Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here's an idea...be assertive and smack them on the behind. Or is that too cruel? You wouldn't want your kids to mind you and learn how to behave. It seems to me that they are taking advantage of you. If you have no authority whom are they to respect. You don't have to beat them and you should only have to do it once or twice. Open threats that are not acted upon are just going to lead to more problems as they get older. You may think people will be offended if you punish your child, but in reality they are offended by your misbehaving child.
there are idiots out there that would report you for child abuse if you did this in public...so be careful about that approach...even if their claims are totally unfounded, your family can be put through the ringer while the claim is being investigated.
Every child is different - just as every parent is. One aversive works great with one kid, yet has no effect on a sibling. So you find something else. I spanked my older son (3 or 4 times) but not the younger. It wasn't me, but my kids who determined what worked. I used a swat on the butt as an attention-grabber. I actually preferred "the look" and it worked very well for a number of years. I still have it all these years later and was actually yelled at by a "parent" who didn't like seeing me look at her child AND HER that way. It was in a crowded store, I allowed her to rant, then spoke calmly to her saying that she must have a guilty conscious for not doing her job as a parent in teaching her child how to behave.
I'm not sure what why you would mind someone else's business and feel the need to give looks to a parent and child that you don't even know because even though you felt the child was not behaving properly and the parent did not do her job, you have no idea what is going on with a stranger and their children. That is really sad that you feel the need to instigate trouble and make problems for someone who is already in a stressful situation, than when ranted at in return you sarcastically tell this perfect stranger she must have a guilty conscious for not doing her job as a parent in teaching her child how to behave. You have no idea if this person's children are autistic or even if it is that person's child or if they are babysitting ect, nor is it your business.
It's a shame there are so many nosy people who think they are so perfect and find it amusing to give strangers and their children looks in the store like that when they have no clue. you should be embarrassed for YOUR behavior.
1. Go Early in the morning, like 7 am. Take the kids, they are more likely to listen and behave when there is less distratction in the store, and they are not over tired.
2. Each one should have his/her "leave the house backpack" that is packed with a small toy, juice box, and crackers. That way, you don't buy anything for them, and they know if they are hungry, thirsty, want a toy, it is from the backpack.
3. make sure you are not tired, and you are relaxed (tall order when you are a single mom, I know).
I'm not sure what why you would mind someone else's business and feel the need to give looks to a parent and child that you don't even know because even though you felt the child was not behaving properly and the parent did not do her job, you have no idea what is going on with a stranger and their children. That is really sad that you feel the need to instigate trouble and make problems for someone who is already in a stressful situation, than when ranted at in return you sarcastically tell this perfect stranger she must have a guilty conscious for not doing her job as a parent in teaching her child how to behave. You have no idea if this person's children are autistic or even if it is that person's child or if they are babysitting ect, nor is it your business.
It's a shame there are so many nosy people who think they are so perfect and find it amusing to give strangers and their children looks in the store like that when they have no clue. you should be embarrassed for YOUR behavior.
Anyone making a scene in public - whether themselves, their children, dogs or whatever is making their problems everyone's business.
If a parent cannot control and properly discipline their child then they have the option of babysitters. As far as single mothers, that too was a decision they made and to have unruly poorly behaved children and want to impose them on everyone else makes it everyone's business, they allow their children to be public nuisances and it's cruel to take an autistic child into a crowded store just to provoke melt-downs. That's a selfish parent that puts her "needs" to shop until she drops ahead of a child that is freaking out.
here is one for you . Pack a ruler in your purse and let them see you do it . Then tell them if they misbehave you will take them to the ladies room and use it on them . My mom had what we referred to as the parking lot talk . In other words before we entered that store my mother would tell us remember what I have in my purse , it will be used if you misbehave in the store . none of us acted up because I knew my mom meant business . some kids you just have to show you mean business then they get it . well good luck hope I helped .
Perhaps you have to just stop taking them to the store for awhile. I know its easier said than done and sometimes logistically impossible, but I went through a phase like that with mine.
I just stopped taking them to the store, I worked around it. I did that for about 2-3 months, then they started behaving again. Sometimes you just have to break the cycle.
Also, try taking them to different stores, even if it means driving a ways.
As far as single mothers, that too was a decision they made
While I think kids that are making a fuss need to be taken aside and dealt with, I don't think the OP ever told us why she is a single mom.
Perhaps she is a widow. Perhaps her husband up and left her for someone else. Perhaps her husband just up and left. Let's not go to the place where we are blaming Mom for being single, since we don't know how she became single.
I'm not sure what why you would mind someone else's business and feel the need to give looks to a parent and child that you don't even know because even though you felt the child was not behaving properly and the parent did not do her job, you have no idea what is going on with a stranger and their children. That is really sad that you feel the need to instigate trouble and make problems for someone who is already in a stressful situation, than when ranted at in return you sarcastically tell this perfect stranger she must have a guilty conscious for not doing her job as a parent in teaching her child how to behave. You have no idea if this person's children are autistic or even if it is that person's child or if they are babysitting ect, nor is it your business.
It's a shame there are so many nosy people who think they are so perfect and find it amusing to give strangers and their children looks in the store like that when they have no clue. you should be embarrassed for YOUR behavior.
^^^ Sounds like a parent who gets lots of looks.
We were out at a casual dining restaurant this weekend when a kid started screaming...I mean SCREAMING at the top of his lungs, shouting at his dad, eventually throwing his shoes. Uh, yeah. As the dad was trying to sheepishly cajole the little terror there were LOTS of parents and even other kids who were throwing all sorts of looks (the fit went on for a good 10 minutes). Some even wondered out loud if it wasn't time to take the boy home. We were all paying to be there and the price didn't include having to endure bratty temper tantrums. If the dad had wanted the episode to be 'private' or not to suffer the glares of other 'nosy' patrons he would have taken the kid to the bathroom or outside instead of staying in the middle of the restaurant where we could all see and hear.
OP, you'll have to work on finding the right balance between positive and negative reinforcement in order to get the behavior you want. Talk to them at home before you go out and make the next few trips short so they can easily be successful. Make sure they know the consequences for bad behavior before you go and stick to it.
Well I went grocery shopping and everything went smooth. YEAH!! I went through the sales ads (everything based on those) friday night and cut out all the stuff I was buying that had pictures then posted them on paper for the kids to look for them. They each had stuff from all the different sections of the store I was going through so they were looking the whole time. THANK YOU for the advice. It is greatly appreciated.
I have one trick that also works well and has worked well for years. My kids (5 and 7) are usually good through a store but get fidgity and whiney at the check out. That's when I play the statue game. I have the kids compete to see who can stand the most still and quiet in a pose like a statue until times up. Two or three "games" holds my kids attention long enough for me to load everything on the belt and pay (unless the line is terribly long).
Sometimes I even have my kids play the game with another kid acting up near by. I can't tell you how well this works - I'm often amazed myself although I think my 7 year old is starting to catch on!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
