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Because to admit the poor were at a disadvantage might suggest their own accomplished were, at least in part, due to their own relative advantages. Waelthy people don't want to believe that. The want to believe, and want others to believe, they did it all on their own. Especially in the US, where the "self-mad man" myth is believed with almost religious fervor.
I agree. Spiceymeatball brought up the "Just world falacy", and I think that's what you're describing. Along with denying some of the advantages a person may have benefitted from, belief in a just world also helps people sleep at night. If I "live right", I'll be protected from the disasters that befall "other" people.
I suspect that's how some of the people who were ruined in the Enron debacle felt, you know, before they became the "other" people.
Because to admit the poor were at a disadvantage might suggest their own accomplished were, at least in part, due to their own relative advantages. Waelthy people don't want to believe that. The want to believe, and want others to believe, they did it all on their own. Especially in the US, where the "self-mad man" myth is believed with almost religious fervor.
In some cases what you say is true. In others though you can see people from identical circumstances taking different paths in their lives.
You do have to have a changed minset to have an opportunity at change, but I also think other factors come along with whether or not change comes to the situation. Such as opportunities, health situations, the amount of people you may have in your support system. There are lots more I could think of. In my situation there have been lots of twists and turns and factors as to why I remain at this level. For someone to simply say my mindset is the problem, is just not true because the complexity of each individual's life is on different levels, and I beleive that God has people at certain levels in life to reach the people at that level. If 95 percent of humanity was successful then how would anyone reach the lost souls that belong to the 5 percent? I beleive through my experiences that God places us where we need to be used. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to do things your own way or follow your own plan, he has other plans for your life.
I just wanted to find out why people who have found or made a better financial situation for themselves, and people with wealth or who grew up in wealth, always categorize everyone who's poor as being underachievers, or people who haven't tried hard enough in life? Why are the poor blamed for being poor? Are you the type of person who believes a poor person is always at fault for where they are in life financially? If so, do you ever think that thier path may have been more than you could have imagined to bare just to overcome poverty or do you think there are enough jobs and opportunities for each and every individual in society to be financially stable?
Not all poor people are lazy. There are various reasons for being poor. However, there are people who are poor for not trying hard in life, for making poor choices, and for being lazy. Like most issues in life, this is far from black and white.
Folks, a lot of people are simply lacking in accurate knowledge and information about the poor, particularly about the (a) long-term/hardcore poor and (b) the "working poor" -- those who hold down multiple minimum-wage jobs just to keep the wolf away from the door.
People tend to observe things through the lenses of their own backgrounds/experiences, then make judgements that are based on those same backgrounds/experiences. Both of these are pretty normal, statistically speaking, but it doesn't make them right.
Rather than go into detail here, I'll just close with this. Before you judge anyone, take the time and effort to truly walk a mile in their shoes. Find out, as best you can, exactly what it is like to BE them, to see the world through THEIR eyes, etc. If you've never done it, it can be mind-blowing...
I've had some unusual life experiences which have given me some insight into this rich/poor thing.
First of all, I was raised in a middle class family. Strictly middle class - one car, public schools, hamburger helper for dinner, that sort of thing.
When I went off to college, I met a guy from a VERY poor family who was attending college on a scholarship. We got married, against my parents' advice (they were against it because we hadn't dated very long - and they were, by the way, right in their assessment that it wasn't a wise choice). Since my parents were being, errr, difficult, we moved to HIS town and around HIS family.
This was a family that had lived on "public assistance" for generations. Unwed mothers, drug and alcohol abusers, roaches, health issues, you name it. Wow, what an eye opener.
Here are things that I observed in the two years I lived within that community:
1. People CONSISTENTLY made very poor choices - in mates, in spouses (if on the off chance they decided to actually marry someone who they had a baby with), in job performance (would treat jobs casually, be late, call in sick or just not show up), in what they ate and drank, in their financial priorities -you name it. Sorry but it's the plain truth.
2. They ridiculed people who didn't embrace their value system. They didn't seem open to learning by observing people who made different decisions.
3. They had social programs down pat - every available dollar or food stamp or form of assistance was availed upon.
4. They would spend money on hair and nails, but not on car repair or savings or a decent mattress for a child.
5. They would shop at Walmart and buy the cheapest kids' clothes on the planet, but didn't bother shopping at resale stores.
6. They had plenty of money for beer and cigarettes and crack cocaine and weed.
7. Children suffered greatly in this environment. It was not unusual for a child to have a mayo sandwich as their only meal for the day, while their mother was getting her nails done that afternoon.
Nutrition (or the lack thereof) plays such a huge role in the potential for people in this environment. How can kids even have a chance when their health and wellbeing is so disrespected and treated with such casual dismissal? Child abuse and sexual abuse was rampant.
It was very distressing.
People DO get out of these scenarios, which proves that they can if they put their minds to it. For instance, the man I married (we later divorced) is now a LT COL in the Army. I have several nieces from that family who have married good men or joined the military and have moved far away from that environment and are making good lives for themselves.
But in all those cases, it starts with making WISE CHOICES. The resources are there, but people often sabotage themselves and create their own failures.
Sorry if my post seems stereotypical - but I have seen this environment first hand. After two days in it, I determined that there was NO WAY I was going to raise a family in that situation. My husband joined the military within about a year and we got the hell out of Dodge. It was the best decision he ever made and he has built a very successful and respectable career, and racked up three college degrees, thanks to Uncle Sam. He successfully broke the cycle and his kids and grandkids are not being raised in poverty - and the likelihood of them becoming like their dad's relatives is slim. They've been raised to make better choices and ARE making better choices.
While I agree there are many poor (often multi-generational welfare types) that fit your stereotypical description, there are many more people who are poor because of sheer bad luck.
Try dealing with a catastrophe like a flood, tornado or fire that wipes out everything you've accumulated over a lifetime and then have to replace it all. You would be surprised to know that FEMA does not hand out money to everyone affected. Often they must take out loans from SBA in order to get back on their feet, putting them in an even more precarious position financially.
During the recent economic downturn, it was very common for one spouse to lose their job, then the other spouse's business would close, leaving them both without a decent income. Financial problems often lead to a divorce, cutting potential income in half. Illness not only saps a person's energy and ability to find work, but also incurs many medical bills that take a large chunk of someone's paycheck.
Sometimes people put every available penny in a business venture that does not work out for whatever reason.
For people living in a rural area they may have limited opportunities for work, and transportation may be unreliable. Making the move to an area with more jobs is the answer, however, it can be near impossible with hardly enough money to cover day to day expenses.
A lot of people judge the poor and feel they are morally inferior to those who are better off financially. Years on this earth has shown me that there are MANY reasons for poverty, and not all of them are the fault of the poor person. S*** happens, and it often hits people in their wallets.
Sorry if my post seems stereotypical - but I have seen this environment first hand. After two days in it, I determined that there was NO WAY I was going to raise a family in that situation.
First, it IS a stereotype, not a fair and objective observation. How do I know? Because, in your own words, you had a grand total of forty-eight hours of direct experience before making your determination. Forty-eight hours cannot begin to provide anyone - you, me, them - with a true understanding of that "situation" (the proper term, I think, is "culture.") You viewed it thru the lens of your own culture, and your conclusions were based on the values of that very same culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
My husband joined the military within about a year and we got the hell out of Dodge. It was the best decision he ever made and he has built a very successful and respectable career, and racked up three college degrees, thanks to Uncle Sam.
Excellent. Now consider those people, from the same neighborhood, who did not have the advantages your husband had.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
... his kids and grandkids are not being raised in poverty - and the likelihood of them becoming like their dad's relatives is slim. They've been raised to make better choices and ARE making better choices.
I think you underestimate your own influence. Could it be that direct, personal and long-time association with you, AND YOUR CULTURE, may possibly have shown your husband that there was, in fact, another way?
There is an old saying: "The longest journey begins with a single step." I submit that there is not one, but TWO steps that are required The first, unheralded step is the realization THAT THE JOURNEY IS POSSIBLE.
Matthew 7: 1-2 -- "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
I didn't read through all posts, so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but people like to believe that bad situations in other's lives are their own fault in some way.
This makes then feel like it can't happen to them.
I didn't read through all posts, so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but people like to believe that bad situations in other's lives are their own fault in some way.
This makes then feel like it can't happen to them.
Excellent point. Its a type of denial, one of the most common ego defense mechanisms.
Or you can turn that thought around and say, "My troubles are of my own making."
Otherwise, I'm a victim and this fell upon me.
In my experience, my troubles are of my own making is a statement of hope because if the world is responsible for my success, then I am truly effed.
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Great Post!
