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is she a widow? or lonely?
has she ever been nicely talked to about it?
i hope just because some people here who have 'anger issues 'dont convince you to be'ugly 'to your mom about it.
whatever the reason,
there is no point in creating a situation that perhaps cannot be repaired.
someday that mom will die and you may be left with much remorse and regret.
think before you speak-or act.
Is that y'alls only answer to this? A young girl must now move out on her own because the mommy that pays the bills wants to be a b*tch and a pain in the ass? So what you're saying is, if the OP is too young to get a good job to afford her own room and board, she should shut up and stop being annoyed by her annoying mother. Sorry, but that is just highly juvenile advice. Would you give that same advice if the mother was going a step further, like slapping her every time she asked where she's going? Would you then advise the OP to talk to her mom and ask her to stop or is it still the OP's fault and she should have to move out on her own, despite OBVIOUSLY not having the funds at such a young age. How about discussing her feelings with her mother and politely asking her to stop, rather than "blaming the victim" and telling her she must put up with her mom's bull sh*t or move out.
I guess I just don't see the OP as a "victim", as you put it. If she is annoyed by her mother's behaviors and the fact that she feels her mom is hovering and interfering with her life, then she is an adult and can feel free to move out of her mother's house. I really don't see your problem with that statement. The OP is 20 years old and can certainly figure out a way to take care of herself if she is so fed up with the way her mother treats her. By age 20 I was married, had a baby and was in the process of buying a house. It can be done!
If the mother was slapping the girl and doing anything else that may be abusive behavior, of course that is not the same thing. The OP is just bothered by what she perceives to be annoying behavior on her mother's part. Until she is living under her own roof and paying her own bills, I don't think she has anything to complain about. Maybe in that situation she'd actually appreciate having a mother that cared where she was going and what she was doing!
Yes, I did have the money, and yes I did move out. In my day we couldn't wait to get out on our own. I had three roommates and there were times we ate ketchup soup for dinner, but we had money for beer for a party! Good times. We learned to be adults. And we didn't have to worry about annoying habits our parents had. Some of the best times of my life was then.
WOW. A spoiled brat because she doesn't feel like answering the dumbest of questions every five seconds? A mother shows her love by being up your ass every second that you are in her home? Gimme a break, the mother is lonely and needs some friends.
No. This OP has other threads regarding her mother. She is trying to get some kind of validation so she can use it against her mother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connecticut Pam
Why is this "kid" a spoiled brat? The OP is 20 years old and far from being a "baby" or a "spoiled brat". I agree that his Mom loves him but the smothering stuff is not good. At 20, this young man needs to feel some degree of independence and maturity. If he tells his Mom where he is going when he LEAVES the house, that should be enough. Why when both he and his brother are merely going upstairs does she have to know where they are going or what they are doing??
If this doesn't ease up there will be no relationship for this Mom and her kids...they won't want her around them because she is so in their face all the time.
Based on her previous threads we basically don't believe what she is saying is true.
I think it's probably just a habit and she doesn't even realize she's doing it. Kinda like when I bump something, I automotically say "ouch" when it doesn't even hurt,lol..
She's hiding something throughout the house and she doesn't want you guys to find it. She's very suspicious of strangers as well and that's why she pesters your brother's friends when they are over. It's her way of making them feel unwelcomed so they won't want to come over anymore.
I don't like people near my stuff either (especially children) so I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I know where everyone is when they come over to my house. With me it's just a side effect of having been that child that has to touch everything and has broken a few trinkets but just put them back without saying anything. It's like I know that karma will get me back and I'm trying to stop it. To make things worse, I'm a bit of a collector of comics and toys so children are ALWAYS falling in love with my stuff.
My suggestions:
get your own car insurance
get your own health insurance
buy your own car without her as a co-signer
move out on your own and come and go as you please
Her house, her rules. Who do you think will have to answer the door at 2 in the morning if you have an accident?
My mother changed the locks on the doors when I turned 18. I was in CA at the time. I had missed my June rent payment while I was away.
NIftybergen....excellent post. I hate to be a skeptic but I'm not sure OP will take your advice. Too bad if she doesn't, it's good stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda
Did YOU have the money to move out at such a young age?
I moved out for the last time at 19, paid my way all the way. Last I knew 20 was adult enough to move out.
You know, I'm not sure how much more of this annoying parent OP can stand before she hits the road too. I'm taking notes just in case my kids want to live at home when they're 20, stay up all hours of the night, sleep all day and complain about me on message forums. So far I know that nagging and setting a bed time won't work but maybe asking them every 20 seconds "Whatcha doing? Where are you going?" will do the trick.
I'm taking notes just in case my kids want to live at home when they're 20, stay up all hours of the night, sleep all day and complain about me on message forums. So far I know that nagging and setting a bed time won't work but maybe asking them every 20 seconds "Whatcha doing? Where are you going?" will do the trick.
Ha! That made me laugh. It's fun to imagine, isn't it?
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