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It depends if the guy is raped by another guy, an ugly woman, or an attractive woman.
The first would be the most traumatic, the middle very traumatic, and the last one minimally or not traumatic.
With all due respect, you don't know what you're talking about.
I'm a heterosexual male and have been reasonably healthy/virile all of my life. I have never been raped, but in the early 1980's I was subjected to a fairly lengthy period of quid-pro-quo sexual harassment by my boss -- a female who, under other circumstances, I would have considered to be very attractive. So, I suspect, would you.
The trauma was just as real, just as hurtful, as it would have been if the harassment came from a man or ugly woman.
I think PTSD exists but is vastly over exaggerated in popular society for both combat/war and rape. Yes, I said rape.
And no, I don't think the vast amount of combat veterans and rape victims are "messed up for life." Temporarily perhaps with PTSD but I think most people mentally heal from that in one form or another. And I don't equate being "a changed person" with being traumatized forever.
Some do suffer with PTSD with varying degrees for the rest of their lives. And I don't envy them. But I've been told--and I believe--PTSD is rare among humans that experience trauma. But I'm around lots of military veterans that get approved for PTSD for "stupid sh*t." Most have substance abuse problems and blame that on the government/rapist etc. I know one vet trying to get PTSD for boot camp--he's a happier camper than I am with wife etc... but doesn't want to work, and is already service connected for several different things he claims wrong with his body.
I have very little respect for psychology. It's up there with alchemy except alchemy was probably more of a physical science. Psychology is pretty much run by interest parties and politics so far as I can tell.
I'm sure I could get PTSD compensated (and diagnosed) if I wanted too for war, for bullet injuries in civilian life, and for sexual abuse (sodomy). But I don't seek either the diagnoses nor the compensation.
Lots of people get slapped in the face. Food for thought. Lots of people get injured in motorcycle and sports accidents. Food for thought. Lots of people get beaten up. Food for thought. Lots of gay men get screwed in their butt. Food for thought. Everyone has regrets, resentments, and bad memories. Food for thought.
Sex before and outside of marriage is sinful. Sodomy is sinful. Rape is sinful. Not all of it will lead to life long trauma though. The most traumatic thing that happened to me was years of treatment by American women. More specifically Black-American women. I'd go through 10,000 sodomization and a million Vietnams before I'd go back through that. I'm sure that does not make the psychologists lists of "traumas" though.
Having sex with someone without that person's consent is unlawful and traumatizing, no matter which gender is raping the other. Since there was no penetration it would be hard to get definitive evidence to prove that he was indeed forcefully assaulted, but he could still take it to court and have the woman arrested. Bodily proof can be hard to come by in any rape case, but defendants have been prosecuted successfully without it nevertheless.
Does anyone remember that story a few years ago about the woman who forced two guys to orally pleasure her? If not, google Michelle Lee Williams. She ended up charged with domestic assault and served 90 days in jail. To me, therein lies the problem: this country doesn't take female-on-male rape as seriously as all the other gender combinations of rape (m/m, m/f, f/f). If we treated all cases of nonconsensual sex the same, that woman would have been jailed a lot longer.
I think the social stigma around a man being a victim of rape is enough to greatly compound the trauma he's likely to suffer from the incident itself. So, in that way it's different than the emotional effect on a woman. I won't say it's worse or not as bad, but it's definitely a little different.
As for your question about the guy's erection, that doesn't mean he wanted it. Women can show the physical symptoms of arousal in rape as well, but that certainly doesn't mean they want it either. A man's erection and a woman's vaginal lubrication can occur involuntarily.
I have very little respect for psychology. It's up there with alchemy except alchemy was probably more of a physical science.
If this is true, then perhaps it would be a good idea to find another venue for your self-expression. Continuing to do so on a board labeled "Psychology" is merely likely to further increase your frustration...
Also, theoretically speaking, a woman can put on a strap-on dilldo and use it to rape this guy from the behind, if you catch my drift here.
I gotcha! Yep, that's completely possible, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunStorm
The most traumatic thing that happened to me was years of treatment by American women. More specifically Black-American women. I'd go through 10,000 sodomization and a million Vietnams before I'd go back through that. I'm sure that does not make the psychologists lists of "traumas" though.
It's also about perception. You being violated was something that you knew was wrong.
Now, let's take Chris Brown for instance, he said that he lost his virginity at 8 and that we shouldn't be outraged because things are different in the countryside. Now, most people would say that he was violated by whoever did that to him.
But since CB (and other black boys who experienced the same thing) didn't think anything was wrong with that, it's completely normal. Whereas, white parents at this age have already told their kids "Don't let anyone touch you there."
It's also about perception. You being violated was something that you knew was wrong.
Now, let's take Chris Brown for instance, he said that he lost his virginity at 8 and that we shouldn't be outraged because things are different in the countryside. Now, most people would say that he was violated by whoever did that to him.
But since CB (and other black boys who experienced the same thing) didn't think anything was wrong with that, it's completely normal. Whereas, white parents at this age have already told their kids "Don't let anyone touch you there."
Um, if you look at the list of famous black men who admit to having had sexual experiences at a very young age, it doesn't seem as "normal" as you seem to think it is. Off the top of my head, Chris Brown isn't exactly well-adjusted and Richard Pryor developed a raging drug problem. Sure, other environmental factors may have contributed, but I once saw an article on this that listed out famous people who had sexual experiences at young ages (and the list was dominated by black men), and I remember thinking "oh, so that's why those celebs had/have so many issues." The number of people on that list who had had very public struggles with drugs, violence or mental illness approached 100%.
OP, as the majority of these posts indicate, YES men can be raped and suffer just as much as any woman if it happens to them.
Any time someone does something negative to another person without their consent (whether implied or explicit), the victim is liable to have a reaction. Anytime someone is made to feel powerless and without choice, it's going to chip away at them.
You might also want to consider associating with people who are, well, less ignorant than your "friend." He doesn't exactly sound like a winner.
The very first time I heard about this was from my neighbor. Several years ago, his male friend was going out with his date on a club. He suddenly felt dizzy and only wakes up to see himself tied up and having sex.
He was a then 20 year-old and till this day my neighbor tells me he's all messed up to the point he refuses to date and has become distrustful. He doesn't want to report and is ashamed to say it was his date, a woman.
I told one of my friend this and he told me that it should only be considered rape if a fat and/or woman or another guy does it. I don't know. But I still think if it's something against your will, you feel violated and they're still having sex with you, it's rape to me. Though not sure how a court would classified this as since it's not penetration.
Another I'm wondering is how did that woman still got him hard? This I don't get. If we're drugged then wouldn't we still be soft.
So if rape happens to a guy is the aftermath as strongly as it were if the rape were female? The friend I told shared this to told me that guy should get over it esp if the woman was pretty. And then proceeded on saying that if he still got an erection then he wanted it. Lastly, why would a woman want to rape? A rapist does it because he's sick and wants power and control but what purpose would a female rapist have?
I don't believe in this particular story at all. Either your neighbor or that "raped" guy were lying that it was happen for real. Rather it was a secret BDSM like kinky fantasy of one of them than real thing.
Some kinky people experience a true emotional pleasure when they describe their unfulfilled sexual wish as it happened to them for real. And you don't have to be a professional psychologist to know this naughty side of human nature. So, since it's wild violent sexual fantasy, it's irrelevant to discuss about a raped man trauma here.
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