Are Most Kids Born Either "Good" or "Bad"? (punishment, babies)

[jtur88]

Do you believe that some kids are born with a natural sense of fairness and kindness wired into them, which only needs to be positively reinforced, and others lack this and can only become "good" by imposing discipline and punishment on them?

[Granny Sue]

You know this is a great question.

I honestly answered that I didn't know.

I've seen dramatic results from both directions.

A lawless family unit turning out a pillar of society and the Pillar's family turning out a lawless kid.

All raised the same way but different results.

Something to make you go...hmmmmm

[renee-renee16]

NO I do not believe that the child is not born with good or baddness it's how the parent raises it in the process. That's what makes the hole difference.

[skahar]

I do think we are born with our personalities and those personalities tend to shape how we are in life, whether we are fair, honest, wild, agressive etc...That being said our enviroment tends to fine tune, if you will, these personalities. So if you have a baby and it's a very easy going non fussy baby I think it will turn out to have the same demeanor as an adult, unless its enviroment forces it to change.

[Siobjuan]

Originally Posted by Granny Sue

You know this is a great question.

I honestly answered that I didn't know.

I've seen dramatic results from both directions.

A lawless family unit turning out a pillar of society and the Pillar's family turning out a lawless kid.

All raised the same way but different results.

Something to make you go...hmmmmm

I have 3 brothers and 4 sisters, so I feel somewhat qualified to answer this. I think it has more to do with environment. Yes each person has their own personality and tendencies, but if all the children are treated equally, and this is very important, and all are taught values, consequences, and responsibility, they will all turn out to be 'good' people.

I have seen instances where more than one kid is raised by the same people, in the same house, but where older kids were treated one way and the babies of the family were never held accountable or where one kid is the favorite and can do no wrong and that's where you get different results.

[rockinmomma]

There is a difference between a high maintenance child and a "bad" child. I think all kids are born neutral. They have the ability to learn to be "good" and "bad". Since children are completely dependant upon us for their survival, the parents are who teach through reinforcement the behaviors that will be rewarded. Children use this information to get their needs met. So, I think it is the environment that produces "bad" children.

Just to be clear, just because a child has a different disposition, independant streak, willful, and has a mind of their own, this doesn't make them a "bad" child.

[wilvan]

I read about a research done many years ago on identical twins who were adopted by different families at birth. They were tracked through their adulthood and the findings are quite interesting. The separated twins were adopted by parents of different backgrounds, wealth status, educational attainment, etc; the twins however, more often than not, ended up in similar situation later in life. Many of the separated twins became respected members of society such as doctors, judges, teachers, etc. while some twins became criminals even though they were raised up by good families. In a nutshell, this research conclusively points to a person's genes, more than the environment, as the main determinant to one's life outcome.

[dsh1127]

Originally Posted by Granny Sue

You know this is a great question.

I honestly answered that I didn't know.

I've seen dramatic results from both directions.

A lawless family unit turning out a pillar of society and the Pillar's family turning out a lawless kid.

All raised the same way but different results.

Something to make you go...hmmmmm

I have seen this, too. I also agree with Skahar, in that we are born with certain personality tendencies, but life experiences may alter or exaggerate those personalities.

Using my 2 kids as an example, they are both raised in the same home, but put them in the same situation, and you will get two different outcomes. By the same token, they are not both disciplined the same at all times - it has to be tailored to what works for that kid.

It does make you go....hmmmmmm! You can only try your best to instill goodness in them and give them the ability to think for themselves - - - - - and hope for the best!

[miasmommy]

Put me down for an "I don't know."

What I do know is my little angel WAS born perfect

[Leilani Vasquez]

I believe there's a logical reasoning behind why kids behave a certain way. I don't think they are born either "good" or "bad". I believe that all humans are born "neutral". We learn from things that go on around us, which in-turn becomes the positives and negatives. I also believe that each individual person learns at a different rate, and in a different way.

I also believe a child could develop a mental illness at some point. I don't believe that makes the child "bad", just ill.