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I agree with the greed thought, and the 'all about me', and it's always somebody else's fault.
We're up against a lot, and it won't be until another generation grows up and a lot more of these kids become adults that a really close look is taken and things change.
I pick up several kids on our street for carpool to school. They are all in middle school. Not one of them knows how to unlock the car doors from the inside...their parents always just push the little button for them. Only my kids pack their own lunches, although the other kids constantly complain about the lunches their mothers packed, sometimes complaining directly to the mother. If even one time my kids complain about a favor I do for them it is the last time I ever do it. It take it as a sign they are ready to handle it themselves (and learn some appreciation along the way).
I don't know just when this all happened but I have seen kids hit their mother in the face, spit at siblings, make demands that the parents bend over backwards to meet. It's odd to me. I don't understand the parenting 'techniques' of many of my peers. It sure doesn't seem an easier way to parent given the sniping, bickering and arguing that results from the parents trying to 'negotiate' with their kids.
I think parents give their kids too much slack while at the same time lowering standards, make excuses, try to make everything OK all the time. That's not representative of real life and kids are growing up in fantasy land. It's sad really,but now that my kids are older they are appreciating the hard lessons they learned when they were little. They wonder why their peers are so spoiled and yet so ungrateful, have so many opportunities and yet an equal number of complaints.
Crazyworld-my daughter is 3 and your story just made me sad for that little girl.
I'm in my 30's and my friends and I talk about how we grew up, and how we would never have gotten away with what kids get away with today, and you NEVER would have caught my mother saying anything near to, "Well, honey, how about if you do x I'll let you have y and z????" LMAO-that just so would not have happened. I think some parents now get caught up in trying not to be as strict as their parents were, not realizing that some of it was necessary and useful, and end up all the way at the other end of the spectrum. I really hope I'm able to find a happy medium.
My kids knew that by 6th grade, they were expected to set the alarm in the morning and get up by themselves, and to have their lunches packed. These are small things but kids need to learn responsiblity for their actions. They also learned that if they wanted a favor from me, best ask for it with a pleasant attitude (as opposed to an entitled, whiney one) and a "thanks mom!" In life, if you are depending on someones good graces to help you out in a jam, then being nice is imperative. Better they learn that early. I don't know what I would do if I witnessed some of the behaviors mentioned above. Fortunately, the friends my kids have chosen have been raised much the same way as they have - which helps a lot.
regarese.being a day care provider for the last 29 years I have a lot of them. LOL
I was very strict with my kids and I believe in tough love.
My daughter is 29 and my son 27 and my daughter thanks me today for being so strict. She didn't then.
You never know how your children will turn out until they are grown. You give them all the tools for life and see what they do with them.
They need to win and they need to fail. That's life.
Unfortunately there a lot of people who are so full of themselves and they are the ones that say "oh that is so and so not me".
The world needs more mirrors.
My kids knew that by 6th grade, they were expected to set the alarm in the morning and get up by themselves, and to have their lunches packed. These are small things but kids need to learn responsiblity for their actions. They also learned that if they wanted a favor from me, best ask for it with a pleasant attitude (as opposed to an entitled, whiney one) and a "thanks mom!" In life, if you are depending on someones good graces to help you out in a jam, then being nice is imperative. Better they learn that early. I don't know what I would do if I witnessed some of the behaviors mentioned above. Fortunately, the friends my kids have chosen have been raised much the same way as they have - which helps a lot.
A few nights ago I watched a teen talk show on Nickelodeon with my 6th grader. All of them agreed that they wished their parents would just be parents and not their friends.
My kids tell me that I'm "mean" a lot. My theory is that if my kids don't think I'm mean at least some of the time, I'm not doing my job.
BTW, after the Nickelodeon show, my son said that he's glad I'm a parent to him and not a friend. We do a lot together, and have a lot of fun, but he knows that I'm the authority figure in the relationship. Too bad so many parents forget that.
Most parents are afraid of their own kids. They want to be buddies!
While in conversation with this one woman, she casually mentioned ds yellling at her, and just kept rolling on, as if it's no biggie.. kinda like a normal occurance. Please..nobody yells at big mamma in my house!
Besides, people care more about "keeping up with the Joneses" than parenting!
I think also the birth control invention "helped", too. Having 6 -12+ children required much more firmness from the parents. For children, the necessity of growing up in a group developed respect (for the parents, for peers) and knowing your own place.
One or two children became so much more precious and self-important.
But I still see the unassuming people, who don't think it's anyone's responsibility to help them in life. They come from all walks of life (they exist even in the white-collar world). They don't notice the Joneses, and even less think of competing with them. They used to be called "the good guys who finish last"? They share a personal makeup that makes them happy within their own skin, with their favorite thing they do.
I would also like to add that politeness and respect go both ways. We did not wait for a certain age then "teach" our children manners. We do it all the time. When I ask DH to do something, it's "please" and "thank you", same as if I ask my kids. "Please get your room cleaned up" (ok, well, maybe not so much after the 2nd time I have to ask LOL) or "please remember to unload the dishwasher before you go to your friend's house" etc. It gets to be like wearing a seatbelt - it is so automatic that they don't even think about it. I had to laugh, just last night I was picking up my 15 yo son and a couple of his friends - they were planning a sleepover at our house (no school today -teacher inservice). We stopped at Target to get some soda, chips etc. By the time we actually got back to our house, there had been so many "thank you's" (thanks Mom, thanks Mrs. X, thanks for coming over Bob, thanks for inviting me Jim) that it actually got to be funny. Great kids all of them. I do have hope for the future....
It's heartwarming to see that in this thread, I am in the company of parents who still have common sense, parents who value the concepts of responsibility, discipline, independence, hard work, respect, and a good grasp of a viable reward and punishment system.
More power to all of you...
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Only my kids pack their own lunches, although the other kids constantly complain about the lunches their mothers packed, sometimes complaining directly to the mother. If even one time my kids complain about a favor I do for them it is the last time I ever do it. It take it as a sign they are ready to handle it themselves (and learn some appreciation along the way). 
and just kept rolling on, as if it's no biggie.. kinda like a normal occurance.
