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Old Yesterday, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,946 posts, read 3,666,639 times
Reputation: 13317

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Well no issue there...she is almost always with me and tells me *most* things. LOL For now I am like "OMG when am I ever going to have "me" time...when am I ever gonna get a break". Once she makes it through this rough patch I am going to me "omg my baby grew up too fast....when is my turn to spend time with her!" LOL
Lol, that's like my other daughter (yep, I have two, she's almost 11). She's the one who wants to always be with me! My 12yr old always wants to be by herself or with her friends. I don't mind the younger one being with me all the time though because as you said, soon they won't want to be
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Old Yesterday, 03:48 PM
 
4,832 posts, read 2,047,295 times
Reputation: 13629
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
Why even let her invite the friend over if they won't be allowed to interact? You think that's not going to cause conflict, when the girl invites her friend over and then essentially blows her off-- or rather, a parent blows her off?
This. And having the parent sit in between them and then dumping her off? That could cause all sorts of other stuff for the daughter especially with preteen girls.
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Old Yesterday, 05:03 PM
 
10,142 posts, read 6,800,658 times
Reputation: 23849
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
This. And having the parent sit in between them and then dumping her off? That could cause all sorts of other stuff for the daughter especially with preteen girls.
Honestly, I think it was a thoughtful idea. Yes, it is a bit much for a neurotypical 12 year old. But I already said my child isn't. I think that poster was trying to give me ideas of how to take the pressure off my daughter, while preserving the friendship in this rough time. I am not sure that many people "get" how difficult it is to raise a child with EXTREME anxiety...so I appreciate the advice and ideas how to keep the friendship while helping my daughter manage her higher energy friend. I don't think it would go to the level that I need to sit between them. But the poster who put this up as an option is only going by what I am sharing. And...it was all good advice. Luckily I don't need all of it in our situation...but I see where they were coming from and I think the advice was pretty sensitive to the needs of a child with severe anxiety. As extreme measures might not be needed, but the advice is welcomed and I find it helpful.
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Old Yesterday, 07:45 PM
 
Location: VT-> NY-> CT
8,774 posts, read 5,022,459 times
Reputation: 14309
OP: I think it would go a long way to let your daughter decide who she wants to spend time with, and (if sheís okay with it) broach the issue with Zís parent, so they know it isnít personal and their daughter hasnít done anything wrong. My daughter has been the Z, but in her case the other girlís mother said nothing... but went out of her way to exclude my daughter. We didnít know each other well, so I want to be charitable and chalk it up to unintentional cruelty (maybe she didnít feel comfortable addressing it?).. But it was cruel, just the same. Z and her parents will start to take the hint if you say nothing, but it will hurt a lot less if you preemptively address it.
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Old Today, 02:05 AM
 
Location: Forest Service Cabin-90% of the yr
118 posts, read 21,488 times
Reputation: 176
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Honestly, I think it was a thoughtful idea. Yes, it is a bit much for a neurotypical 12 year old. But I already said my child isn't. I think that poster was trying to give me ideas of how to take the pressure off my daughter, while preserving the friendship in this rough time. I am not sure that many people "get" how difficult it is to raise a child with EXTREME anxiety...so I appreciate the advice and ideas how to keep the friendship while helping my daughter manage her higher energy friend. I don't think it would go to the level that I need to sit between them. But the poster who put this up as an option is only going by what I am sharing. And...it was all good advice. Luckily I don't need all of it in our situation...but I see where they were coming from and I think the advice was pretty sensitive to the needs of a child with severe anxiety. As extreme measures might not be needed, but the advice is welcomed and I find it helpful.
Exactly I got your post mixed up not realizing you were the op but you understood. You sound like a loving parent in-tuned with what your child needs.
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