Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Watch how I flip this around and still make sense.
The term - homophobia - was invented to fill a need to describe people the gay culture think they know all about and then extrapolate their limited knowledge onto an entire population.
It's a ridiculous statement on the face of it. Gays grow up in an environment completely geared toward the needs and thinking of the heterosexual majority. How could we NOT know all about it?
We're done here. I'm not interested in debating stuff with people who liken gays to rotten food and then say they're not homophobes .
I personally know a couple of young women who suffered significant sexual abuse and mistreatment by men, when they were young girls and teens. They are now in relationships with other women. I do believe there are situations where women will gravitate toward a lesbian relationship because they feel too threatened by men.
Yes, I have heard of this too. It seems to sometimes happen for abused women that way...but I don't think it really happens for abused men that way.
There's also a high rate of suicide, drug abuse, VD and alcoholism. Pressure from hetero society might have something to do with it.
Yes to all of those. Depression among gay men is off the charts as well. I'm sure pressure/rejection from straight society exacerbates these problems. At the same time, I do think we have to be careful about blaming all our problems on straight society. Minority groups have a tendency to blame all their problems on the dominant group instead of taking constructive action to improve their situation....so we have to be wary of that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by geos
The good news is just like with AIDS the gay community does a good job of supporting ourselves. My friend basically lives from support group to support group.
I haven't always found that gays are always supportive but it depends on where you live, your own personality, your own ability to reach out and seek help, etc. I'm glad things are working out as well as can be expected for your friend.
I think the real question is why heterosexuals are so obsessed with gays...
Something I have noticed is that younger men (late teens, 20's) are obsessed about knowing the sexual orientation of young men they meet. They will "interrogate" other men they meet with questions as to if they have a girlfriend, wife, etc.
But older men do not do this and could care less.
Note the sexual drive in younger men is high and lower when they get older.
I think it’s much more common for women than for men. I have a friend who has always been chubby. She was the fat girl in school and has serious body image issues. She had a 25 year same-sex relationship that quickly became non-sexual (also rather common for lesbians). After her partner died she started dating men—and enjoying a very active sex life. I’m sure she was always on the bisexual spectrum, but when I asked her about her relationship she started crying as said: “I was never fat to her.” (i.e., her partner) Her same-sex relationship was not really about the sex but being accepted physically.
Ironically gay men have exactly the opposite problem. If you’re out of shape it’s much easier to pick up a woman than a gay man.
I think some of you are making this more complicated than it has to be about one's sexuality and other things. A few points....
Most guys don't go gay because they cant get with a women, most guys just keep trying to find the woman he wants or he settles.
Gay relationships are not any easier than straight ones. I also thought this way when I first came out, but that myth was quickly squashed when I was in my first relationship.
Yes there is a such thing as long term gay relationships, but that takes two people who are matured and want to make it work. There are a lot of guys who think they want to be in a relationship, and those who want to be in a relationship because their friends are one. Both of those will lead to absolute disaster.
There is someone for everyone, really. A lot of gay men have un-realistic expectations in what they are looking for in a mate, which will ultimately lead to being alone later in life. Nobody is perfect, and to expecting such will lead to disappointment every time.
Sexual abuse sometimes seems to be a trigger for homosexuality (note that I said, sometimes). Assuming that is true in some cases, it certainly wouldn't qualify as a "choice" or "alternative".
Yes to all of those. Depression among gay men is off the charts as well. I'm sure pressure/rejection from straight society exacerbates these problems. At the same time, I do think we have to be careful about blaming all our problems on straight society. Minority groups have a tendency to blame all their problems on the dominant group instead of taking constructive action to improve their situation....so we have to be wary of that.
I haven't always found that gays are always supportive but it depends on where you live, your own personality, your own ability to reach out and seek help, etc. I'm glad things are working out as well as can be expected for your friend.
IMO I don't think pressure from straight society is the major cause for depression among gay men. I think most of it is self inflicted. The often un reachable expectations some of us put on ourselves will lead to disappointment a lot, and sadly its often media driven. If you listen to the media gay men will....
Come out and find a BF within 24-48 hrs, and this guy will be a ken doll look alike even though your just an average looking guy yourself
All other life issues and problems instantly go away just cause.
Wrap your entire life around who you sleep with, and when someone calls you out on that your instantly offended.
So I've always been curious about this issue and wanted to get some feedback from others. I have an old friend (30years) who is gay and he once told me that he believes that homosexuality is lifestyle choice for many in the GLBT community. I'm sure, of course, that genetics/DNA may predispose some/to homosexuality, but assuming it is a lifestyle choice for others, to what extent do you believe it could be a result of their failed efforts or inability to connect with women romantically or intimately, or at least partly due to it. Like my friend, he said that he was exposed to porn at adult video stores (arcades) at a very young age and that exposure turned him off to being attracted woman ever since. So, it is possible that many men's lack of obtaining girlfriends, getting laid, or have no/limited romantic and intimate experience encourages them to accept homosexuality as a socially acceptable alternative lifestyle to satisfy their basic human need for intimacy???
This is a serious question, particularly with the recent social acceptance of a GBLT community, is it acceptable for guys to consider the gay/bi lifestyle if they can't or don't want to deal with the issues of rejection, approach anxiety, forever friendzoned, etc. that comes with modern dating hazards??? Like many here on this forum seeking answers to they lonely hearts?
And, FYI, I had a couple of homosexual experiences in my early 20s but it was just experimental and that experience helped confirm my hetero sexual preference and have never had any interest in gay encounters since. Just in case you thought I was trolling...
Thoughts??
My thoughts are that you don't have even an elementary-level understanding of sexuality. You cannot put on/take off your sexuality, neither can experiences in your life change your sexuality. Maybe you should work on your interpersonal skills when it comes to the opposite sex, because I guarantee you that will be the easier route to take.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
