And you should certainly pull _those_ people up on it. I am not doing that however. What I am doing is pointing out that _this_ counsellor got one of the absolute basics wrong.
Jumping on them for every little thing is a bad approach. But you expect the 101 textbook stuff to be there - especially in a situation where there was no immediate or huge pressure on.
I share your concerns and sympathies for the quantity of complaints these people get - most of it unfounded and unwarranted. But there has to be a line somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
We "make" kids share long before they want to just because kids are innately selfish and not empathetic...but we teach them. The same as for apologizing. Just like adults "fake it before they make it". Sometimes the behavior has to be mimicked to learn it and make it part of your "natural" repertoire.
Exactly. We teach them. And we do not teach them by demanding they say sorry. And any counsellor past the 101 training will know that. The _correct_ approach is to sit a child down - explain the issue and the problem and what they did wrong and why. You then ask a child "So now that you have learned all that - what would you like to say now?" and if you did the job well the kid _on their own initiative_ will then say "Sorry".
Marching a kid out of a class room - hearing a description of what they did - and then simply marching them back in under the demand they say "sorry" however is both poor form by the counsellor - and a missed opportunity to do exactly what you say here. To teach them.
I fear too many people see such situations as something to be dealt with - rather than as an opportunity.
The kid is forced to apologize for something that never really meant anything in his head.
I'd have to suggest the teachers have less life experience than he has.
Congrats.
You've just traumatized him.
My son said "that means sex" when he saw a boy do the "rabbit ears" behind a girls head in class. The teacher overheard and called the counselor. After speaking with him in the hallway he was told to go back in and apologize, which he did.
My son said that he learned from a fellow classmate earlier this year that the bunny ears meant "sex" when held behind someone's head . He admittedly did not know anything else associated with the word, thats why he spoke freely about it when saw the gesture.
It was all innocent. He had no clue that he was opening a can of worms. I just found it a bit odd that he had to say he was sorry to the other kids. I would have just told him "that's not something we talk about here so let's not say that anymore okay?"
He's not upset and I'm not upset, I just think that was a weird way to handle it, having him to say "i'm sorry" when he didn't even know what it meant.
Thoughts?
As a retired elementary school teacher, I strongly suspect that there was a much bigger "back story" to this whole situation than you will ever know.
I would not be surprised that students making "bunny ears" had caused numerous problems before in the classroom and the teacher needed to firmly stop the behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if it had happened on the playground or the first classmate had gone into greater detail about "sex" and other parents were told this by their children and went to the principal and blamed the teacher for "encouraging and/or not stopping inappropriate language and behavior" (or whatever).
I'll share a story that happened to one of my co-workers. One of her fifth grade students occasionally used the phrase "Oh, geeze". Well, a parent found out and was livid that the teacher was not punishing that student and it meant that her child was able to hear "that terrible, bad word" in school. The parent went to the principal and wanted the teacher fired (yes, fired). Everyone was pretty confused until we finally realized that the parent felt that saying "geeze" was blasphemy for "taking the Lord's name in vain" (geeze as slang for Jesus). And, this was a public school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aridon
This thread, wow.
I'm sorry educators that you have to deal with this idiocy from parents. Talk about snow flakes.
Everything is an all out assault these days.
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