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I get tense in these situations but I try to remember that I am an adult and the teenagers are kids - most likely just bored kids who listen well enough to adults when they are supposed to. Ask them to move in a kind but authoritative manner (e.g. Could you please move, it's time for the little ones to have a turn).
I also had success recently with getting my 5 year old to ask with me standing close by - I think the teenager heard me tell my daughter to ask him if she could have a turn on the swing and then waited for her to ask. Then the whole group moved off the swings for a while.
Like the good book says, Bad company corrupts good character -- avoid the playground and build one in your backyard, which neighbor kids can share -- exposing your kids to a plethora of curse words and lewd behavior will not serve them well in their adult lives -- do you know anyone who rose through the ranks for having a foul mouth or dressing whorishly -- ok, other than Hollywood celebrities?
Not uncomfortable with self-defense....There is a difference however between self-defense and threatening (your word not mine) kids at a public playground.
So you believe just carrying your cell-phone is threatening someone?
Ok - never mind.... you just have no idea what you're talking about. I never brought up cell phones OR weapons. I never used the word threaten, except to quote YOU; I was always taught not to use a weapon to threaten unless you were prepared to actually use it. And "just carrying" a weapon would not make anyone "more polite" unless they knew you had it - thus the need to "flash" the weapon......
So anyway.....
Last edited by maciesmom; 06-29-2009 at 10:02 AM..
The answer to both of your latter questions is yes. A playground is for smaller kids, and the equipment is geared for smaller kids. Once the kids become older (some playgrounds will have signs saying the equipment is for children 5-12 or in that general range), they need to find something else to do rather than hang at a playground. Especially if they are sitting on equipment that they are too big for, and preventing smaller children from using it. Especially if they are disruptive and vandalizing and misusing the equipment. This issue has nothing to do with unfair perceptions of teenagers. It has to do with teen-agers who are acting disruptive. I don't think the original post comes off as viewing teens as monsters.
I agree that older kids should not be on playground equipment that is meant for small children, but what do you think is an appropriate hangout for teenagers? I worked in strip malls when I was in college, and we hated the roving groups of bored teens hanging out in front of our stores. There was a thread several weeks ago where many people complained about teenagers cruising the malls. Where exactly are these kids supposed to go? Lots of kids' parents work, so it's often not possible for kids to hang out with their friends at their own houses. And of course there's the complaint right now that too many kids just sit indoors all day and play video games. Not everybody can afford to send their kids to camp during the summer, and when they are teenagers, they really shouldn't have to.
These kids are outside and not loitering at shopping malls. Yes, smoking is bad, and yes, littering is bad. No question. But I think that kids need a place to congregate and I see nothing wrong their doing it at a park. Swearing is offensive, but not illegal. Like other people have said, I've found that a little adult intervention usually does the trick--"Hey, guys, do you mind watching the language? My kids can hear you" or "Could you guys please move over? My son can't get to the slide. Thanks" will probably work fine.
The cops might do something about the smoking or if there is real troublemaking going on, like littering or vandalism. I doubt they want to chase the kids away, because they'll just alight somewhere that's more of a nuisance like a parking lot. or in front of a 7-Eleven. The park belongs to everybody. It's not private property.
That in between age is a difficult one. Too old for some things, too young to find a job (even in a good economy, it is difficult for many teens under 16 to find jobs - actually, many places won't hire until 18 anymore....). No one home to haul them around so they go to where they can walk to....
I get tense in these situations but I try to remember that I am an adult and the teenagers are kids - most likely just bored kids who listen well enough to adults when they are supposed to. Ask them to move in a kind but authoritative manner (e.g. Could you please move, it's time for the little ones to have a turn).
I also had success recently with getting my 5 year old to ask with me standing close by - I think the teenager heard me tell my daughter to ask him if she could have a turn on the swing and then waited for her to ask. Then the whole group moved off the swings for a while.
I totally agree.
We visited some family in Des Moines recently and visited a large park. There were a couple of big kids who appeared to be monopolizing the swings, not even swinging on them, but throwing the seats high into the air. My aunt and grandmother were tsk-tsking to one another and a couple of the other moms about how it was such a shame that the big kids had "taken over." My younger children wanted to swing, so I went over to talk to the boys. I had my "kind but authoritative" face on, as you say. Turned out the swings had been wrapped around the upper pole a few times, and the boys were UNDOING it. They were trying to be helpful. One of them disappeared to find a big stick so we could unhook one of the swings (one of the chains had been caught on a bolt, so it wasn't level), while the other pushed my son on the swing so I could push my daughter.
Ok - never mind.... you just have no idea what you're talking about. I never brought up cell phones OR weapons. I never used the word threaten, except to quote YOU; I was always taught not to use a weapon to threaten unless you were prepared to actually use it. And "just carrying" a weapon would not make anyone "more polite" unless they knew you had it - thus the need to "flash" the weapon......
So anyway.....
You were the one who implied that simply carrying a weapon equals flashing equals threatening.
My point was simply to point out one option when facing a large group of people who you might come into conflict with. That large group of rowdy teens can be very intimidating. There are tools and methods to minimize that potential threat. I certainly did not intend to provoke you into such a passionate reaction.
Yes, I do get testy when "adults" discuss threatening/harming/shooting kids. Sorry, that's just me I guess.
So, in other words, your weapon, legally concealed in your purse or carried on your person would automatically invoke "respect" because people would just know you had it without you showing it or bringing it up? Great. NOW I understand completely.
ETA - I have nothing in the world against weapons provided they are used properly, in the right circumstance. Threatening kids at a park is not one of those times. Now, if said kids violently attack someone and you are there, that is another story all together but that is not what is being discussed here.
It is a shame that many kids have nowhere to go during the day in the summer. I would think that camp or summer recreational classes or going to the local community center would be the best bet. They could volunteer somewhere if they can't get a job. I spent a couple of summers at a writing camp when I was a teen. I certainly wouldn't want my 14 y.o. hanging out all day w/o supervision while I work. I agree that there should be more activities for them.
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