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Capt. Dan, my question for you is this: what if your child told you he was gay, but was not dating or "living the lifestyle" in any demonstrative way? Would you kick your child out for just "being" gay? Or are there specific actions that you would kick your child out for, such as dating, kissing, etc members of the same gender? I just wonder because I would bet that a lot of teens are attracted to others (gay or hetero) but are not dating. I hope my question is clear, but I fear that I haven't done a good job in asking it.
I'm curious about the answer to that question as well. My daughter knows that she and her girlfriend can't have total privacy when they visit, and that has nothing to do with the lesbian aspect. It has to do with standards of behavior. I would never spend the night with some random guy right under my children's noses, and I expect the same respect in return.
They have held hands when watching a movie, which made me a little uncomfortable, if I'm honest. This has more to do with my own weird hangups, though.
the subject lack's ingredient.
i'm just wondering how a parent can miss to know his or her kid is gay. not unless the parent don't concern themselves to their kids. there are gestures, mannerism, what they love that manifest even during childhood.
My wife, her father and I just returned from dinner with our 27 YO gay son & his partner. It's nice to see them so happy and in a committed relationship. His partner is the nicest guy who really cares for him and they make a great couple. Even my older father in law can accept this relationship with no questions
Whe he came out we mourned the lose of the son we thought we had but now celebrate the son we have and enjoy. How sad it is to see a young teen thrown out of his home for being who he was born to be.
Times have changed and yes there is still have a long way to go for many people.
One note - Our son is the straightest gay guy you'll ever meet.
I do know that, in a sensible fashion, you never know how your kids will turn out. They may disappoint you in many ways, but as long as their lives turn out to be productive and somewhat happy; that they aren't a malicious drain on society; then you should accept them. Otherwise, why get into the parenting deal in the first place? It's a crap shoot and you have to deal with the hand that's been laid out to you.
If only all parents felt this way. It IS pretty much a crap shoot. You can do everything you think is right, the best schools, soccer on Saturday mornings, great birthday parties, appropriate supervision during the teen years, etc., but they will make their own choices as adults, whether you approve or not. You love them no matter how they turn out, so it is great if they're productive members of society and can avoid jail.
the subject lack's ingredient.
i'm just wondering how a parent can miss to know his or her kid is gay. not unless the parent don't concern themselves to their kids. there are gestures, mannerism, what they love that manifest even during childhood.
I had 2 friends in H.S. and didn't realize they were both gay until well afterwards and was totally shocked since they were among the last I'd think were gay. I spent many, many hours with both of them from sleepovers to being around them every weekend as well as at school and there was no indication. As quick as kids are to jump on any difference in their peers especially this one if they'd have shown it we'd have seen it! On the other side of the coin, there were a couple of very effeminate guys that everyone accused of being gay but actually weren't and are married with kids.
I'd have to say that unless the boy/man is what some of my gay friends call a "swish" you'd never know.
See! the OP's question was "what would you do." But you really just want people to agree with you! Its always "how sad" when we dont! If homosexuality, especially among men, was as "natural" as you claim, there would not be 4 billion people in the world! Educate myself? I'll put my education up against yours anyday. At least I'm educated enough to know that men belong with women and that certain sexual activities spread diseases that have NO cures. You coddle them! I wont!
What difference does it make to you if someone is gay? I am not coddling anyone, just accepting of ALL of God's children. That is all. I love how you say, "especially in men". How is it okay for women but not men? (your view) Oh, and by the way.... if the disease you are talking about is AIDS it can and is spread by women as well. It is not a "gay" disease.
I'd be lying to myself if I said I'd take it well.
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