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You have to keep in mind that children react according to their surroundings. My nephew is that age and, since his mother and his older brother are both into fashion (and have the money to buy what they like thanks to my brother-in-law), so is he. He recognizes name brands and has made comments about what's missing in my house or how small my car is (since his mother drives an expensive SUV and my wife and I just had the corolla until recently). I told him the same thing that my parents told me when I was his age, "Not everyone is as fortunate as you to have so many things and it's rude to point it out or to show off what you have."
His older brother got the same answer when he made the same kind of comments a few years back and the good thing is that, since they really are good kids, they haven't made such comments since.
Unfortunately, not every parent teaches their children these things. In fact, it seems to me that it's taught less and less each year and so you have more and more children and younger and younger ages being concerned with such nonsense.
I think it also has to do with the fact that so many adults have become concerned with showing off their material possesions and have been enabled by credit card companies to do so. It used to be that, if you couldn't afford something, you either saved up for it or didn't get it at all. Nowadays, you just open up a credit card account and get whatever you want even if you can't pay for it later. But that's a whole other rant.
Wrong...by "issue", I meant I couldn't afford to shop at Hollister, meaning the money "issue" (love those quotations)....I have a habit of using the word "always". Shoot me. WTH would I lie? Not all school have hateful, teasing, bullying kids...so they didn't feel any pressure.
Basically, I was trying to tell the OP that it is possible to dress in trendy clothing without the cost....but thanks for disecting my post!
Unless you know me or my kids...who are grown BTW....don't ASSume.
I'd love to see what the children of the parenst here who NEVER give in to any of their whims...where do people like that get their clothing? Bet it costs more than I spent on my kids.
It is not an assumption when someone is reading the direct quotes that you made.
YOU were the one who said that their friends were "none the wiser", so that does imply that it was important to your children to dress a certain way due to pressure, teasing, whatever. That is based off of what YOU wrote in your posts, right?
Why would you lie, you ask? I don't know, but why would you use words to describe your situation if they weren't true? I guess it makes it better that your posts were full of exaggerations instead of contradictions? I'm with you now.
And FTR YOU are making ASSumptions by saying that other people's children's clothing cost more than your kids'. Or did you not really say or mean that either?
If my kids comes home and says that he/she needs a new piece of clothing because it is a name brand or he/she will be a social outcast/die/never be able to go to school again, I would have to say "too bad"!
To a certain extent I agree with this sentiment. I do not think kids need to buy things like $200 sneakers and $75 tank tops because that is ridiculous. However, if your kids ever socialize (in school or out) it can be difficult to be very far outside the mainstream. That does not mean that you need to cave into rampant materialism or be a total slave to labels, but it does mean that parents should recognize that there are certain social norms in our society and it is easier to make friends if you stay within those social norms.
That does not necessarily mean an entire wardrobe made up of expensive items but you may be able to get by with a few trendy "name" items paired with look alikes. My boys wear Quicksilver t shirts with Target plaid shorts and that saves me a bunch while giving them the same look as Quicksilver tshirts and Quicksilver shorts. There are ways to work with your kids and still maintain sanity.
It is not an assumption when someone is reading the direct quotes that you made.
YOU were the one who said that their friends were "none the wiser", so that does imply that it was important to your children to dress a certain way due to pressure, teasing, whatever. That is based off of what YOU wrote in your posts, right?
Why would you lie, you ask? I don't know, but why would you use words to describe your situation if they weren't true? I guess it makes it better that your posts were full of exaggerations instead of contradictions? I'm with you now.
And FTR YOU are making ASSumptions by saying that other people's children's clothing cost more than your kids'. Or did you not really say or mean that either?
I don't really have any idea what you are talking about.
You seem obsessed with me.
I was trying to give my opinion to OP...but I'm glad to have amused you in the process by not choosing my words more carefully.
Obviously I have had some bad "behavior" by buying my kids yard sale clothing that happened to have had a brand across the front (Walmart clothing costs more)....from some sort of peer pressure from the evil farm kids my kids go to school with.
Sorry this has turned so ugly OP, that wasn't my intention.....
To a certain extent I agree with this sentiment. I do not think kids need to buy things like $200 sneakers and $75 tank tops because that is ridiculous. However, if your kids ever socialize (in school or out) it can be difficult to be very far outside the mainstream. That does not mean that you need to cave into rampant materialism or be a total slave to labels, but it does mean that parents should recognize that there are certain social norms in our society and it is easier to make friends if you stay within those social norms.
That does not necessarily mean an entire wardrobe made up of expensive items but you may be able to get by with a few trendy "name" items paired with look alikes. My boys wear Quicksilver t shirts with Target plaid shorts and that saves me a bunch while giving them the same look as Quicksilver tshirts and Quicksilver shorts. There are ways to work with your kids and still maintain sanity.
Thank you for saying what I couldn't express without exaggerating or contridicting myself.
This is how I feel as well.
I don't really have any idea what you are talking about.
You seem obsessed with me.
I was trying to give my opinion to OP...but I'm glad to have amused you in the process by not choosing my words more carefully.
Obviously I have had some bad "behavior" by buying my kids yard sale clothing that happened to have had a brand across the front (Walmart clothing costs more)....from some sort of peer pressure from the evil farm kids my kids go to school with.
Sorry this has turned so ugly OP, that wasn't my intention.....
ROFL! How does responding to your posts and questions in your posts make me obsessed with you? I was also trying to express my opinion to the OP and I disagreed with what you had to say. That tends to happen on forums where you debate with complete strangers. *shrug*
I have no problem with buying kids' clothes at yard sales and Goodwill. I buy my kids clothes like that all the time. That was not what was being debated at all. My problem from the get-go was parents who are going out of their way to buy brand name clothing for their children so that they will fit in with their friends. I think the idea is ridiculous and that parents should focus more on empowering their children to think for themselves instead of following the herd. If that is what you do, or did, and you feel threated by that statement, then maybe the problem is with YOU and not me.
You seem confused by a lot of things in this thread, including the stuff that YOU wrote in your own posts. Maybe you should go back and reread the entire thread so you actually know what is going on before you go accusing people of being obsessed. You have contradicted yourself so many times that no one has a clue what you are saying!
To a certain extent I agree with this sentiment. I do not think kids need to buy things like $200 sneakers and $75 tank tops because that is ridiculous. However, if your kids ever socialize (in school or out) it can be difficult to be very far outside the mainstream. That does not mean that you need to cave into rampant materialism or be a total slave to labels, but it does mean that parents should recognize that there are certain social norms in our society and it is easier to make friends if you stay within those social norms.
That does not necessarily mean an entire wardrobe made up of expensive items but you may be able to get by with a few trendy "name" items paired with look alikes. My boys wear Quicksilver t shirts with Target plaid shorts and that saves me a bunch while giving them the same look as Quicksilver tshirts and Quicksilver shorts. There are ways to work with your kids and still maintain sanity.
You are talking to the queen of "outside the mainstream"! LOL!
I don't see a problem with teaching kids that it doesn' matter what everyone else is doing, they should not feel pressured to do or wear things just to fit in. "Social norms" such as buying expensive clothes (even when offset by cheaper accessories, etc.) are ridiculous to me. It should not "make it easier to make friends" because of the clothes you are wearing. It's not like that for adults, is it? Do you only pick your friends based on the stylish clothes that they wear?
The reason that kids think this way is because parents continue to foster that line of thinking by buying the name brand clothing and buying into the "social norms". That was my original statement in this thread and it is still what I stand behind. *shrug*
You are talking to the queen of "outside the mainstream"! LOL!
I don't see a problem with teaching kids that it doesn' matter what everyone else is doing, they should not feel pressured to do or wear things just to fit in. "Social norms" such as buying expensive clothes (even when offset by cheaper accessories, etc.) are ridiculous to me. It should not "make it easier to make friends" because of the clothes you are wearing. It's not like that for adults, is it? Do you only pick your friends based on the stylish clothes that they wear?
The reason that kids think this way is because parents continue to foster that line of thinking by buying the name brand clothing and buying into the "social norms". That was my original statement in this thread and it is still what I stand behind. *shrug*
I am not making myself clear and I apologize for that.
When you go out into the world the clothes you wear send a message to the rest of the world. Sometimes it is appropriate to care what other people think of you. Most people do care what other people think of the way they look, at least some of the time. That doesn't always translate to buying name brand labels but there are times when you actually want to look a certain way.
For instance, if you are interviewing for a job as an accountant you probably would not wear denim shorts and flip flops to the interview. You might have to create a professional look on the cheap (which is possible) but you probably WOULD care what the interviewer thought and put on an outfit that was appropriate for the interview.
That outfit could take many forms. You could wear nice slacks and a blouse and blazer. You could wear a dress. A suit would be appropriate as would a skirt and blouse. Social norms does not mean you need to be a robot or copycat, but there are social norms for different situations that most people do want to follow.
I am all for helping kids realize that labels and the like do not make a person worthy (or unworthy). However, as a parent you have to question whether the fight you are picking is one you actually want to pick. If the kids want a certain look because they like that look (and liking it might come from seeing it somewhere else) I am not sure why you would fight with them about it (assuming its not to sexy, or something).
I think that by placing so much emphasis AGAINST name brands it gives them a status that they might not have otherwise. I wouldn't necessarily worry about the name brand thing. If your kids like their clothes and they do not bust the family budget I wouldn't stress over them one way or the other.
I am not making myself clear and I apologize for that.
When you go out into the world the clothes you wear send a message to the rest of the world. Sometimes it is appropriate to care what other people think of you. Most people do care what other people think of the way they look, at least some of the time. That doesn't always translate to buying name brand labels but there are times when you actually want to look a certain way.
For instance, if you are interviewing for a job as an accountant you probably would not wear denim shorts and flip flops to the interview. You might have to create a professional look on the cheap (which is possible) but you probably WOULD care what the interviewer thought and put on an outfit that was appropriate for the interview.
That outfit could take many forms. You could wear nice slacks and a blouse and blazer. You could wear a dress. A suit would be appropriate as would a skirt and blouse. Social norms does not mean you need to be a robot or copycat, but there are social norms for different situations that most people do want to follow.
I am all for helping kids realize that labels and the like do not make a person worthy (or unworthy). However, as a parent you have to question whether the fight you are picking is one you actually want to pick. If the kids want a certain look because they like that look (and liking it might come from seeing it somewhere else) I am not sure why you would fight with them about it (assuming its not to sexy, or something).
I think that by placing so much emphasis AGAINST name brands it gives them a status that they might not have otherwise. I wouldn't necessarily worry about the name brand thing. If your kids like their clothes and they do not bust the family budget I wouldn't stress over them one way or the other.
I think we are actually on the same page for the most part.
To a certain extent I agree with this sentiment. I do not think kids need to buy things like $200 sneakers and $75 tank tops because that is ridiculous. However, if your kids ever socialize (in school or out) it can be difficult to be very far outside the mainstream. That does not mean that you need to cave into rampant materialism or be a total slave to labels, but it does mean that parents should recognize that there are certain social norms in our society and it is easier to make friends if you stay within those social norms.
That does not necessarily mean an entire wardrobe made up of expensive items but you may be able to get by with a few trendy "name" items paired with look alikes. My boys wear Quicksilver t shirts with Target plaid shorts and that saves me a bunch while giving them the same look as Quicksilver tshirts and Quicksilver shorts. There are ways to work with your kids and still maintain sanity.
I agree because I think we have to be careful as parents by trying to encourage them to be themselves, sometimes it really IS easier to try and fit in. It's hard enough to be a kid and all of us can remember the desire to fit in. I think parents often go overboard in their haste to make them name brand mock-ups of their classmates but I also fear the parents who are so determined to make their kid unique that they suffer for it. I don't want a replica of every other kid in her school, but if the current fashion is long plaid shorts and flip flops, what's the harm in buying them (if they want them)? You can find plaid shorts in every store, from Target to Justice to Nordstroms. There are VERY few kids who know labels (and honestly, do you want your kid to be friends with those kinds of kids anyway?) and if you don't have one blazing across your chest, most of your child's classmates will be none the wiser. A plain colored t-shirt from Target without a logo on it looks the same as one from Justice without a logo on it. Better yet, buy a jacket or pullover with a name brand on it (if you can afford it) because every time they wear the jacket, they'll look like they shopped at the store for everything!
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ROFL! How does responding to your posts and questions in your posts make me obsessed with you? I was also trying to express my opinion to the OP and I disagreed with what you had to say. That tends to happen on forums where you debate with complete strangers. *shrug*
