Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Truthfully every marriage out there started with a I'll love and be with you forever. Realistically that it doesn't always happen. She may have assets she wants to protect. He may too. It doesn't mean I dont care for that person. It's simply being realistic that if it doesn't work out I don't want to be financially raped in court and lose what I work so hard for. Marriage is peaches and cream until it isn't.
Lots of marriages fail. If it doesn't then thecprenup is never used so it doesn't make a difference.
If there was a 50% chance of totaling your vehicle in an accident or suffering through a natural disaster, would you not insist on strong insurance, despite the fact that you're a great driver or live in a great location and don't think anything will happen? Well, the rate of divorce is around 50% overall. Would it not be helpful to have a plan in place in case something happens?
That being said, prenups themselves aren't really strong, in many cases, they're treated more as a suggestion than as any sort of binding agreement, especially when there's kids and custody battle involved. I'd hesitate to call them useless, but probably provides a false sense of security. SO kind of a moot point, to be honest.
---------------------
to delve further into why women tend not to want prenups in place:
The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women
marriages nowadays are considered "no-fault", so you can divorce without a good reason, and if you were cheating or otherwise behaving badly in the marriage, not held against you
women like to "marry up", so asset division and alimony cases usually go against men
women get custody of the kids the majority of the time, so they also benefit from child support
Women know all of this, and are comforted by the fact that "in case something happens or they want out of the marriage", they're more likely to be on the winning side of a divorce, so are loathe to sign any agreement that may negate this advantage.
If one party is set on a prenup, and the other isn't, and they can't work it out, then they should not marry.
Also in Texas, your money that you have before marriage is not touchable by divorce unless you co-mingle it. So, if you run into someone like myself, who would never sign one, no worries. Just don't co-mingle the funds, and you are safe.
easier said than done. Say you have a property that your parents handed down to you. You get married, your partner makes some payments on the property through their own or through a joint account, property taxes, repairs, mortgage payments, etc ;your property is effectively comingled, and likely part of the divorce proceedings should that occur. Same with retirement or other accounts.
Consult your local attorney, do not trust the advice of a random guy on the internet but the best way to avoid commingling assets is if your property or investment funds are held in a trust. You can have an investment property in the trust name, a bank account in the trust name, investment accounts in the trust name, all payments made and income received is in the trust name, so in divorce, the paper trail will show it obviously is a separate entity and the assets were not comingled. Note that if you pull assets out of the trust, it will likely be considered part of marital property.
I understand some couples do keep everything separate, but if you're married, honestly that's pretty difficult to do, especially since being married supposedly entails "better or worse, bla bla bla", keeping everything separate kinda goes against all that.
easier said than done. Say you have a property that your parents handed down to you. You get married, your partner makes some payments on the property through their own or through a joint account, your property is effectively comingled, and likely part of the divorce proceedings should that occur. Same with retirement or other accounts
I understand some couples do keep everything separate, but if you're married, honestly that's pretty difficult to do, especially since being married supposedly entails "better or worse, bla bla bla", keeping everything separate kinda goes against all that.
Why would a spouse, or anyone, make payments on a property that's already paid for, and has been inherited? There's no mortgage to make payments on.
to delve further into why women tend not to want prenups in place:
The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women
marriages nowadays are considered "no-fault", so you can divorce without a good reason, and if you were cheating or otherwise behaving badly in the marriage, not held against you
women like to "marry up", so asset division and alimony cases usually go against men
women get custody of the kids the majority of the time, so they also benefit from child support
Women know all of this, and are comforted by the fact that "in case something happens or they want out of the marriage", they're more likely to be on the winning side of a divorce, so are loathe to sign any agreement that may negate this advantage.
If one party is set on a prenup, and the other isn't, and they can't work it out, then they should not marry.
my .02
Women who have assets want prenups, you'd better believe! Women do have prenups drawn up, for their partners to sign before marriage. However, in some states that's not necessary, because any assets owned before the marriage don't figure in the divorce. In any case, most divorces are settled out of court, and don't result in a nasty court case. If there's a jointly-owned home, the couple either sells it and splits the proceeds, or one partner buys out the other's interest. The type of nightmare scenario males on relationship forums like to rail about are a low percentage of the total.
In case anyone's interested, here's an article providing advice to a woman regarding using a trust to protect her assets in divorce. Note that trusts can also protect your assets in event of lawsuit. Listed out some points below.
-Assets placed in a trust established before marriage are typically treated as separate property.
-You do not need the approval of your fiancé (or anyone else, for that matter) to set one up.
-Because once you have established a trust, the trust, and not you, would legally own your separate property, including your company.
-In some states, assets placed in a discretionary trust are also not considered as belonging to the beneficiary for the purpose of calculating alimony
-Recently divorced women can use trusts and other techniques to protect their post-divorce assets from lawsuits and creditors.
Why would a spouse, or anyone, make payments on a property that's already paid for, and has been inherited? There's no mortgage to make payments on.
capital improvements, major repairs, real property taxes, etc.
----
and you're assuming the inherited property is fully paid for. What if it had $100k mortgage balance on it, and you needed to open a heloc to pay off the existing mortgage. If the spouse helps make those payments, they may have valid claim to the house as well.
Women who have assets want prenups, you'd better believe! Women do have prenups drawn up, for their partners to sign before marriage. However, in some states that's not necessary, because any assets owned before the marriage don't figure in the divorce. In any case, most divorces are settled out of court, and don't result in a nasty court case. If there's a jointly-owned home, the couple either sells it and splits the proceeds, or one partner buys out the other's interest. The type of nightmare scenario males on relationship forums like to rail about are a low percentage of the total.
In my post, I stated that " women like to "marry up", so asset division and alimony cases usually go against men", so the details of the post were in line with that statement. Of course, if the situation differed, and the woman didn't "marry up" and she was the one with the assets, she may be the one opting for the prenup, as you mentioned.
Fearing prenups isn't a female thing. To me, if anyone"fears" a prenup, they're usually broke or have less assets and would want a cushion just in case things go bad. I am definitely for them.
Prenups make good sense for some of us who have worked all of our life and may have a little nest egg.why should a spouse new on the scene think she or he is entitled to half of this money? I'm sure it happens all the time. A mistake in a relationship shouldn't cost you half of what you saved all your life.
Simple genetics. Humans in general like variety and marriage isn't really genetically adaptable with our drives especially for the boring men who aren't super funny or exciting. It makes sense for men to protect their assets if they're going to get in a binding contract... In case she gets bored and needs to "find herself" (code for get nailed hard by an exciting guy she meets in a dive bar)
Men are far from perfect, too. It works both ways....
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-01-2017 at 12:50 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
