Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We hear a lot from guys how hot and attractive the women are in the Valley of the sun but let’s talk about the men.
I’m 30F and single, have a decent-paying job and reasonably attractive. I’d like to meet a nice looking gentleman with a decent job himself. I prefer white-collar guys who dress nice, not necessarily suit and tie but better than t-shirts, jeans, shorts, or sandals.
I know this is going to be a long post, it might come across a bit judgmental but I’m prepared for some reaction. From my perspective the quality of single available men around my age is awful around here and not at all to my liking. Let me explain.
I belong to a gym and go out on occasion with friends but I’m not heavily into the club or bar scene. Sometimes I get approached by guys but their appearance and personality are never to my liking. Most of them are covered in tattoos or piercings and are really un-gentleman like in their approach. None of them are very nice dressers and some of them look like street bums. Even with these bad qualities some of them still act conceited, especially some guys I've seen in the gym.
Then there’s the kind of cars they drive like the huge lifted trucks, and they somehow they think it looks cool. I have news for the guys who drive those behemoths, you’re not cool and you’re not attractive!
I have an on line profile and I met a few guys in the area but they seem to be as bad or worse than meeting them off line.
Case in point, a few months ago I went out with a guy I met on line who seemed nice and reasonably attractive in his profile, but when we met he was dressed in dirty work clothes and said he didn’t have time to shower. He tried to be a gentleman but he ruined it by belching out loud and we both knew we weren’t connecting. There was no hostility but when he left I stuck around to see what kind of car he drove and you guessed it, it was a huge Ford F350 lifted pickup.
Is this bad quality of men my age commonplace in the Phoenix Valley or is it a growing trend all over America?
As a guy, I've noticed that trend. Some of the guys just love to step on it, make tons of noise and have thick black smoke come out of the tailpipe! It's pretty annoying but twice as annoying is the effects of air pollution! It's not helping. Not sure what's the whole deal with the trucks are. Maybe a way to feel manly? I just don't get it but I drive a Prius myself and look silly and small in comparison to them but at the end of the day, my bank account will be the one laughing.
You listed a whole lot of things you're not into but what are you actually into? I met my love doing something we both love, at a concert of all places. We both share an interest in music and it still keeps us fascinated to this day, we've traveled to quite a few cities to see our favorite bands in amazing musical venues. We also share interests in the outdoors and quite a few other things.
Most of my friends in successful marriages have found a partner they share passions with, go do what it is you love to do and I'm sure someone will come along. I'd also say don't be overly shy about saying hi to a guy if he is of interest. The guys running up to hit on you probably aren't the ones you're looking for long term, just saying. The relationship focused guys like me probably don't have the best game in the world
Dating seems to suck everywhere but you're in a city that pulls in people from literally everywhere, so chances are there's a guy for you out there but he's probably not on tinder, or whatever the latest website is.
Not really fair to blame this on California. Most of these guys were born and raised here.
Yep!!!
I dated a guy from Phoenix (born and raised) and both he and all of his friends fit the "bro" stereotype. To them, I was the "weird" "stuck up", "organic chick" from California who didn't smoke. I think I stood out most because I didn't smoke like all of the other "chicks" they knew.
Dating him for six months, I'd come to PHX on weekends and find myself in douchebag-oriented bars from Friday night through Sunday morning. He lived in Chandler and worked at a call center during the week and tried to act like a "baller" in Scottsdale come weekends and I just didn't see much of a future in that.
He wasn't a bad guy, just way too much of a culture difference for me!
Now, there's always the option of joining the Mormon/LDS church and living in Mesa or Gilbert, which will change your pool of guys a little...lol
Last edited by kttam186290; 03-20-2017 at 10:54 PM..
For the OP and others, I think sometimes all you can do is be yourself and keep your eyes open. Don't go where you think the men will be, go where you want to be and if there are any worthwhile men there, you'll notice them. If you have to go outside of what you really like or want to find a man, he's not going to be the kind of man you really truly want, anyway.
If you're open to it, I think church is a great place to meet quality men or women. Many churches have groups for younger adults or singles. People are going to be more polite and well-behaved when they have similar values and they know the same people you know and see you at church all the time. But, it's not the easiest necessarily depending on how many people are in that particular group, so I know it's not a guaranteed thing.
Personally, I met my wife at work which I think is a somewhat common way to meet one's spouse since two people working at the same place are somewhat more likely to have similar backgrounds/interests/etc. I like the idea of meeting someone at work because you've already seen them on good days and bad days, under pressure and during down time, and they're at work so if they're interested in you, it's probably a sincere interest since there are such high barriers to entry for most people in a professional setting to even consider dating a coworker given all the potential drawbacks if it doesn't work out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate4635
Online dating is garbage. Its lazy, and you will meet lazy people. Its the millennial "I don't know the answer so I'll google it" response to dating.
Girls aren't chasing the pizza delivery driver who dresses like he's 16... Cute well dressed career driven men are off getting married, what are you doing?
Bringing the heat, wow. Great response, Nate. I like your Google metaphor a lot. Some people do meet great people online but from the stories I've heard about personally, the people who do connect are the ones who spend the time to get to know each other and chat and talk a lot. My wife knows someone who met her husband through some video game thing and they were friends for years and so forth. I can see why that would work even though it's online because it developed organically. On the other hand I used to work with a guy who online-dated like it was his job...always sending messages, setting up dates, trying to meet new girls all the time. I don't even think he knew what he was looking for and I could never keep up with who he was seeing. To me it seemed really exhausting and kind of impersonal and I felt bad for all the girls who might have been looking for an actual potential husband.
Quote:
Originally Posted by locolife
You listed a whole lot of things you're not into but what are you actually into? I met my love doing something we both love, at a concert of all places. We both share an interest in music and it still keeps us fascinated to this day, we've traveled to quite a few cities to see our favorite bands in amazing musical venues. We also share interests in the outdoors and quite a few other things.
Most of my friends in successful marriages have found a partner they share passions with, go do what it is you love to do and I'm sure someone will come along. I'd also say don't be overly shy about saying hi to a guy if he is of interest. The guys running up to hit on you probably aren't the ones you're looking for long term, just saying. The relationship focused guys like me probably don't have the best game in the world
Dating seems to suck everywhere but you're in a city that pulls in people from literally everywhere, so chances are there's a guy for you out there but he's probably not on tinder, or whatever the latest website is.
Loco, another good post. This is a great anecdote. The problem with blind dates is that you don't know what you have in common so the odds aren't real great that you'll happen to have the same interests.
Last edited by ScottsdaleMark; 03-21-2017 at 07:16 AM..
Reason: added more text
Then there’s the kind of cars they drive like the huge lifted trucks, and they somehow they think it looks cool. I have news for the guys who drive those behemoths, you’re not cool and you’re not attractive!
Girls all say this until they get a ride in one, feel the torque, and go offroading on terrain that gets their adrenaline going.
Ill give you the benefit of the doubt that 75% of the lifted trucks here in the Valley are what we call "mall crawlers", "poser builds", "pavement pounders", etc, but don't discount the guys who actually use their rigs. They might look stupid to you, but form follows function. You need to understand and respect that.
To the OP, I'd say give some of those "not your type" guys a try. No, not the big-lifted-truck-because-my-you-know-what-is-small types, but other guys you thought would never be your type. You may be surprised at what you find. I met a guy that was someone that I thought I would NEVER date in a million years and it has been great. Of course we started out as friends and got to know each other that way. Trying to meet people with the sole purpose of becoming a couple is difficult.
I'd say check out meetup.com and join some groups. There are literally dozens of groups out there for every interest. You may meet a great guy that way, or even make some new girlfriends that might introduce you to someone down the road. It also seems to often be true that you will find someone when you stop actively looking, if that makes sense.
__________________
My posts as moderator will be in red.
As a guy, I've noticed that trend. Some of the guys just love to step on it, make tons of noise and have thick black smoke come out of the tailpipe! It's pretty annoying but twice as annoying is the effects of air pollution! It's not helping. Not sure what's the whole deal with the trucks are. Maybe a way to feel manly? I just don't get it but I drive a Prius myself and look silly and small in comparison to them but at the end of the day, my bank account will be the one laughing.
Yes, black carbon emissions are bad. But coming from a Prius driver, you should know dang well that deforestation required to mine the materials for your batteries in your hybrid car, plus the digging and mining itself, and the transportation required to ship your Prius overseas is FAR more damaging to the environment than a kid who blows a puff of smoke every once in awhile. FAR more damaging. Industrial factories, deforestation, biomass cooking stoves, coal ovens, and aerosol, etc, is where the damage is occurring. Not Johnny in his lifted, diesel Duramax. Diesel engines are actually more fuel efficient than the conventional gas engine you have in your hybrid. You need to concentrate your efforts and silly agenda to where it really matters. And a big hint here: its NOT the few lifted trucks that "roll coal".
OP, I suggest you find guys who are knowledgeable on a subject before they chime in and look ridiculous. That would be a good start. I also suggest not tearing down and berating a guy because of his vehicle of choice. I mean, how unfair and biased is that? He might be the perfect guy for you, but you'd never give him the time of day because he drives a lifted truck? If guys did that to girls, we would NEVER date ANY of you, because most women's choice of vehicles (Civics, Camrys, Accords, Beetles, etc) is enough to make us fall asleep. Or laugh. Probably both.
No, not the big-lifted-truck-because-my-you-know-what-is-small types,
Ridiculous. Because guys wanna have a little fun in life with their vehicles means their wangs are small? Good grief some of the statements around here lately are just... wow.
That statement sounds as ridiculous as if I were to say that girls wear makeup because they're ugly and insecure.
See how stupid that sounds? Same goes for statements like "guys drive lifted trucks because they lack in the downstairs department."
Please, ladies, if you want to attract smart guys, don't say stupid things like that. Its a turnoff. We, just like girls, want to be able to carry on intelligent conversations, not dumb ourselves down by getting stuck with a girl who spews stereotypes and ignorant statements. Its a HUGE turnoff. Present yourself well, sound intelligent, dress smart, have ambition. That's sexier to a man than a bimbo with giant fake ta-ta's.
And before any of you start, I don't drive a lifted truck. In fact, I go the opposite route (I slam my cars down).
Ridiculous. Because guys wanna have a little fun in life with their vehicles means their wangs are small? Good grief some of the statements around here lately are just... wow.
That statement sounds as ridiculous as if I were to say that girls wear makeup because they're ugly and insecure.
See how stupid that sounds? Same goes for statements like "guys drive lifted trucks because they lack in the downstairs department."
Please, ladies, if you want to attract smart guys, don't say stupid things like that. Its a turnoff. We, just like girls, want to be able to carry on intelligent conversations, not dumb ourselves down by getting stuck with a girl who spews stereotypes and ignorant statements. Its a HUGE turnoff. Present yourself well, sound intelligent, dress smart, have ambition. That's sexier to a man than a bimbo with giant fake ta-ta's.
And before any of you start, I don't drive a lifted truck. In fact, I go the opposite route (I slam my cars down).
Amen
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I also suggest not tearing down and berating a guy because of his vehicle of choice. I mean, how unfair and biased is that? He might be the perfect guy for you, but you'd never give him the time of day because he drives a lifted truck? If guys did that to girls, we would NEVER date ANY of you, because most women's choice of vehicles (Civics, Camrys, Accords, Beetles, etc) is enough to make us fall asleep. Or laugh. Probably both.
