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One might argue that homosexually, since its aim is not one towards reproductive purposes, is principally based in lust. They might argue that. But I really haven't thought much on the issue of "lust," so, I'm not sure I would make that argument.
Using your logic, one might argue that heterosexuality is only about animal rutting and reproducing.
You speak of 'biology' in a very simple basic way. If you ever eventually study neurobiology, the development of the human brain, behavioural science etc, you might gain more insight.
Using your logic, one might argue that heterosexuality is only about animal rutting and reproducing.
One might argue heterosexuality is about reproduction. So?
If that philosophical argument was made I doubt most if any biologists would object. Actually, I doubt the atheist Richard Dawkins would object. Dawkins promotes a gene-centric view of evolution in which he claims humans don't matter, that only our genes matter, and that our genes use us to sexually reproduce so our genes go on to live into eternity.
The whole idea behind the Theory of Evolution is one of reproduction. That's what the whole concept of "fitness" is about and its the whole idea behind the explanation of the anatomies and physiological functions of all living organisms.
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You speak of 'biology' in a very simple basic way. If you ever eventually study neurobiology, the development of the human brain, behavioural science etc, you might gain more insight.
This comment really makes no sense whatsoever as I've already stated over a million times I do not subscribe to biological or genetic determinism and I acknowledge human sexuality is part of complex human behaviors. I've also noted that at the cellular level the chemistry and physics involved in driving the biological organism is deterministic. That does not necessarily mean the "mind" is deterministic. As though a racist person can never change their views.
At any rate... if a person studied every subject and sub-field on earth I'm sure they would "gain more insight." But given you have not done that--as no human on earth has--your point is rather ridiculous. No scientist or medical doctor knows everything or is a specialist in all fields. There is simply too much to know. I was just talking to a retired nurse about this a couple weeks ago. No nurse and no medical doctor knows everything about all aspects of medicine and nursing. That's why there are so many specialized fields.
But let's apply behavioral science and neurobiology to the problem of two men, since you seem to allude to your wealth of insight into these fields. The two men being one gay man and one heterosexual man. The gay man abandons his wife and children for a man he is very sexually attracted to. The heterosexual man abandons his wife and children for a younger woman he is very sexually attracted to. Provide explanation if not justification for the behavior and cognitive conclusions they both respectively arrived at using the information in neurobiology and behavioral science.
Who is putting the burden on OTHER people for MY happiness? The point that you seem to miss...is that if all states seceded and formed much smaller societies...it would be MUCH easier to form these societies. And it would be MUCH more feasible to find parity among people and their likes as opposed to trying to strike some common ground between 300+ MILLION PEOPLE.
If you think that social norms should be FORCED upon a demographic, just so they chip in or pay forward other peoples lifestyles...then you are more selfish than anybody.
And to the bolded part...social norms ARE decided by society. Why do they exist or HOW do they exist? Are you trying to tell me that legislation is more natural than mores? Forget being natural... what the hell do you think laws ARE? They are nothing more than norms that are forced and they are AGREED UPON BY SOCIETY.
Blah blah blah... pretty much the empty answer I expected, but you ignored my pre-response anyway. Bottom line? I am a part of society, and disagree with many of your concepts of what is "normal," acceptable, etc. So basically all you're saying here is "I think MY standards should be treated as special, and your opinions count for diddly squat." You also seem to think you're in the majority, when people with your mindset (in regards to gay rights issues) are actually now in the minority. Thus, if we are basing societal norms on what percentage thinks what, I'm more of the norm than you. Whoopsie.
Besides, how or when has anything of this nature been "forced" upon you? Does having an openly gay neighbor, or a married gay couple, in your town mean you're forced to accept their presence? If that were true, I could also say marriage in general is being forced on single people like me. Get over it, and just ignore the gay folks in your community if they offend you so much. Aren't people like you also the ones who say "ignore it if it bothers you" whenever the tables are turned? Guess that only applies in one direction.
P.S. How did this isolated story turn into another "gay debate?" If the story hasn't mentioned his orientation, would this have turned into a debate over the morality of heterosexuality? Doubt it. Not to mention, there are WAY more straight deadbeat dads out there, so his being gay has zero to do with this issue. Typical of an Internet forum, though; just the mere mention of the word GAY causes panties to twist all over the interwebs. Pathetic.
After much counseling, returning was the right thing to do for a myriad of reasons. I definitely did not return ‘to feel better about myself’ – if that was my motive, staying away would have been better. The possibility (not guarantee) for healing and closure for others was my motive for returning. Once I successfully grasped hold of my own forgiveness, I strengthened myself in all ways to prepare myself for whatever may become upon my return. At the point I was sure I was ready for anything, I returned.
I make no excuse. There is none. There are NO excuses for my mistakes - only background to help others who may be in similar situations, not to make theirs.
A dam breaks and harms all below it.
Afterwards, research reveals the weaknesses of the dam - not making ANY excuse for not addressing what should have been addressed before the dam broke.
The research is done to help others to see what weaknesses must be addressed to avoid such harm in the future.
What made me go off the deep end are NOT justifications or excuses. The dam broke. I speak my “WHY” so that others will be true to their real selves and thereby avoid breaking (or even getting into the ‘damn’ situation in the first place). Not being true to self (eventually) always results in collateral damage…which is wrong and painful for all involved.
I felt I had failed as a husband and father and I could not accept myself as a gay man. I had nothing left to live for. Then I got robbed and I snapped. I didn’t decide to leave my family – I had a breakdown and left. I would not have done what I did if I was mentally healthy.
I never thought about running away. In San Diego, I was traumatized by a robbery. I was broken down, weak and I cracked. My greatest fear was losing my entire family and the life I knew, if they found out I was gay. I grew up in the 60s. When it was not OK to be gay. (Others who have lived in fear, shame and hatred may not have cracked. I was weak and I did.) I thought of killing myself 3 times when I was 13. I became a religious fanatic hoping to cure myself. In that religion, divorce and being gay are not options. In my mind I did not have a choice. I failed with my family and my faith failed me. Killing myself was an option too.
I am humbly greatly sorry for all the harm my damn situation brought to everyone.
ABC’s 20/20 program, "I Escaped My Life..." took 100s hours of coverage and edited it into 21 mins of Sensationalism vs. Balanced Journalism - for Perspective/Understanding check out ThatWasTheAct.com
Others, who have made huge mistakes, hide. One more closet I’m not willing to be in. This is a discussion to reduce such future tragedies. If my motive was to be viewed positively, I would have stayed away. Before, I couldn’t face my life; now I can AND AM.
I am here to offer my previous weaknesses as lessons for others, to help as many as possible to avoid my pitfalls.
Others, who have made huge mistakes, hide. One more closet I’m not willing to be in. This is a discussion to reduce such future tragedies.
It is as if I believed there should be no gun restrictions and after hurting someone horribly with a gun, I’ve become an advocate for restrictions. Living A Charade Causes Much Damage for All Affected.
COME OUT, COME OUT — For Everyone’s Betterment.
I made a serious mistake and if anyone reading this will learn from it, and not do anything hurtful by living a charade, then some good can result.
ELM
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