Severely disabled mother wins visitation rights (spend, articles, issues, own)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
the judgment that a blink does not make a good bond is not yours to make. it is also very possible that had these children been allowed regular access to their mother they would very well have some great memories of playing together in their mother's room. they have the right to be "together"
there are also laws that make sure grandparents get their visitation. so now you have 3 people that are allowed by law to see the kids, the grandparents and the mom.
if mom can "only blink" how do you assume the possibility she has selfish motives for wanting to see her children? selfish? what other better reason, they are her children.
lets say for a second you can't see your kids. do you need a better reason other than "you just miss and want to see your kids" or is that too selfish?
Actually, yes, it is selfish. If I have not seen my kids in years and just want to see them to satisfy my own wishes, that is the definition of selfishness.
All of you need to comprehend that parenting is not about owning your children. This mother does not own her children, and just being the mother does not entitle her to jack.
The sole guardian? I can understand that. Visitation rights? There's no reason why she can't have visitation rights.
All the stigma people have about disability comes from ADULTS, not kids. And it's imparted onto children by adults like the father.
Andrea doesn't seem to understand that there is a difference between what was being asked through the courts as far as visitation goes and "traditional visitation".
Study up on child psychology and get back to me. You are refusing to understand what I am saying, and I'm not going to go back and forth with you until you get it. Hint: It is NOT about the mother, it is about the welfare of the children.
These are all valid questions that none of us can answer:
How is she expressing love toward them?
How is she interacting with them?
How does she respond to their needs?
Can she comfort them if one of them is crying in her presence, as little kids often do?
If they are hungry, can she figure out what they are hungry for?
Are the children scared by her condition?
Do they fear for her in some way, like how she's going to die, or if she's in pain?
It says in the article that the kids have bonded with her already. Most of your questions make no sense as there are other adults around as well when they visit.
Yes, but you don't know how this affects the children mentally. I have worked with children who have been removed from broken homes, and you would not believe how intuitive children are. They pick up on EVERYTHING. The fact of the matter is that it may not be psychologically healthy for the children to visit with her. The interactions they have with her are likely not fulfilling and they may develop an unhealthy attachment to her. The early years are so important, psychologically speaking, and this could have a big impact on them. Again, I don't know the whole situation, but there is definitely another side that has apparently been looked over by the whole lot of you...the emotional health of the children. This is not about the mother, it is about the children. And that is why the father is not "vile" or whatever other adjectives that have been used to describe him in this thread.
Seeing a disabled person alone isn't mentally damaging to children. Like I said, if the mother were abusive or something because of her disability, the case would hold ground. But just because she's disabled? Like I said, disability doesn't have the same stigma for kids as it does adults. I hung out with kids all the time when I was deaf-blind and none of them cared. If anyone cared, it was always the parents. Having a disability doesn't have the inherent adverse psychological effect you seem to believe it does, especially if the children and mother are allowed to show their love for each other through just being together and being able to hold hands or hug or do the normal mother-child things.
Remember folks: the Father / ex-husband does have physical custody of the children (I would have let the Grandparents raise them )
I think it's an opportunity for him to grow/ evolve as a human being. I hope he embraces that challenge and makes himself a better man. I cannot blame his primal instincts anymore than I can blame a single mother struggling to feed her babies by participating in an economy not fit for a dog yet saddled with a belligerent spouse stealing the kids milk money. Clearly this goes far beyond behavioral issues that are willful and discerning the difference makes all the difference.
I would hope the grandparents and the father work together constructively in the best interests of the children, and ultimately the better interests of all. Extended family being in courtrooms is a red flag. Look how far from the greater good people stray when they indulge in abusing familial authority. The definition of family means far more than competing brands of affection bestowed upon children and the cultural overemphasis of individualism has been damaging to all parties concerned.
The mother cannot respond to the children other than blinking. Blinking does not a good bond make.
Also, children may unconditionally love by default. So maybe what the mother is wanting is for someone to still love her, after her husband left her (and not one of us could say what we would do in that situation, so it would help for the comments about the father to stop). Maybe the mother has selfish reasons for wanting the visitation, if that's even what she wants. It could be the grandparents wanting her to have visitation. WE DO NOT KNOW.
Wanting to be loved is selfish? I haven't met a single human being or animal or other sentient creature that hasn't wanted to be loved. In that case, every human, animal, plant and other living thing is "selfish."
Why do "children" continue to visit their old parents suffering from Alzheimers? They can't parent anymore, either... We shouldn't restrict human relationships to mere functions.
Nor do I understand exactly what kind of damage might result from dealing with their mother.
Um, children whose parents have Alzheimer's are GROWN. They have different relationships aside from the parent/child relationship from when children are much younger.
Nobody knows what kind of damage could result, and that is the problem. Here's a link to help you: Childhood attachment
it is about the mother as much as it is the children. you can't just swep mom out of the picture. period, no matter what effect it might have on the children (especially if the only sin the mom has done is be disabled )
we have tons of children living with parents with various degrees of disabilities.
I know parents that raised their children totally deaf-blind. Their children came out happy and healthy. Amazing, isn't it, how things aren't an issue if you don't make them one?
Study up on child psychology and get back to me. You are refusing to understand what I am saying, and I'm not going to go back and forth with you until you get it. Hint: It is NOT about the mother, it is about the welfare of the children.
These are all valid questions that none of us can answer:
How is she expressing love toward them?
How is she interacting with them?
How does she respond to their needs?
Can she comfort them if one of them is crying in her presence, as little kids often do?
If they are hungry, can she figure out what they are hungry for?
Are the children scared by her condition?
Do they fear for her in some way, like how she's going to die, or if she's in pain?
Um, once again, the conditions that the court granted her do not involve her fixing them lunch, etc.
As for your other...points...from the article:
Quote:
"The court finds that even though Abbie cannot interact with the children, the children can interact with Abbie -- and that the interaction is beneficial for the children," Shaller ruled. "They can touch her, see her, bond with her, and can carry these memories with them."
And compassion is never a terrible thing for a child to learn.
And a real expert in child psychology would probably tell you that if these children are denied seeing their mother at all, that's going to cause some very unhealthy hostility towards their father in a few years.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
) 
