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A little background. My daughter turned 4 today. She is 43" tall and weighs 54lbs. She is a big girl, has been since the day she was born. When you look at her though she's not chubby, she's just solid and seems to be in proportion to herself. When we buy her clothing they always fit her in the height and width so I just thought she was bigger than most kids and didn't worry about her weight...She is built just like her father.
Anyway she goes to an at home daycare 3 days a week, has been going to the same place for 2 years. We will call the daycare provider "Alice" Last night when I picked her up she was sad, this is very unusual as she's a very happy energetic child! I asked her what was wrong and she just gave me a hug, put her boots and jacket on and we left. At dinner she was quiet and didn't eat very much - she just kind pushed her food around. Last night before reading stories at bedtime I asked her how her day was and she burst into tears saying "Alice" said I'm fat! She was hysterical for over 20 minutes. I thought I heard her wrong and asked her to tell me again. I am in utter disbelief that a daycare provider or anyone for that matter would tell a 4yr old girl that they're fat!!
So my question is...what do I do? Do I confront "Alice"? Do I pull her from daycare? I am so angry and hurt. If "alice" thinks my daughter has a weight issue she should talk to ME about it, not call a 4yr old fat! Now I'm also starting to question what I'm feeding her and thinking well maybe she is heavy, should I start pushing more veggies than I already do and start reducing her portions? I dont want her to have weight issues or to even have to worry about her weight. I never did as a child but after having my daughter I've struggled a little to get back to my pre-baby size and firmness! I know how troubling it can be.
You should ask Alice about it, but expect that her story won't exactly match your daughter's.
As far as your daughter's size, what percentile height and weight is she in? Has the doctor ever expressed any concern over this? That should be your guide as far as the health of your daughter, not what anyone else thinks.
I would ask the doctor what they think about your child's weight.
I know plenty of bigger built kids who were "chubby" at 4 and thinned out usually by the age of 6 or 7.
I wouldn't worry to much about it unless your doctor is concerned.
So my question is...what do I do? Do I confront "Alice"? Do I pull her from daycare? I am so angry and hurt. If "alice" thinks my daughter has a weight issue she should talk to ME about it, not call a 4yr old fat!
You should have a talk with the provider. Make sure you have alternative daycare just in case it doesn't go well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by housingnightmare
Now I'm also starting to question what I'm feeding her and thinking well maybe she is heavy, should I start pushing more veggies than I already do and start reducing her portions? I dont want her to have weight issues or to even have to worry about her weight.
Your daughter is overweight. I don't know a nicer way to say it. She might be sturdy like her dad, and she might not look chubby. However, looking chubby can happen over night for children who are overweight.
I'm speaking from experience. My son was always a big kid. He was 12 pounds at birth. He didn't look fat at 4 years old, but he was over the 95th percentile like your daugher. He continued to look sturdy and healthy, not fat, all the way until about 11 or 12 years old. SUDDENLY he was fat. I swear it was overnight. He LOOKED fat. His stomach had lumps of fat that looked like cellulite! Oh, and that's the WORST age to be fat for a child---just entering puberty. It's SO HARD for them to lose it because they have ingrained eating and excersise habits. (He ate healthy meals and was always involved in sports, but I allowed too many snacks like ice cream to be in the house.) You almost have to WAIT OUT A GROWTH spurt at that point which can take a couple of years. He ended up growing super fast and gained 8 inches in 3 months. Then he wasn't fat anymore.
It's best if you can avoid that happening by getting things under control now. I'm not saying put your daughter on a diet. Absolutely not. That will make her insecure about her weight. I'm saying put the entire family on a healthy eating by changing your lifestyle and the type of food you bring into the house for everyone to eat. And get her active. Get her involved in sports as soon as she can.
I would ask the doctor what they think about your child's weight.
I know plenty of bigger built kids who were "chubby" at 4 and thinned out usually by the age of 6 or 7.
I wouldn't worry to much about it unless your doctor is concerned.
That was me. I was a bit chubby in first grade and then became super thin---still am today.
But my mother was a nurse and she always fed us very healthy meals and we were always very active.
The OP has already indicated that she knows the menus and lifestyle aren't ideal.
Nobody needs to talk to a doctor to decide to have healthy eating habits.
There is NOTHING wrong with instilling healthy eating habits in a family.
Healthy eating habits at a young age can promote a healthy lifestyle as an adult.
I'm not saying don't allow ice cream and cookies, just not regularly.
(Definitely don't restrict junk food when it's in the house---that will cause eating disorders. Just buy them less often!)
Healthy eating doesn't mean a bland diet. For example, sweet treats can be strawberries with cream or bananas with honey.
I guarantee a child will feel more special to have something like that served to them too! (Of course, adjust menu ideas with the likes of each child.)
They say that a picky eater will try something after it's been served to them 10 times.
If you want smaller serving sizes, buy new dishes that are smaller for the entire family!
Your daughter is overweight. I don't know a nicer way to say it. She might be sturdy like her dad, and she might not look chubby. However, looking chubby can happen over night for children who are overweight.
How on earth can you tell this from a post on the internet? I certainly can't...nowhere did I see where the OP indicated they did not have healthy eating habits or lack of exercise. I think a lot more issues can happen by calling a 4 y.o. "fat".....
How on earth can you tell this from a post on the internet?
It's easy. I calculated it based on gender, age, height and weight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
I certainly can't...nowhere did I see where the OP indicated they did not have healthy eating habits or lack of exercise.
Maybe you didn't read her entire post. She is concerned that she should be feeding more vegetables and watching serving sizes.
And I never said the OP said her daughter didn't excercise. I merely was providing a well rounded answer as to what constitutes a healthy lifestyle when it comes to weight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
I think a lot more issues can happen by calling a 4 y.o. "fat".....
I never said that anyone should call anyone fat. I told the OP to talk to the provider. The child should not be exposed to adults that call her fat.
However, the OP is not going to be able to prevent elementary school children from calling her fat. It will happen. There's a difference between overweight and fat. One is big. The other actually has lumps. But try telling elementary classmates the difference.
The OP is right to be concerned about her daughter's weight. I'm not saying that the girl should become super thin. I'm saying that the OP has a right to be concerned and that she should do everything she can to prevent her daughter from progressing to the next level. There is NOTHING WRONG with healthy eating and excersise.
OP - talk to Alice. There is a problem if your child got the impression she was called fat.
I think speaking to the pediatrician is a FINE thing to recommend. You know, someone with a medical degree who can assess the child's actual ht/wt ratio, genetic factors, etc and calm mom's fears....or realistically address the issue with mom.
It is never a bad thing for a family to add steps to their day or make healthy food choices. But I would hate for a 4 year old to end up with body image issues.
Maybe you didn't read her entire post. She is concerned that she should be feeding more vegetables and watching serving sizes
I actually DID read the post....she said perhaps she should push them MORE than she already does...and just because she thought she should watch serving sizes (which could mean they eat too much OR it could be simply a reaction to someone calling her daughter "fat" - we don't know) doesn't in itself indicate an unhealthy lifestyle.....Perhaps they do, perhaps they don't. We don't know the size of her family either....some children are more "solid" looking at a younger age then sprout up - doesn't ALWAYS indicate poor eating habits, unhealthy lifestyle or an overweight child....I think, if the OP is concerned, a discussion with her pediatrician is in order. The pediatrician who knows the family, is familiar with the child and her history.
No one ever said healthy eating was wrong.
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Now I'm also starting to question what I'm feeding her and thinking well maybe she is heavy, should I start pushing more veggies than I already do and start reducing her portions? I dont want her to have weight issues or to even have to worry about her weight. I never did as a child but after having my daughter I've struggled a little to get back to my pre-baby size and firmness! I know how troubling it can be.
