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Everyone complains about teachers and school counselors. Every little thing. I can imagine it gets old. And no, I don't work for a school but I sympathize with them. They get lots of complaints from parents almost every day. Many parents cannot accept that their child might be wrong about something, might not be perfect, might need some correction at times.
Agreed. And this "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" is amazing. "They should have done this, that, the other".
I have to agree. It's not quite like equating "sex" with "lettuce". More like with "butt" or "wiener" or "tiddy" or something like that. They know it's considered a little, well, for lack of a better work "dirty".
It's also entirely possible that the kid that did the bunny ears (innocently) got upset when told that what he/she did actually meant something "dirty" and maybe feared they might get in trouble. Hence the apology from the kid who told him that he was doing something "bad". Just a thought...
This is true but leading a kid down and _telling_ them to say "sorry" is not teaching them proper and sincere techniques. That is what would bother me about the counsellor - and doubt their training - in how the OP described the event.
If as the Controlling Administrator of the school I heard my school counsellor dealt with the situation in that way I would either be sending that counsellor for a retraining - or seeking a new one.
We "make" kids share long before they want to just because kids are innately selfish and not empathetic...but we teach them. The same as for apologizing. Just like adults "fake it before they make it". Sometimes the behavior has to be mimicked to learn it and make it part of your "natural" repertoire.
It's also entirely possible that the kid that did the bunny ears (innocently) got upset when told that what he/she did actually meant something "dirty" and maybe feared they might get in trouble. Hence the apology from the kid who told him that he was doing something "bad". Just a thought...
I think so too. Honestly, I was a kid who said a lot of weird and random stuff - whatever popped into my head. I think if someone said "Slow your roll and apologize to the class for being inappropriate" it would have helped me greatly on a social level. Raised by two narcissists, I was not really taught to think about the implications of what I said. It kind of contributed to me spending much of my childhood struggling socially. "Think before you speak" is a great thing to teach a child, imo. It's not going to stifle their creativity or self-expression to expect them to consider what they're about to say rather than just blurting out whatever pops into their heads.
Good point. Thats what i thought about. She wanted to cover the schools ass right on the spot.
Or she was just busy and didn't think it through and told your kid to apologize even though it was sort of a strange response. She may have just wanted to deal with it quickly and move on.
My son said "that means sex" when he saw a boy do the "rabbit ears" behind a girls head in class. The teacher overheard and called the counselor. After speaking with him in the hallway he was told to go back in and apologize, which he did.
My son said that he learned from a fellow classmate earlier this year that the bunny ears meant "sex" when held behind someone's head . He admittedly did not know anything else associated with the word, thats why he spoke freely about it when saw the gesture.
It was all innocent. He had no clue that he was opening a can of worms. I just found it a bit odd that he had to say he was sorry to the other kids. I would have just told him "that's not something we talk about here so let's not say that anymore okay?"
He's not upset and I'm not upset, I just think that was a weird way to handle it, having him to say "i'm sorry" when he didn't even know what it meant.
Thoughts?
One thing to consider is that dealing with such issues at home as a parent with one child is far different than dealing with 18-20 first graders that are not your own.
At home it's easy enough to get your child to understand that something they said is not true and to divert their attention to something more positive. However with 20 kids all hearing the word 'sex' used (no matter the context) the teacher has to manage group control of a likely mixed bag of responses before dealing with the children directly involved in the exchange. The kids could be giggling, laughing out loudly, scared by the others reactions, embarrassed by the usage of the word due to some understanding of what it means, confused because they don't have a clue what was said and so on.
Once the others are back on track the teacher then has to decide, based on those other students reactions and her training, how to handle it. These days a 1st grader using the word sex is something that *could* be a sign of sexual abuse, so the first thing a teacher usually must do is bring in the counselor to evaluate the situation. I would venture to say that angle was dismissed quickly or you would have been brought into the discussions instead of simply hearing from your son what occurred and that all that was required was an apology.
Perhaps his apology was requested more for causing a disruption in class by saying what he said than for actually saying what he did. Perhaps his apology was meant for the person who had the bunny ears behind them because they were embarrassed and upset to have that attention on them. Perhaps his apology was supposed to be for the boy who did the bunny ears and might have been horrified that what he did caused such a commotion. Perhaps all of the above. All of those apologies are good examples of teachable moments to a young child who, albeit innocently, caused a disruption and possibly prompted upset reactions.
If you were in a grocery store and your son saw a pregnant lady and stated she was fat, you would likely covertly explain her condition and help him learn that saying things like that are rude and in this case also incorrect. However if the lady heard him say it and burst into tears because she is overdue and is 'feeling' fat, you would likely have him apologize to the lady as he didn't mean to make her cry.
Apologies are typically learned and not instinctual for everyone. As they age they are better able to understand when it's appropriate if they have been taught earlier then how to and when to apologize early on.
So, no, I don't think it was weird for him to be asked to apologize because up until that point he didn't know/realize/understand he had caused any problems. Now he knows and hopefully learned from this.
The day before yesterday, my 7 year old 1st grader asked me "Mom, what's inappropriate about a lap dance?"
She said overheard it in class from a boy who tends to require a lot of the teacher's attention because, as my daughter described him, "is always in trouble". Thankfully, my daughter has the good sense to generally avoid him whenever possible.
My kids learned the sl, po star and the wh word from CNN and Trump's scandals. Day time hours. On in the back ground.
I got the hear "mommy what is a _______" for each of those.
I'm sorry educators that you have to deal with this idiocy from parents. Talk about snow flakes.
Everything is an all out assault these days.
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