Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'll give it a shot - and I think you know I'm not a racist.
Here's my perspective - I don't know if some white people use this sort of example in order to "vent" their anger toward black people. There are probably a few - but there are probably just as many racist people from other groups who do the same thing. Not saying it's right - just saying there are some really angry, passive aggressive people out there. Thankfully, in my experience THEY'RE a minority.
I'll tell you what I think is MORE common in today's society among people 50 and under, and that's that people sometimes feel compelled NOT to complain, or "write up," or discipline, or hold accountable, or hold to the same standards, etc minorities BECAUSE they're afraid they'll be labeled as racist -sometimes with legal and/or workplace ramifications. This is a very serious thing.
People shouldn't be afraid to question, to seek understanding, to enter into a discussion, to be curious about, whatever, a group of people because they're likely to have the race card thrown in their face.
That being said, I do think that many people are too quick to privately (or in a small circle, or on an anonymous internet forum) blame peoples' actions on their race, rather than their character. They're too flippant about it - and I think THIS is the reaction that's rooted in anger, not the questioning or discussing actual trends (like this thread - apparently it's TRUE that overall, AAs tip less than other groups - and the same by the way can be said of "after church" crowds on Sunday - of any color).
Yes, it would be frustrating to have people expect the worst from you simply because of the color of your skin. I know a bit about how this feels - at age 48 I was promoted into a position that company wide was predominately filled by younger white guys, most of them unmarried and with no kids. So here I was - a middle aged woman with grandkids -and I guess to them I was positively ancient. They automatically assumed I wasn't tech savvy (I am), and that I was closed minded (I'm not) and that I was the matronly type who collected recipes and went to church every time the doors were open (not me). It was very frustrating to put up with their snide, underhanded sense of superiority. You can imagine their surprise and dismay when I outperformed them consistently.
So I can sort of relate to how you would be irritated by false assumptions. I think most people can, if they think about it.
What I was referring to is what goes on in the forums, and sometimes I've seen it in public. One thing I've noticed about the angry is this. They speak the loudest and try to drown everyone else out. Passive aggressiveness isn't good either.
I'm the first one to say that everyone should be held to the same standards. This is why I argue about taking personal responsibility. What I've noticed is this. Some people are afraid to complain, that is true. On the other side of the coin, there is a tendency to use passive-aggressive means of treating other differently.
With the flippant remarks, it is difficult to tell whether it is racism, or just curiosity. With the level of passive-aggressive behavior, comes lack of trust.
We both understand that expecting the worst from someone based on race or age is something frustrating. One reason I think the way that I do. My perspective is this. There are Black people who do tip poorly. However, I've never obsessed about it. The majority of the time, I have rarely ever heard Blacks obsess about this. Maybe the reason I was never curious because I looked at it is "take personal responsibility for yourself". What does frustrate me the most about making false assumptions is that it is costly to the individual. This is what I'm trying to show others.
The general thing is this. What disturbs me is that many people tend to care more about the group than the individual. And those who think like that tend to speak the loudest.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
