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Sigh...I was raised by druggies who handed me off to alcoholics. Half of my SAT (the math half) was almost 780.
I know it's depressingly low, and that's why I assert that if I can succeed, someone with a 780 SAT, then ANYONE can.....but they HAVE to have the right attitude and work ethic. That's the secret to success.
Make any assumptions you like. I don't know you, nor you me. I have no idea what your life's path has been, nor you mine (even with the short list I posted). We make choices due to situations. Just because a choice "often" leads to something, often does not equal always. It's been a calculated approach to life taken, and one of the things that had to give to get to today was finances. So be it.
The problem is that women do have a biological clock. Fertility for women drops rapidly after age 35.
I was 24 when I had my first, but I live in an upper middle class neighborhood where many parents waited (by choice and not by choice) to have their first kid in their mid-30's. I know several that were 36+ to have their first and a few were in their 40's Most are in their early 50's now and have kids in elementary school or middle school whereas I'm still in my 30's.
I had a conversation about retirement plans the other day... and let's just say, I think the other mom (age 52) was feeling anxious about it. I had been talking about how we intend to buy a 3 bedroom house/condo when we leave the neighborhood in case one of the kids needs to live with us in his 20's, which is becoming more and more common. I was speaking about how just because they turn 18 and might go off to college, these days there is no promise that they'll be on their own, and in fact, returning home might give young adults an edge if it means they can save some money. In other words: the kids may still need help. This woman totally saw the logic in my words, but she and I did the mental math and this meant that she would still be mothering in her mid to later 60's, the age when many individuals are hoping to edge near retirement or retire all together. She hadn't considered this.
When my kids are in their 20's I'll be in my later 40's and early 50's. By the time I hit my mid-60's my oldest will be near 40. Collectively we have more time, a whole extra decade even, to be productive and build family wealth. I have more time to help my kids as a middle-aged adult while also having time to make sure I've got my retirement funds/plan worked out. I think that can be a great benefit. Not one that gets talked about that much... THEN I have more time to be a useful grandparent if that comes to be... if my kids are in their 30's when they have children then I will be in my late 50's and early 60's. Those that had kids in their late 30's and early 40's will be in their late 60's or 70's... maybe even older if the trend continues.
It does make a huge difference when you choose not to have kids. My husband and I made that choice and I'm not afraid to admit it. Some people on this forum (including some in this thread) act like those who don't have kids are somehow less worthy of being allowed in the discussion of finances.
There are a lot of people out there who, for one reason or another, do not have kids. They should be allowed to discuss finances as well. I thought it was pretty obvious from the OP that that was for just one person.
My first thought reading it was "of COURSE you can do that for just 1 person when you are making that much money". My husband and I combined make half what you do by yourself. And those are decently good wages for where we live. We save about half our gross income. But we don't have kids. If we did, we would not be able to save much, if any. But then I saw that you live in an expensive city, so your income vs cost of living might be roughly comparable to ours.
But to say "what else do people spend their money on" is just being willfully ignorant. Besides all the expenses that I'm sure you have that you didn't include on your list, which others have listed, most people do have kids, and kids are expensive. If you had said "How do people without kids NOT have any money" and "What else do single non-parents spend their money on?" that would have been more worthy of actual discussion.
My wife and I are DINKs and most likely won't have kids. Monetary reasons were certainly a factor in the choice but not the only factor. Having kids is a choice and if you choose to do it and have less money because of it that's your choice just as it is ours to have more money and no kids
There's NO REASON to not be at least Middle Class. I graduated with a 2.2 GPA in both college and high school, and I have a 7 figure net worth before the age of 50.
However, I'm the first one in the office, I do as my boss tells me, I don't complain about unimportant things, and I married a hard-working and honest woman. I don't do drugs and I keep my body and mind in shape.
I have very little sympathy for poor people.
I had similar in highschool but turned it around in college. Have worked for an idiot for many years who can make my blood boil and have watched many people simply throw up their arms and walk out. But my saint like patients comes with financial reward.
I've seen far too many people who make a fair wage and try to keep up with the jones if they realize it or not. I grew up and went on vacations, but it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I went out of the country, my family could never afford it so they never attempted it. There are college kids $150k in debt living at home who still feel traveling to the Caribbean so they can take selfies is a necessity.
Honestly, when are people going to say "FU" to the "consumer driven economy"? It's not serving us any more. When will we tire of serving it, or using it as some sort of warped justification for spending money we don't have on stuff we don't need that isn't making us or our kids happy?
Makes. No. Sense.
Couldn't agree more. There is an obsession with spending. In my neighborhood, most people can't even park in their garage because it is full of material things. Another thing I noticed is that there seems to be more self-storage facilities than churches.
Last edited by SoloforLife; 05-26-2017 at 03:30 PM..
Reason: add
If you really wonder why people in the US struggle, despite the OP's obvious success and Flashes1's success, I'd recommend reading "Hand to Mouth" by Linda Tirado.
Personally, I live comfortably but completely understand there are people in the US who try as hard as they can and they're still struggling. I get it. This thread just seems kind of mean-spirited.
Me too. Where has empathy gone?
How blind and closed minded do you have to be to not understand that not everyone is brought up under the best circumstance, not everyone can afford college, and not everyone makes enough to spend $600/month eating out and still save? And, really, how stupid do you have to be to spend $600/month eating out?
why is it embarassing? Embarassing to whom and why? People regularly post numbers in this forum, it's the Personal Finance forum in case you haven't been following. It's amazing that people think I am wealthy, I am actually poor, I live in Southern California - a place with astonishing wealth... people around me drive Range Rovers, live in million dollar homes, wear $300 jeans etc. and you're telling me that I am rich? I don't do those things and neither can I afford to so give me a break!
Apparently you don't know what poor means. It means going to the food bank because your pantry is empty, and having to walk or take the bus because you don't have a car or motorcycle.
If you stopped eating out, you could afford 2 $300 pairs of jeans every month.
And I bet the vast majority of those things are self inflicted. People who don't make good decisions, keep their minds and bodies in good shape, exhibit poor judgment, have poor work ethic and attitude, etc. etc.
This is America. There's a whole sea of money just waiting to be plucked out there---but you got to play the game the right way to get it.
You're delusional.
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Another thing I noticed is that there seems to be more self-storage facilities than churches.
