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Just thought I would add this here as this has stuck with me for 20+ years since the Anita Hill issue. I don't make excuses for men or blame the women for dress, etc.
A well known male lawyer at that time (name escapes me) pointed this out in regard to workplace sexual harassment. He said men KNOW when they are doing it and need to own up to that fact. They know they are doing it more then the women who are forced to explain how they "perceive it".
It's so simple.....in regard to showing interest in a woman:
1) Man asks woman out. She says no. No harm no foul, move on.
2) Man asks same woman out a second time. He's being a real pest. He's pushing it and HE KNOWS IT.
3) Man asks same woman out a third time. He is clearly sexually harassing her now and again HE KNOWS IT.
All men know this deep down, no handbook or harassment sensitivity course needed.
I remember watching the Anita Hill hearings and knowing that every woman watching understood exactly what she was talking about. Stepping forward at that time took real courage. And just as she--and every woman watching it--feared, she was not believed.
I hope she is feeling some vindication today, though the man who harassed her is enjoying life as a respected justice today without repercussion. History will not judge him as kindly as his fellow men did at the time.
I'm a guy, and I'm sorry, but this is total nonsense.
I have interactions with women every day. I don't fear being accused of sexual harassment, because I act professionally and treat them like normal people.
Basically if you're a dude that always gets chicks or a dude that never gets chicks, those two ends of the spectrum can often lead to this type of ****. Us middle ground guys know the deal.
Just thought I would add this here as this has stuck with me for 20+ years since the Anita Hill issue. I don't make excuses for men or blame the women for dress, etc.
A well known male lawyer at that time (name escapes me) pointed this out in regard to workplace sexual harassment. He said men KNOW when they are doing it and need to own up to that fact. They know they are doing it more than the women who are forced to explain how they "perceive it".
It's so simple.....in regard to showing interest in a woman:
1) Man asks woman out. She says no. No harm no foul, move on.
2) Man asks same woman out a second time. He's being a real pest. He's pushing it and HE KNOWS IT.
3) Man asks same woman out a third time. He is clearly sexually harassing her now and again HE KNOWS IT.
All men know this deep down, no handbook or harassment sensitivity course needed.
This makes me think of stories I've heard from older people where the wife will say "I didn't like him at first but he kept pestering me so I finally gave in and now here we are." But she'll say it in a loving sort of way, like she's glad he persisted. I guess if those two people meet nowadays they never end up together.
Your husband is not alone, not by a long shot. I think probably every male in America is going through this mental exercise, and I bet many, many of them, if they are being honest with themselves, will realize they have behaved badly towards women in the past.
I don't condemn them all, because as a culture, it was not only allowed, it was encouraged.
But times are changing. Going forward no one has the excuse of not knowing they are being offensive any longer.
It was never encouraged at work, and if men gave us a particularly hard time at a club we would tell a bouncer and one time the bouncers took the guy out back. Later the guy apologized to us with his black eyes. lol. Those were situations involving alcohol but the workplace stuff was always very bad. No man ever had any excuse to grope a co-worker.
Interesting this. ^^ I had noticed from watching the news that it seems ALL the female commentators are going sleeveless and in a lot of cases this is quite...revealing. Nurses and medical techs, including medical receptionists, catch a break with the non descript Scrubs, but outside of that things are different.
In my line of work I worked with quite a few women but in the trades everybody dressed the same. Carharrtes in the winter, Ripstop cargo pants and t shirts in the summer. Office type women workers are pretty limited. I agree on the sleeveless look. C'mon. Not every woman wants to go to work dressed like that.
You should start a thread about this up in fashion. I'd be interested to see the responses.
Yes, sleeveless in the winter even. Sometimes on the Weather Channel! LOL
Ever notice that some networks use glass desks so you can see the their legs too?
Yes, I would be interested in a fashion thread too. Thanks for suggesting. Maybe someone will start one.
Also, some of my male friends have flat out admitted they tune in the networks with the sexier newscasters for the "view". One guy is 75 years old and in a wheelchair! You would think he would care more about hearing the info on Medicare issues at his age, but no, it's still SEX.
Last edited by motownnative; 11-17-2017 at 08:44 AM..
Reason: sp/add
It really is amazing how the work ever gets done with all the harassment, groping, kissing, sex, etc., that is going on in every workplace everywhere all day long. I mean how do they do it? When do they find the time to answer email?
Seriously? In 20+ years of working I have never seen it, never heard about it in any workplace, never had a friend or coworker or relative have an issue, ever. There was one guy who liked to stare at everyone's boobs. We didn't care. He was a jerk, we all knew it and IGNORED him. Seriously, wreck our day over HIM? no one cared.
Beyond that person, how is that possible with it being so rampant everywhere that every man is a predator and every woman is a victim that it did not affect anyone I know, working at multiple companies, multiple states?
This makes me think of stories I've heard from older people where the wife will say "I didn't like him at first but he kept pestering me so I finally gave in and now here we are." But she'll say it in a loving sort of way, like she's glad he persisted. I guess if those two people meet nowadays they never end up together.
I was making a point where the woman is clearly showing no interest. Men don't need to be mind readers.
If she changes her mind she will let a man know. There is also the saying to just let someone go and if it was meant to be they will come back to you.
It really is amazing how the work ever gets done with all the harassment, groping, kissing, sex, etc., that is going on in every workplace everywhere all day long. I mean how do they do it? When do they find the time to answer email?
Seriously? In 20+ years of working I have never seen it, never heard about it in any workplace, never had a friend or coworker or relative have an issue, ever. There was one guy who liked to stare at everyone's boobs. We didn't care. He was a jerk, we all knew it and IGNORED him. Seriously, wreck our day over HIM? no one cared.
Beyond that person, how is that possible with it being so rampant everywhere that every man is a predator and every woman is a victim that it did not affect anyone I know, working at multiple companies, multiple states?
Guess you got lucky. Also, past twenty years there have been sexual harassment policies in place and awareness of it in the workplace. Before that there were no real consequences and victims had to worry for their jobs if they reported it.
I remember a case where a supervisor complained about a woman being distracting to his male workers because she was pretty. She had to be moved. Stuff like this is crazy, I don't think it happens anymore.
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