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I agree with you, but let me add that many people don't even care for their friends and family. A lot of people I encounter are nice on the surface but after a while you figure out that they could honestly not give two craps about you. Most of the people I work with are like that. They may smile and make small talk, but it is all fake. Most people these days don't genuinely care for each other. That's something I've picked up on as I've gotten older.
This is so true. Envy and competition prevents majority of the people to be friends with others.
Long ago, I came to the conclusion that most people in general don't care for anyone outside of their circle of friends and family. They may claim otherwise, or they may volunteer to prove a political point, but truth be told, they don't care about anything outside of their home.
There's so much suffering just in this country alone that people turn the other cheek to. So many people are poor and destitute and have no one and no options. People in general just don't care. They say they do, but it's all superficial. The crux is that people only care about themselves and those who meet their needs (immediate family, close friends).
I disagree.
Look at the Relationships forum on CD. You think people would spend time helping others if they didn't care?
Sometimes people care to the capacity they are able to.
In general, I think most people care. At some level, they are aware of the pain and suffering of others and out of empathy or compassion they wish for others not to suffer as well.
And, I will argue that altruism (ex- helping a stranger out of a car accident) isn't purely out of selfish reasons. There is a concept of people helping one another because collectively, we're still human, and like other animals in the animal kingdom, we are also pack creatures who help to maintain the herd so to speak. One person falls, so does the other. Not everyone is out for themselves. And for those who are, I'd argue they're the least fittest for survival. No one can survive by themselves.
Location: West Los Angeles and Rancho Palos Verdes
13,583 posts, read 15,664,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kat949
Look at the Relationships forum on CD. You think people would spend time helping others if they didn't care?
Perhaps they enjoy the feeling they get by seeming to be knowledgeable. It helps their ego, seeing themselves as sagely. They may also enjoy the praise they may receive from others. People like to be praised by others because it makes them feel accepted and loved. So then, they may offer advice simply to nourish themselves.
Exactly. Those types get the life sucked out of them. Once people discover a caring type, they will suck 'em dry. I've seen it happen time and time again. And guess who is there for the ones sucked dry? Zip. Zero. Nada. No one, except perhaps their Maker.
There is some truth here. Especially when two people want the same thing. What was once two 'good people', becomes a political cat and mouse game of how can I make myself more attractive for the job/ man/ woman/ or whatever the 'good person' is seeking. Then, when the better person wins their prize, they go back to being the good samaritan, untill competition for something they desire again comes along. And the sad part is, many people look the other way when a loved one is committing questionable moral/ethical tactics.
Not EVERYONE is bad. But the bad people, the enablers, and the do nothingers severely outweigh the good people of the world.
How many tragedies have to occur on the day after thanksgiving before America stops and thinks, "I hurting/ fighting my neighbor really worth a few hundred dollars?"
FWIW, I will NEVER go after a door buster store sale on black friday. Not because I'm afraid to mix it up, because I don' think the fight or injury and time spent in line over night is worth, I mean come on, how much are people really saving ? 100, 200, 500 dollars ?
If it was up to me, I would make the door buster sales in America illegal. It's so sad to hear about someone getting hurt the day after they celebrated family and togetherness just less than 24 hours before the incident.
I want what I want and I don't care what I have to do to get it seems to be the most common theme anymore.
Very few people care.
A few people care for ulterior motives (to use a trite example, for my friend's Colombian wife, I was a match-up commodity, and never ONCE did I comply)
Most people don't care.
Long ago, I came to the conclusion that most people in general don't care for anyone outside of their circle of friends and family. They may claim otherwise, or they may volunteer to prove a political point, but truth be told, they don't care about anything outside of their home.
There's so much suffering just in this country alone that people turn the other cheek to. So many people are poor and destitute and have no one and no options. People in general just don't care. They say they do, but it's all superficial. The crux is that people only care about themselves and those who meet their needs (immediate family, close friends).
Well i'm not ashamed to admit it, I generally don't really care about others and I don't really care who thinks it's selfish. If it isn't my husband, my parents, my grandmother, myself or my dog...I could care less. I have so much going on all the time, and so much to do that I simply just don't have time time, or energy worry about what goes on outside my little circle of people. I can barely keep up with my little circle let alone deal with everyone else and take on every one elses problems as well.
There's so much suffering just in this country alone that people turn the other cheek to. So many people are poor and destitute and have no one and no options. People in general just don't care. They say they do, but it's all superficial. The crux is that people only care about themselves and those who meet their needs (immediate family, close friends).
So what about you? You talk about all the strangers who are poor and destitute and have no one and no options. I know what I have done but I wonder from the wording of your post whether you've actively done anything to show the caring towards those strangers? As you pointed out, just saying you care means little, as does berating others for not proving to you that they care. It doesn't make the poor less poor and destitute and it doesn't give them any more options.
People suck often because they have had it easy (for example they're wealthy) but sometimes it is warranted. I agree with picklejuice (nice username btw if you're reading this post). I used to be somewhat of a people pleaser and it's probly what helped jump start being screwed over but I have since tried to fix that about myself, though it's like being a criminal. once you are deemed a people pleaser it seems very difficult to break that rep even though you know you're not that anymore.
you can't please or care about everyone all the time. it's like how people were mad that people were upset about Connecticut but not what went on in China. why is that so wrong? of course the people are going to gravitate towards that because it's more personal since it's closer to home. I don't think the people in China would expect the Americans to care about them. in fact they may even expect you not to because I know if a random person particularly halfway across the world acted like they care about me, I would see it as fake. I just don't get the need to care SO MUCH. people die everyday, sometimes even before their time. it's a sad fact of life.
also why the guilt for not helping charities? someone on my online college forum (of course this is the college we all know has a bad rep so I guess it makes sense) tried to give me grief for not doing anything for that homeless guy. sorry but I think the homeless guy needs more than just my encouraging words and how was I supposed to give him something positive when I was mostly only better off than him because of the government? how can people honestly think positive words that you don't believe yourself be better than saying nothing at all? then again society expects you to even donate when you don't have it.
that being said, if I post something I do hope that at least one person cares enough to give me advice if I ask for help but I don't expect much and I do not care either way about those "I'm sorry you're going through this".
basically it's nice to help when you can and don't hurt people but don't stress out about it as stress can literally kill you.
I do think though that friends and family need to care about each other but they don't always. in my life, few people care and the ones that do don't really get me/can help me so I can certainly attest to this, though I should be used to it by now.
other people that I think needs to care are community members. I don't know if this is the case for anyone here but I know in my city the police here are stupid as well as some people in social services. I think sometimes even the doctors don't care as much as they should, whether it's an office or a hospital. I realize people are in a business for money but when you're in a business to serve people there is no excuse. I find it really strange too because it seems the more these people can help the less chance they care. I wish these people could care like the people at the Denny's here seems to genuinely care about their customers. then again it's the evils of money right but as for social services, do they even make a lot?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Josef the Chewable
I think to a great extent you're right, but wouldn't it be rather unnatural for things to be otherwise? People have only started to travel widely in the last few centuries, which is a miniscule portion of the time in which humans have been on this earth. The idea of favoring self, family, and tribe, frequently in opposition to outside groups, has been our heritage for thousands of years, and is a natural expression of our instinct to promote the survival of our selves and our progeny.
At least now, with mass communications and travel, people are able to "see that we're all one human tribe" to a certain extent, although that idea is often too abstract to generate genuine compassion. I feel the best we can do is to have a general sense of goodwill (or at least, not ill-will) towards others. It's also a positive thing when societies allow situations, like free markets, to develop, scenarios where "selfishness" can benefit society as a whole.
The scope of human suffering is so vast that I think even well-intentioned, more empathetic types can get overwhelmed. And frankly, we have to recognize that a lot of, perhaps most, people are going to be primarily driven by self-interest most of the time.
This is a great post.
I would also pose the question. Does what you do in your private life with your loved ones, close ones, colleagues affect wider society as a whole?
To me, 'caring about others' isn't only about donating to charities, or being nice to people. Sure these are good but things like recycling for the sake of the environment and thus the world and humanity, how you practice your business ethnics and how that affects the economy and everybody else. We truly aren't islands as we affect everyone else through the 'butterfly' effect.
Like you say, however, we're often not aware of this because for thousands of years humans did not live in such an interconnected world. Your choice to buy that laptop affects poor factory workers in China. Giving a damn starts with REALISING how your actions affect others. Then you can step out and pro-actively affect people's lives for the better.
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One person falls, so does the other. Not everyone is out for themselves. And for those who are, I'd argue they're the least fittest for survival. No one can survive by themselves.
