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Instead of taking ownership of some of your petty issues and recognising your own self defeating behaviour, you throw yourself to the ground and have a big tantrum instead because it's "not fair".
Well life isn't fair, sorry. Most of us recognise the dumb things we do which aggravate our own frustrations, and handle those instead of trying to change everyone and every thing around us. It will save you a lot of grief over the years to be more accountable for your own contribution to your frustrations rather than trying to change humanity as a whole.
But I'm talking to a brick wall as none of this is ever your fault.
Instead of taking ownership of some of your petty issues and recognising your own self defeating behaviour, you throw yourself to the ground and have a big tantrum instead because it's "not fair".
Well life isn't fair, sorry. Most of us recognise the dumb things we do which aggravate our own frustrations, and handle those instead of trying to change everyone and every thing around us. It will save you a lot of grief over the years to be more accountable for your own contribution to your frustrations rather than trying to change humanity as a whole.
But I'm talking to a brick wall as none of this is ever your fault.
Never said any of that. I asked how to deal with the inevitable frustrations of life without getting too worked up over them.
Your solution was for me to never forget something again, and to not text my parents cause it's rude. Hardly very relevant to what I was asking for.
But this post was the closest you've been to helpful so far.
1. I left my body lotion in the bathroom (I live in a dorm). Come back to look 45 minutes later, gone, somebody nicked it.
2. Try to study earlier today. My roommate is, as usual, making as much noise as possible, playing xbox while talking to his friends (he does this all day, every day) and watching football. I gave up trying and am now screwing around on the internet, accomplishing nothing.
3. I text my parents about going through with a room change, still waiting to hear back. My mom responds to some of my texts and completely ignores others, which I think is incredibly rude.
Things like this seem to happen to me on a daily basis, and they probably aren't much different from what happens with everyone else, but I have trouble rationally controlling my frustration and anger over this. Most of it is probably intensified by my own frustrations with life in general.
As other people have indicated, change what you can, and learn to accept the rest.
My daughter, who is also a student who actually does study, had the same issue in her freshman year. She was SO disappointed, expecting college to be where she would make intelligent friends who had the same desire to learn as she did and ended up with a bunch of girls in a suite who wanted to do nothing but party and then ask her for notes. She switched schools the following year (not because of that, but because she changed her major) and had a better-suited roommate, then she studied in Asia and came back and now has an apartment with two good, serious-studying roommates, and she's very happy.
You should not have to expect your personal belongings to be stolen. Some people just suck, and how petty to steal body lotion. Jeez.
Your story about texting your parents was a little amusing, since it's usually the parents saying that the college kid doesn't respond enough to THEM.
Anyway, except for the roommate thing, which is a serious quality-of-life issue, the other two things are minor. However, minor frustrations can add up, especially on a the back of a bigger, more chronic one. Sometimes a change in environment helps--is there a place to go for a walk or a run and be outside or have something different to look at for an hour? That can at least alleviate some of the frustration and anger sometimes.
As other people have indicated, change what you can, and learn to accept the rest.
My daughter, who is also a student who actually does study, had the same issue in her freshman year. She was SO disappointed, expecting college to be where she would make intelligent friends who had the same desire to learn as she did and ended up with a bunch of girls in a suite who wanted to do nothing but party and then ask her for notes. She switched schools the following year (not because of that, but because she changed her major) and had a better-suited roommate, then she studied in Asia and came back and now has an apartment with two good, serious-studying roommates, and she's very happy.
You should not have to expect your personal belongings to be stolen. Some people just suck, and how petty to steal body lotion. Jeez.
Your story about texting your parents was a little amusing, since it's usually the parents saying that the college kid doesn't respond enough to THEM.
Anyway, except for the roommate thing, which is a serious quality-of-life issue, the other two things are minor. However, minor frustrations can add up, especially on a the back of a bigger, more chronic one. Sometimes a change in environment helps--is there a place to go for a walk or a run and be outside or have something different to look at for an hour? That can at least alleviate some of the frustration and anger sometimes.
My roommate doesn't even party or anything social, aside from talking to his high school friends on Xbox. He hasn't shown any interest in making friends with anyone here, including me (most questions I ask are answered with a "yes"/"no" and then silence). He also snores, which is keeping me up at night. I feel bad complaining about him cause he is a nice guy, just doesn't seem too interested in getting to know me (or maybe he doesn't like me ). Either way, a roommate change definitely seems in order.
Like I've been trying to say, I acknowledge these things are petty to get upset over (and yes, leaving the lotion in the bathroom was my fault) but when it happens, I just get irrationally irritated with people, and like you said I think it's been building cause I've been pretty depressed lately. I think both my brothers and my mom have anger issues as well.
I try to take walks around campus and listen to music when I'm in the worst of moods.
Anyways thanks for the response, I definitely think things will improve if I get a change of scenery.
My roommate doesn't even party or anything social, aside from talking to his high school friends on Xbox. He hasn't shown any interest in making friends with anyone here, including me (most questions I ask are answered with a "yes"/"no" and then silence). He also snores, which is keeping me up at night. I feel bad complaining about him cause he is a nice guy, just doesn't seem too interested in getting to know me (or maybe he doesn't like me ). Either way, a roommate change definitely seems in order.
Like I've been trying to say, I acknowledge these things are petty to get upset over (and yes, leaving the lotion in the bathroom was my fault) but when it happens, I just get irrationally irritated with people, and like you said I think it's been building cause I've been pretty depressed lately. I think both my brothers and my mom have anger issues as well.
I try to take walks around campus and listen to music when I'm in the worst of moods.
Anyways thanks for the response, I definitely think things will improve if I get a change of scenery.
I know, so do I. I'm frustrated with my job and some financial issues, and I get irrationally irritated at people I see on my commuter train for no reason whatsoever. Could be what they're wearing or the way they walk. LOL. And I'm WAY past college age.
I know, so do I. I'm frustrated with my job and some financial issues, and I get irrationally irritated at people I see on my commuter train for no reason whatsoever. Could be what they're wearing or the way they walk. LOL. And I'm WAY past college age.
Damn. Once you're in, you're in it for life I guess
1. I left my body lotion in the bathroom (I live in a dorm). Come back to look 45 minutes later, gone, somebody nicked it.
2. Try to study earlier today. My roommate is, as usual, making as much noise as possible, playing xbox while talking to his friends (he does this all day, every day) and watching football. I gave up trying and am now screwing around on the internet, accomplishing nothing.
3. I text my parents about going through with a room change, still waiting to hear back. My mom responds to some of my texts and completely ignores others, which I think is incredibly rude.
Things like this seem to happen to me on a daily basis, and they probably aren't much different from what happens with everyone else, but I have trouble rationally controlling my frustration and anger over this. Most of it is probably intensified by my own frustrations with life in general.
It's all about perspecitve. Think about how much more frustrated you would be if you've had almost nothing to eat for a couple days, or have been severly thirsty for several hours but there is no water to be found; what about if you had to cross an ice-cold stream on a cold November morning by walking across it, and there being no prospect of a warm place ahead at all? Just the only thing ahead is countless miles of walking, and just maybe--if you are lucky--at some point in the next twenty hours or so, there might be a chance of there being a fire at camp for at least some warmth. What if you had no indoor plumbing? These are just a few examples of how much worse it can be. I have many more if you want. It never ceases to amaze me at how few people realize what small fortunes they do have; what you do have is never guarenteed to be there forever either, so while you may feel miserable now it would probably be incomparable to what you would feel if you ever actually had to experience any actual hardship. I mean, to me it's normal to be annoyed at things that you mentioned above, but annoyance and true frustration and anger that's difficult to control are two different things.
So anyway to answser your question, that is how I deal with it, to put it in perspective. I always imagine how much worse it can be and am thankful I have food, drink, shelter, my sight, and all four limbs.
suggestions with no particular order that may or may not be applicable
-expressing your displeasure in lengthy diatribes towards the offending party.
-speaking with someone in council to vent
-finding new people to vent about the annoying ones with.
-new hobby that engross you so much the little things don't matter
-falling in love like it's a tv special
-assume there is no solution. bad and random stuff happens. a lot of people cope by just burying the bitter enough it doesn't make them bitter batty as much as it used to Aka get use to it somehow.
-find a solution. cope. little problem aren't the end of the world.
Most of them due to the behavior of others.
For example, so far today:
1. I left my body lotion in the bathroom (I live in a dorm). Come back to look 45 minutes later, gone, somebody nicked it.
2. Try to study earlier today. My roommate is, as usual, making as much noise as possible, playing xbox while talking to his friends (he does this all day, every day) and watching football. I gave up trying and am now screwing around on the internet, accomplishing nothing.
3. I text my parents about going through with a room change, still waiting to hear back. My mom responds to some of my texts and completely ignores others, which I think is incredibly rude.
Things like this seem to happen to me on a daily basis, and they probably aren't much different from what happens with everyone else, but I have trouble rationally controlling my frustration and anger over this. Most of it is probably intensified by my own frustrations with life in general.
Hey Llewelyn: Sounds like you are frustrated. First step with regard to getting your body lotion "Nicked" out of the bathroom is to remember to take your stuff OUT of the bathroom when you are done and if you don't want yoru roommate to "nick it" (love that word) then purchase a small cabinet of some sort that locks and lock your stuff up on your side of your dorm.
Follow up on the room change on your own if your parents are not taking care of it. Time to grow up and grab the bull by the horns. If you are unhappy with the room situation then speak with your R.A. first then if that doesn't work ask to speak to someone in a higher position. You can do this yourself. Your Mom could think that you are just still adjusting to college life so perhaps a for REAL phone call to her to let her know how unhappy you are in your room might be the way to go. Texting is not such a good way to send a message that you are so SERIOUS about. People find it so much easier to get rid of a text than they do hang up on someone. Worst invention ever...TEXTING...took the personal aspect out of conversation and tossed it into the crapper for sure.
You are under a ton of stress being in college and the inconsiderate roomie doesn't help. Try taking your books and your studying to the school library. The fresh air walk to the library (if there is one) will be great for you and it will be quiet. Lock up all your stuff that you don't want "nicked" and head off to the library. Perhaps call you Mom on the way over there..don't text her call her. If she doesn't answer, leave a message and tell her you absolutely don't want a text back that you need to talk to her.
Relax...good luck with school and I am sure all this will pass.
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). Either way, a roommate change definitely seems in order.
