Parents who lose their kids because of drug use: Trash? or Victims? (custody, support)
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Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
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My husband and I got into a debate on parents who lose their kids (as in, Child Protective Services takes them) because the parents are druggies. I told him that I think anyone who chooses drugs over their kids and has them taken away because of their drug use are losers/white trash. He says it's not that simple--drugs have a hold on these people. I say drug use is a weakness, and it's the people who have never touched them who deserve praise, not the ones who took them for 30 years and are "sober" now. I've never done drugs and as a result I do not have much sympathy for those who do. This "victim" excuse doesn't work for me. I can't believe someone would put drugs ahead of their own kids and risk losing them!
What do you think?
Last edited by 2goldens; 10-25-2009 at 06:01 AM..
Reason: Moved from Other Topics
I'm in your corner. Yes drugs DO take hold of a person and can at times be impossible to break that grasp, but on the other hand, why give them the chance to get ahold of you in the first place? Drugs over children = total dumbass losers.
While I agree that anyone who decides to use drugs is making a huge mistake the same thing can be said of a lot of other decisions. Alcohol use (do you know anyone who set out to be an alcoholic?), infidelity, putting career before your family, all of these can tear families apart and do damage to young children. Anyone who recognizes he has a problem and wants help has my support not praise.
Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
1,113 posts, read 3,494,787 times
Reputation: 1176
Quote:
Originally Posted by studedude
While I agree that anyone who decides to use drugs is making a huge mistake the same thing can be said of a lot of other decisions. Alcohol use (do you know anyone who set out to be an alcoholic?), infidelity, putting career before your family, all of these can tear families apart and do damage to young children. Anyone who recognizes he has a problem and wants help has my support not praise.
IA, but CPS doesn't take away your kids because of infidelity or workaholicism.
No one "sets out" to be a druggie or alky, but there comes a time to grow up and stop blaming everybody for your "victim" status. Using drugs or alcohol as a crutch is a weakness.
There's a reverse side to this story and it can be told right here in my own family.
My son in law and daughter have adopted the child of his brother who was taken from him because of drug use. While the brother and his wife may be sorry low-lifes for chosing dope over their own son, my son in law and daughter are really special human beings for stepping up and saving that little boy's life.
There's a reverse side to this story and it can be told right here in my own family.
My son in law and daughter have adopted the child of his brother who was taken from him because of drug use. While the brother and his wife may be sorry low-lifes for chosing dope over their own son, my son in law and daughter are really special human beings for stepping up and saving that little boy's life.
Good can come from even the worst circumstances.
Hats off to your Son in Law and your Daughter!
This also shows that out of the same household can come both a diamond and a turd. It depends on the individuals choices and priorities.
This is a sad question, but if every child was moved from homes that had regular drug use in it....where would they all go???? There are just that many messed up people out there.
IA, but CPS doesn't take away your kids because of infidelity or workaholicism.
No one "sets out" to be a druggie or alky, but there comes a time to grow up and stop blaming everybody for your "victim" status. Using drugs or alcohol as a crutch is a weakness.
At the risk of sounding like the preacher I am. Because CPS doesn't remove kids it does not mean that their lives are not just as messed up by a parent who leaves and then gets involved in a long court battle for custody, or an absentee father or mother who is barely acquainted with their children because of time spent trying to get ahead at work.
Drugs and alcohol are a crutch but so is running to someone else when things get a little rocky or having to prove to everyone that you are best even if it takes all your waking hours.
This also shows that out of the same household can come both a diamond and a turd. It depends on the individuals choices and priorities.
Yes, it does show that and it's unclear why, isn't it?
Obviously, I'm intensly proud of them both and their actions highlight something very germain to this discussion: While it's easy to cast aspersions and call people names for the things they do, it's better to do what you can to salvage whatever is salvageable.
Pigeon-holing people into categories, rather than trying to help, does nothing more than feed our own ego. It does nothing at all to solve the problem.
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