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Okay I need a little adult guidance!! I'm REALLY REALLY trying not to revert back to elementary and go kick some kids behind for picking on my baby!!! uggghhh
My daughter is only in the 4th grade and it's starting ALREADY this is frustrating and annoying!! There is a clique of mean girls who have been picking on my daughter daily for the past two + weeks. I have gone in and spoken with the teacher. I've met with the principal and at this point I am so far past the telling my daughter "just ignore them baby" stage!! The principal said she's going to "talk to them". For some reason I don't have too much faith in that working. I'm ready to tell her to kick some *ss and take names later!!! uuggghhh They have gone beyond just talking about her and ganging up on her, they are now pushing her in line and other things. THEN when my daughter yells at them to leave her alone ... of course the teacher FINALLY can see and hear and she's telling my daughter to "calm down".
I'm about to lose it people!!!
Similar stuff happened to me when I was in those grades.. I'd put your daughter in martial arts classes ASAP(and I don't mean kick boxing, tae kwon do or karate, I mean mixed martial arts, jujitsu, or some other kind of wrestling) so that she can defend herself IF need be. For me, the taunting became so bad that people threatened to burn down my house & my principal asked me not to go to school some days.
As for the girls that are picking on your daughter. I would definitely have your daughter tell you who they are (first & last name) & on the next parent/teacher thing, I would make a point to talk to those girl's parents about how their kids are treating your daughter & politely ask them to do something about it. I'd also notify the school that if your daughter continues having problems, that you'll start looking into your legal options. Maybe tell the bullies' parents that, too. You can also transfer your daughter out of that school, homeschool her or put her in private school.. If she's the artsy type, like I was, an art or music school would be great, too!
What's odd to me is she knows how to box. My brother was a boxer and has worked with my daughter and niece, not extensively but... they know how to bob, weave and throw some blows!! lol I guess it's a good thing that she isn't a trouble maker. She has always been so worried about getting in trouble she doesn't start fights. I don't want her to hurt anybody but... she could really do some damage if she wanted to.
I'm just counting down the days until this school year is OVER!!!
LOL that sounds like my dad.. he always tells people i'm really nice, but will kick their butt if they mess with me. XD which is true! lol~ i really hope your daughter doesn't have to deal with bullies in her next school. but i still think getting her into some MMA/grappling/boxing classes would be very beneficial for her. those martial arts are very direct & to the point & you'll be able to rest easy, knowing your girl can defend herself if need be.
As I discussed above in this thread, my daughter had two friends who turned on her this year and did some hateful things like going out of their way to exclude her and writing nasty notes like "You can't sit at our table" when she was minding her own business.
Yesterday she wanted to invite one of the girls to go swimming and said that this girl is always nice to her when it's just the two of them playing and only gets mean when the third girl is around. I said "No," and told her that she deserved to be treated well all the time and not just when the two of them were alone. It made my daughter sad so I told her to call her and she did, but no one was home.
Was I right to say no? I don't want my daughter to think it's ok to be treated like dirt by anyone. Or should I encourage her to have one-on-one time with this girl in the hopes that it will strengthen their friendship?
She will have to learn to deal with these types of games all her life.
Most of these games depend on the cooperation of the victim. Teach her to remove her cooperation.
One strategy is to have her laugh at these girls when they start and then get up an leave. "Ahahah! You are SOOOO FUNNY! This conversation is over with."
If the girls touch her or restrain her in any way, then she should know a simple counter, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" screamed as LOUD as she can followed by a right hook to the girl's ear. She should then break down in tears, even if fake, and claim the other girl "assaulted her and I was so afraid..they won't leave me alone.!!!! Can you call the police???"
And to provent this in the future, put your girl in a competitive sports program so she has a venue where her self-worth is not tied to social dominance games at school.
IMHO most of the cliqish girls in JH and HS ended up worn out by the time they were in their 20s.
Okay I need a little adult guidance!! I'm REALLY REALLY trying not to revert back to elementary and go kick some kids behind for picking on my baby!!! uggghhh
My daughter is only in the 4th grade and it's starting ALREADY this is frustrating and annoying!! There is a clique of mean girls who have been picking on my daughter daily for the past two + weeks. I have gone in and spoken with the teacher. I've met with the principal and at this point I am so far past the telling my daughter "just ignore them baby" stage!! The principal said she's going to "talk to them". For some reason I don't have too much faith in that working. I'm ready to tell her to kick some *ss and take names later!!! uuggghhh They have gone beyond just talking about her and ganging up on her, they are now pushing her in line and other things. THEN when my daughter yells at them to leave her alone ... of course the teacher FINALLY can see and hear and she's telling my daughter to "calm down".
I'm about to lose it people!!!
my daughter is 6, in kindergarden, we have had issues at this age, i know how it can be, i was always targeted because i was shy. she is thankfully strong willed and it hasnt gotten to her yet but shes only 6. the little girls in the 3 classes have formed groups. there is one little girl that has the kids on puppet strings. she has the (as cute as it sounds) the hannah montanah group. and i mentioned one day when we saw a little girl my daughter was friends with earlier, sweet kid, i asked if she played with her. my d, said no they are mean to me and are in the hannah montanah group so we are in the mermaids.
it didnt seem to get to her but another little girl she is friends with isnt handleing it so well, when her mom mentioned it to me i talked to the teacher. she made light of it and said she would watch.
ive since had the leader of the hannah montana group in our karate class and i see how she is. very manipulating and sure of herself. she kept putting her foot in my d face.my d just ignored her until she stopped, i just watched to see what would happen, her mother never said a word.
my d is friendly with this little girl but she isnt clicky, stays neutral and preferst the company of her little best friend who isnt included as much. i was floored when the mother of this little girl said when my d was talking to her daughter, she said isnt it cute how our daughters are the popular snobby girls. i was not happy and had all i could do to keep quiet. i let it go.
hopefully she gets thru all of this and doesnt get swayed into the clicks and doesnt get bullied either. im so worried about all of that. it was brutal at times for me. in the end, i had friends in all groups and no enemies
sorry for the book i wrote here. lol
Marlow, my daughter has the same problem, it's the same thing when it's just her and this one other girl they get along great, but as soon as the 3rd girl shows up my daughter is quickly cast aside. In the long run it hurts her more, that R will play with her and be nice when J is not around but she is quickly cast aside and made fun of by both when J shows up. It is so hard to know what to do, you don't want your daughter to become a mean girl but I also don't want her to be a door mat either. My daughter starts Middle School in the fall I hope it gets better but I fear it will only get worse.
Good Luck love your daughter and try to be a good role model for her I think is all we can
do.
Marlow, my daughter has the same problem, it's the same thing when it's just her and this one other girl they get along great, but as soon as the 3rd girl shows up my daughter is quickly cast aside. In the long run it hurts her more, that R will play with her and be nice when J is not around but she is quickly cast aside and made fun of by both when J shows up. It is so hard to know what to do, you don't want your daughter to become a mean girl but I also don't want her to be a door mat either. My daughter starts Middle School in the fall I hope it gets better but I fear it will only get worse.
Good Luck love your daughter and try to be a good role model for her I think is all we can
do.
When I was younger, my mom had a general rule that only 2 girls were allowed to play at one time. So that meant I could only have 1 friend over at a time, because even otherwise nice kids will tend to "pair off" and leave one feeling neglected.
This doesn't help when it happens at school though, I know. Sorry.
First, call the teacher and tell her/him if it continues you will call the principal. Then call the principal and tell her/him that if it continues you will call the school board members. Then call each and every one of the school board members at their homes and tell them that you have had no help from the teacher or the principal and that if it continues you will SUE the school district because they are not providing a "safe and secure" environment for your child. (Be sure to use those words) If that doesn't help, go to the school board meetings and speak at the public access portion of the meeting. Again, use the phrase "safe and secure learning environment" and mention that you hate to be forced to resort to the court system to ensure your daughter's physical and emotional safety. Having been a member of a school board for a number of years, I'd bet that would get some results. If not, call a lawyer. It is time that bullies are not tolerated.
I forgot to mention that our situation is complicated by the fact that I'm good friends with one of the little girls' parents. I like them and they're good people. It's not their fault that their daughter is a little b***h. For a while my daughter wanted to get together with the friend and her mom for a pow-wow, but after the last episode I told my daughter that she is too good of a person to try and be friends with these other two.
Still, the whole being friends with the parents thing is tricky.
No, it's not tricky at all. You sit down with the mother and explain that her daughter is treating your daughter badly and that it is jeopardizing your friendship as well. It is fine if the girls choose not to be friends but the bullying pushes it over the line. It is one thing to support your daughter from the sidelines it is another to stand up with her and honestly, I am not sure how you could think it was OK not to have a discussion with the girl and her mother. Yes, your daughter needs to learn to stand up for herself but so do you. If this mother is really a good friend (and a good parent) she will appreciate that you brought this to her attention and she will deal with her daughter at home (as it is clear the school is incompetent).
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pre school and kindergarden
