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I quoted that specific part of the article earlier in this thread. It's terrible. She's 10 for goodness sake. Her little body being forced to endure pregnancy is just so sad.
I didn't read the entire thread and don't know what you quoted.
I am always sorry to hear of such abuse but have no answers for how to prevent such tragedies.
My wrath at the role of bureaucracies in such a scenario is palpable.
I can only wonder what went so wrong.
--did the parent/guardian of the child intervene in a timely manner
--did an employee of a bureacracy take immediate action
--how much time has been wasted at the child's expense
And dont give me a bunch of bullcaca examples of rape and incest. We all know thats not what the arguement is about. It's about self control, responsibility and wanting to having free sex with no consequences.
Easy for you to say. If you were on the female end of things, it would be different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
To be honest, if this were my child and she were physically capable of carrying the baby,I would that she carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption.When the baby was handed over, I would tell her that in giving life where her attacker sought to destroy hers, she rose above him and that the baby and the new family formed by the adoption is the silver lining is what will probably be the darkest cloud in her life. Sometimes, the hard thing is the one that heals our souls. There are no easy solutions here. You can't make her unmolested or unpregnant. You can't take it away. You can only decide in which way to make it harder. It will either be harder because she's dealing with carrying a pregnancy to term or harder because she's dealing with having her own unborn child killed.
If abortion was an option, that's what should have happened weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's too late.
Do you honestly think a 10 year old girl is capable of understanding all that about the silver lining? Even at 10, shouldn't she have some say in whether she keeps the baby, has an abortion or gives it up?
As far as her "dealing with having her own unborn child killed", is only what she would think if an adult told her that. It is only as traumatic as the adults around her lead her to believe.
Easy for you to say. If you were on the female end of things, it would be different.
If abortion was an option, that's what should have happened weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's too late.
Do you honestly think a 10 year old girl is capable of understanding all that about the silver lining? Even at 10, shouldn't she have some say in whether she keeps the baby, has an abortion or gives it up?
As far as her "dealing with having her own unborn child killed", is only what she would think if an adult told her that. It is only as traumatic as the adults around her lead her to believe.
To be honest, I'm not sure that's what SHOULD have happened. This girl has to live with whatever is decided here. If as many people lived to regret other medical procedures as do abortions, the procedure would be outlawed. This child is 10. She can't make this decision. The decision made for her needs to be the one that harms her the least. Which leaves her less scarred for life?
At this point, an abortion would be very traumatic. IMO, more traumatic than giving birth to a live baby and giving it up.
As is often the case in molestation cases, the pregnancy is far along before it is discovered. And, as I noted earlier, the pregnancy is often welcomed by the victim because it brings the problem into the light and rescues her from further abuse. She may not want to end the pregnancy. This pregnancy stopped her abuse. What if she can't live with having killed the child, who by their very existence, rescued her from her abuser?
My concern here is her age. At 10, can she go through a pregnancy without risking her life? Psychologically, she needs counseling. If she feels the pregnancy saved her from further abuse, terminating could have a very negative effect on her.
As to what she thinks about killing her baby, she will decide what she thinks when she grows up. What if she does conclude she took a life? What if, like happened to a friend of mine, she realizes, on the due date, that a baby would have been born had she not killed it? The question is, which mistake would you rather she live with the memory of for the rest of her life? If it were my daughter, I'd choose for her to continue the pregnancy if her life were not in danger. I'd rather she live with regretting sparing a life, if I'm wrong, than live with regretting taking one. You never know but she might actually regret taking a life and that is something you cannot take back. Unfortunately, this girl isn't old enough to make the decision and no one owns a crystal ball that works so we can't look into the future and see what her views on abortion will be.
I do know that it's typical for a pregnancy that results from ongoing molestation to be welcomed because it saves the girl from further abuse. She may, very well, welcome this pregnancy and consider the baby as having saved her from a bad situation. If that is the case, abortion is the wrong choice.
You do realize that had she not turned up pregnant, she'd probably still be the victim of ongoing sexual abuse and no one would be the wiser. The abuse was discovered BECAUSE of the pregnancy. Without it, she'd be right back where she was a year ago.
And no, a 10 year old doesn't get a say in whether or not she keeps a baby or gives it up. She's nowhere near ready to make such decisions. She's 10. Unfortunately, for this girl, it sounds like her parents aren't equipped to make good decisions for her either. Hopefully, someone will step up to make the right decision for her.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 04-25-2010 at 03:09 PM..
Actually, when a pregnancy results in a child's molester being caught and the molestation stopped, the pregnancy is often welcomed because it rescued the mother from further abuse.
Abortion would just be another man she doesn't want putting things in her private parts putting things in her private parts. It would be another rape. Following a rape with an abortion doesn't make the mother unraped. It just makes her switch roles from victim to attacker when she orders the death of her unborn child. As bad as carrying a child you don't want is, I'm not sure that abortion is the lesser of the evils. Is attacking someone weaker and smaller than you really the right response to having been attacked yourself?
Now, the issue of whether or not a 10 year old can carry to term is another story. She may not be physically capable of carrying this baby. The issue should center around her health and whether or not continuing the pregnancy would result in risking her life.
To be honest, if this were my child and she were physically capable of carrying the baby, I would that she carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption. When the baby was handed over, I would tell her that in giving life where her attacker sought to destroy hers, she rose above him and that the baby and the new family formed by the adoption is the silver lining is what will probably be the darkest cloud in her life. Sometimes, the hard thing is the one that heals our souls. There are no easy solutions here. You can't make her unmolested or unpregnant. You can't take it away. You can only decide in which way to make it harder. It will either be harder because she's dealing with carrying a pregnancy to term or harder because she's dealing with having her own unborn child killed. At 17 1/2 weeks, there's no denying what it is. She's well past the clump of cells stage. Options are saline and delivering a dead baby or having it ripped limb from limb and pulled out in pieces. How are either of those options on top of having been molested better than her carrying to term and giving the baby up for adoption?
If she is incapable of carrying the baby, then there is no choice. However, I pity her having to live through any of her abortion options on top of having been molested.
The numbers of girls molested by step fathers or their mother's boyfriends is staggering. They should all be castrated and then put in the prison general population. They won't live long.
I can't find the statistic, but I believe that a girl's chances of being sexually molested go up something like 30 times when her mom starts dating. There is no way I'd date if my husband and I split up. Pedophiles will wine, dine and marry mom to gain access to her daughters.
Did you people miss the part where the girl said she wanted to keep the baby. She told her mom that. She isn't being forced to have the baby. Or do you want to force her to kill her child?
This is a tough decision and there is no winning move. Only degrees of losing. At this point, I think continuing the pregnancy is the lesser of the evils. If it could have been handled with the abortion pill, I might think differently. This is too much for a 10 year old child any way you slice it. This child cannot win. However, I do know that, in cases of ongoing molestation, it is not unusual for the victim to welcome pregnancy because it brings her abuse into the light. She may consider the baby as her rescuer. It, very well, could be more traumatic for her to abort than continue the pregnancy if that is the case.
And then there's the fact she has to live with whatever decision is made for the rest of her life and when you're 10, that's a very long time if the wrong decision is made. So you have to ask which way you want to risk being wrong. Do you want to be wrong about putting her through an abortion and having her live with knowing she had her child killed or wrong about her having the baby and wishing it was dead? I know you can't take it back once you kill it. You can always give it away if you don't want it.
I know what I'd choose if this were my child. IMO, if she's physically capable (and that is a big question hereas she may not be), I think the lesser of the evils is for her to have the child, at this point.
If she is incapable of carrying the baby, then there is no choice. However, I pity her having to live through any of her abortion options on top of having been molested.
The only once that can't live it it is people like you. She is a little child raped by her daddy for crying out load. !! People like you would make make her feel guilty if she had an abortion.
However, I do know that, in cases of ongoing molestation, it is not unusual for the victim to welcome pregnancy because it brings her abuse into the light. She may consider the baby as her rescuer. It, very well, could be more traumatic for her to abort than continue the pregnancy if that is the case.
You have repeated this numerous times.
This girl is 10. It isn't up to us to decide for her what will happen with her and her baby. If they decide to abort, then they abort. The authorities in Mexico will decide.
The only once that can't live it it is people like you. She is a little child raped by her daddy for crying out load. !! People like you would make make her feel guilty if she had an abortion.
Exactly. Ivory, forcing a child to carry the baby is child abuse, plain and simple.
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The numbers of girls molested by step fathers or their mother's boyfriends is staggering. They should all be castrated and then put in the prison general population. They won't live long.
