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All I care about in life is being successful compared to my friends, family and acquaintances. I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy. I especially want to be more successful than a few people in particular. For some reason I feel like I'm in competition with them. I resent them and need to get back at them by being more successful. I have certain conditions for what I consider success and I can only continue living if I feel that I'm progressing towards fulfilling those meeting those conditions.
I would rather actually BE "smart, funny, healthy and happy" than "want to be seen as" such.
Being authentic to who and what you are, without regard to other's opinions is supremely rewarding and freeing.
To compare yourself to others and actually resent them for their success...seems sad.
But, if that is your catalyst to live a successful and happy life. More power to you.
All I care about in life is being successful compared to my friends, family and acquaintances. I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy. I especially want to be more successful than a few people in particular. For some reason I feel like I'm in competition with them. I resent them and need to get back at them by being more successful. I have certain conditions for what I consider success and I can only continue living if I feel that I'm progressing towards fulfilling those meeting those conditions.
So how do you plan to discontinue living when your conditions are not met? Suicide?
It doesn't sound like you have left any space for the inevitable missteps and setbacks along the way. Such rigidity seems like a setup for disappointment and misery.
All I care about in life is being successful compared to my friends, family and acquaintances. I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy. I especially want to be more successful than a few people in particular. For some reason I feel like I'm in competition with them. I resent them and need to get back at them by being more successful. I have certain conditions for what I consider success and I can only continue living if I feel that I'm progressing towards fulfilling those meeting those conditions.
You may want to seek some professional counseling. What you are describing sounds like psychopathic tendencies.
Life is not a competition, and if you measure success in terms of financial gains you are missing out on what is most important.
Resentment of other peoples success is especially disturbing as that is classic anti social behavior.
Materialism is a cult and like any cult the people who follow it do so at the sacrifice of their own freedom and independence.
All I care about in life is being successful compared to my friends, family and acquaintances. I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy. I especially want to be more successful than a few people in particular. For some reason I feel like I'm in competition with them. I resent them and need to get back at them by being more successful. I have certain conditions for what I consider success and I can only continue living if I feel that I'm progressing towards fulfilling those meeting those conditions.
I commend you on your goals. I wish you wanted them just because tho.
But, that could change as you reach the "smart and happy", goal...then
wisdom should settle in and others will be there to be helped, not resented.
Good luck, really Many people don't have these positive goals...they are just
living in default mode, drifting.
All I care about in life is being successful compared to my friends, family and acquaintances. I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy. I especially want to be more successful than a few people in particular. For some reason I feel like I'm in competition with them. I resent them and need to get back at them by being more successful. I have certain conditions for what I consider success and I can only continue living if I feel that I'm progressing towards fulfilling those meeting those conditions.
I want to be seen as smart, funny, healthy and happy.
You have no control over how other people choose to "see" you. You can walk on water and part the seas and people can still decide that you are some sort of loser ... or can disrespect you enough to betray you, take advantage of you, etc.
Of course that cuts both ways. You can be a toad-touche and people can still choose to think the best of you.
Rather than jumping up and down and shouting, "hey, notice me!", just genuinely be your best self and let the chips fall where they may. The ONLY person whose opinion matters ultimately is your own. I made plenty of mistakes in life but because I can truthfully say that I was always true to the light I had at any given moment in time, my conscience is clear. Go for something like that and quit waiting for people to rubber-stamp you.
You can't do that if you're looking for schadenfreude all the time.
So how do you plan to discontinue living when your conditions are not met? Suicide?
It doesn't sound like you have left any space for the inevitable missteps and setbacks along the way. Such rigidity seems like a setup for disappointment and misery.
Who says life must be more negative than positive?
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