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I found what you had to say interesting and am still trying to absorb all of it.
I do stand by my statement, though, that its not that hard to get a heterosexual woman unless there is some type of psychological blockage going on with said heterosexual man. I do agree that men are less discriminatory with women, and though I'm not a man and I am a heterosexual woman, I've witnessed men who weren't attractive by social media standards be awash in women or have at least one that he went steady with and/or got to marry him... and I've seen attractive men have trouble. One could chalk it up to a combination of personality, personal style, facial expressions, pheromones, etc. but if one is a relatively decisive, emotionally healthy, mentally reasonable, kind, decent, open man with no personal hygiene problems, there is absolutely an American woman who would accept him.
Your statement about American women is interesting too -- lol. I think American culture creates superficiality (there are others too, but I'm not going to get into that here) in people, and yes, some American women are incredible superficial. That said, for every 5 superficial ones there's at least one or two who aren't. It would be interesting to know what part of the country you live in and what venues you're using to try and attract women, because I don't believe it is as hard as you say UNLESS there is some type of psychological block going on and your vibes are off putting.
There are some wonderful, attractive, sweet, kind, attentive, decent women out there that are emotionally healthy (and many who are not!) who would accept any man just to say that they have one.
No... there's psych blockage there.
I think you're missing something regarding not realizing it truly is difficult for some heterosexual men to get women. You seem to acknowledge it without realizing it in what you wrote above. I mean, you wrote "as long as a man meets x, x, and x criteria, he should have no problem getting women"...well, what about the men who do not quite meet that criteria? Oh, and while I don't agree with everything the other poster was saying, I think he was write that it would be much easier for a guy to get gay sex than straight sex.
I found what you had to say interesting and am still trying to absorb all of it.
I do stand by my statement, though, that its not that hard to get a heterosexual woman unless there is some type of psychological blockage going on with said heterosexual man.
Spare me the horse sh*t. I'm not the naïve, gullible 20 year-old I once was, I've been around. I could easily blame female rape victims or American women having difficulty attracting men for their woes. No American woman would appreciate it though.
I was raised to blame myself, and did so exceptionally well for decades. Tried changing myself 20 different ways with 20 different American individuals opinions. Then I recognized one day that all these opinions are merely subjective--especially as two Americans can contradict themselves on what is "right" for a "good man." Then there is American culture. If American culture and her people can only ever be right in their collective group thoughts then that would mean back the 1950s every prevailing cultural view about gays, blacks, and women were right. So, just because some dumba** American woman today believes every prevailing cultural view held as sacred dogma (e.g., gay men = "great men," bisexual men = "no good men," and hetero men that take the moral courage to publicly call homosexual sexual acts immoral sexual behavior = "evil, no good, pieces of sh*t men not worthy of dating an American woman) is objective truth, does not make it so. American history suggests some of the prevailing views of every age in the USofA must be wrong--never has American culture been 100% right.
Here's my "blockage" as you call it. Two real life cases that occurred to me.
1. A gay guy on crack cocaine sexually attracted to me buried his face in my bare bottom and went to town with his tongue, and as enthusiastic as he was he apparently was sexually aroused and pleased.
2. An impoverished Black-American woman (that by her own admission loves thuggish men) that worked a low paying, non-skilled job, with a skin disease that made her arms hard like rock and sharp enough to cut your (mine) skin, swinging with both men and women, chose a fat, butch, crack-head woman that routinely beat her a** and took her money for crack smoking, over me. Oh, I forgot, I'm such a bad person according to Americans .
I regard case 1 as myself and the other man engaging in immoral sexual conduct. Although I was not "into it" as him, I still was acting immorally.
I regard case 2 as the woman's choices and perception as retarded. Period. In the world of addiction, recovery, they press upon you to challenge irrational thoughts. In regular American society the culture does the exact opposite and presses upon her children and adults to have 0 impulse control and seek the two political parties out for commentary on what "real life" is and what one ought to think. Ergo, American men and women have and engrained in cultural notion that in case 2 the woman's choice/perception was sacred, right, and true because she is a woman. And women/girls can't be wrong in the United States. And it's "easy" to get a girl/woman in the USofA because all any of them want is a "nice guy." According to U.S. lies.
No nation in the history of planet earth has produced so many lies and propaganda as that of the United States of America.
Online, American women will get outraged at me if I state homosexuality is immoral, and irrational ultimately (unless the goal is purely the ends of sexual pleasure/gratification, then it's not irrational). They assume I do not grasp the "holy" pleasure that comes from a gay man burying his face in your butt and using his tongue. But I've lived through and experienced their dumba** gay sex first hand. It bring no more "intrinsic wisdom" than heterosexual sex. And most heterosexuals are addicted to sex.
Today I'm smart enough to know the solution to my problem lies outside the United States. Ergo, my desire for a Latina from Latin America that shares my same values. One that will inspire me to be a better man. One that will give me moral support in my objective to continue self improvement. One that will be a good mother.
I have 0 respect for American women. All they have shown me is hatred, intolerance, being overly judgmental, and constantly demanding that I come to "understand them" whilst never giving one damned second to understanding me.
As a rule of thumb American women have no moral courage either. And traditionally men were expected to have physical courage, to defend women bodily, and women were expected to have moral courage, especially regarding sex, as men are physically stronger than women but morally weaker than them especially per sexual issues. Yet, I'm fare more morally courageous than American women.
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I do agree that men are less discriminatory with women, and though I'm not a man and I am a heterosexual woman, I've witnessed men who weren't attractive by social media standards be awash in women or have at least one that he went steady with and/or got to marry him... and I've seen attractive men have trouble. One could chalk it up to a combination of personality, personal style, facial expressions, pheromones, etc. but if one is a relatively decisive, emotionally healthy, mentally reasonable, kind, decent, open man with no personal hygiene problems, there is absolutely an American woman who would accept him.
Blah, blah, blah. Physically unattractive men with money or high social status have attractive looking women. What's new. So what.
And I don't smell bad. I also don't look like an ugly duckling. I've attracted very attractive looking American women to me. How attractive? Attractive enough drug dealers and alpha males in business and professional sports would/have chased after these women.
I prefer to speak online with no photos as I know American women (and men) are the moron types that make assumptions a sacred dogma they live by. And they will prove me right. By my diction and tone you'll assume I'm some ugly duckling, or have poor hygiene (my hygiene is so good I not only groom around my genitals I shave the hair inside my butt cheeks), or never been to college, never had a job, can't spell my name, beat up women, am verbally abusive and so on and so on. All horse sh*t. In fact partly fueling my anger is that had I been born or living in another country (like England or some African nation) I would have been regarded as a alpha male and "good catch" in my early 20's. Whereas in the culture of the United States I was regarded as an omega male which is essentially being a piece of sh*t in American culture.
I also dress better than 90% of you Americans that never had a drug or alcohol problem. And I'm more fit than most American teenagers. I know this from out running them at the boxing gym I used to attend. I know it from other ways as well. Certainly I'm in better shape than 98% of the American men my age with their typical big guts. Not that I'm the most fit American man, as I'm not, but I'm just pointing out I'm far from some obese or weakly American male.
I look nothing like David Chapels (spelling?) crack head character. And I graduated community college with honors. I look better in physique than that comedian too.
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Your statement about American women is interesting too -- lol. I think American culture creates superficiality (there are others too, but I'm not going to get into that here) in people, and yes, some American women are incredible superficial. That said, for every 5 superficial ones there's at least one or two who aren't. It would be interesting to know what part of the country you live in and what venues you're using to try and attract women, because I don't believe it is as hard as you say UNLESS there is some type of psychological block going on and your vibes are off putting.
There are some wonderful, attractive, sweet, kind, attentive, decent women out there that are emotionally healthy (and many who are not!) who would accept any man just to say that they have one.
No... there's psych blockage there.
There are no "wonderful... sweet, kind..." American women. They are hard. Some are more hard of heart than others. They are astronomically more judgmental than I am. They are in my opinion largely intolerant scum with an emotional maturity that does not much exceed that of a 10 year old boy.
Oh, there was a time I was stupid enough to believe this horse sh*t you're trying to sell me. But no greater teacher than life.
There are attentive American women but only to those men they like. For example, the Boston Bombers, the [possibly Catholic] American woman that betrayed Christ (lack of moral courage) to become Muslim, and blew and remained attentive to the bombing brother that was her husband.
Before she met that guy had I expressed fidelity to Christ and Madonna, acknowledged I was a sinner in need of repentance, expressed gratitude for what things I could access here in the United States (per building "human capital"--such boxing schools, language schools, musical schools etc.), and while not putting down 100% of the Islamic faith, expressed critical disagreement with Islamic teaching/values per marriage and their concept of "martyrdom" that American woman, like just about every one of them on this website, other websites, and on American streets, would have hated me.
So, spare me your horse sh*t.
And I'm no enemy of those Boston bombers or Islam or Al Qaida. Maybe God sent them. Certainly the United States and her people are evil enough, in my eyes.
Fact of the matter is that American gay men are more tolerant of American omega males such as myself. Hell, I could tell some of them that I regard homosexuality as immoral, they would still date me and f*ck me, all the while some pin head, heterosexual, liberal American woman is all extra animated in her hatred of me for speaking "heresy" against the modern sexual dogma of contemporary America that gay male sex is not just morally good but a mark of greatness and "true love."
I remember being on one gay male online discussion board, and my first day posting on the site a white American man (roughly my age) PM's me expressing a desire to bury his face in my bare butt (I had a racy photo of myself posted). He offered that I would not have to leave my chair as he would not only provide me that frequent of oral sex but that I could urinate in his mouth.
One enticing of an offer I must admit--given I'm morally corrupted myself. And I did engage in internet PM sex talk with him, until my conscience got to tormenting me. Then I apologized to him, begged his forgiveness, and begged the forgiveness of God in prayer.
There are other experience with gay American men. American women can not compete with them even on their best day. The gay men are more tolerant, more giving of themselves, and willing to welcome you in even American society discards you. American women hate you and revile you.
But... Christ asks one to take up their cross. And Christ and the Catholic Church are not "nationalistic," so, there is virtue and not vice in me seeking and gaining a wife of similar values in Latin America, Asia, Africa, or Eastern Europe. Period.
I don't think that a heterosexual man who is having a hard time with women should choose to be with a man romantically and sexually. That makes no sense. If you, as a heterosexual man, truly want to be with a woman and you aren't having much luck in that department then you should seek counseling to find out why. Its not that hard to find a woman. If meeting them in person is too hard for you, then going online via a decent dating site and creating a nice, honest profile that highlights your good points should work. If nothing is working then there is some type of psychological block that is preventing you from moving forward with women. That said, you 'experimenting' with homosexuality in your early twenties tells me that it was more than that. Had you been in your early teens, I would chock it up solely to curiosity. Being in your early 20s... that sounds more to me like you are probably gay or bi.
I'm sorry but that has been patently false in my experience. I find online dating much easier and finding another male online is at least 100 times easier. Men just don't impose the same kinds of difficulties as women when it comes to romantic interaction. They are more likely to accept your quirks and whatnot, but looks are generally more important than they are for women. I have also tried to get female attention via online dating with absolutely no success. Guys, on the other hand, would reach out to me often; however, it was not often that one of them was physically attractive to me. There have been many times I wished I could go straight, but even if I could interact with women properly, I can't see one wanting to be in a relationship with me given that my one and only ever relationship was with a guy. Would gay males hold a previous relationship with a woman against a potential mate? Trust me; very few would.
I think this does happen. Why any reasonable, intelligent person supposedly can't see this or won't acknowledge it, I do not know for sure. One idea I have though is that it would get in the way of certain rhetoric that tries to drill into everybody's head that gays are all "born that way" and that homosexuality is absolutely not a choice, and that makes suggesting any other ideas homophobic and unacceptable. The reason for that rhetoric? I guess it's somehow believed that if homosexuals are born that way, that it's not a choice, that somehow will make them more palatable and accepted by society. Another idea is that people don't want to believe in the possibility of fluidity in sexual orientation. Why? Maybe to protect them from facing that possibility within themselves, which I think could be considered homophobic. I am not citing sources, so people will have to look into it and think for themselves, but there is some evidence and acceptance in the scientific and research community that sexual orientation may, in fact, be fluid in women. I don't think that fluidity would be a simple process at all, but rather a deeply and intricately manifested psychological process.
You think this is "somehow" believed? That one is "born gay" is a ridiculous idea, but there's a reason the idea is out there. If you haven't noticed, there has been a truly incredible push towards mainstreaming homosexuality in recent years such that if it weren't for ever diminishing opposition on religious grounds, it would be very politically incorrect to consider homosexuality immoral, abnormal, or something that should not be accepted by society. I don't think it's technically correct, but there's certainly an involuntary predisposition towards homosexuality for those of us who partake in it. To what extent that can be overcome, I'm sure, varies from person to person, just as the causes of homosexuality likely vary from person to person. But this notion is too complicated for the average person to understand or accept. It's more expedient to simply present homosexuality as decided not a choice and even an inborn trait. It's been a tremendously successful way to make society come to accept homosexuality, and for that I'm grateful. Just a generation ago, even widespread secular acceptance of homosexuality would have been unthinkable. I'm always astounded by those who criticize the "gay lobby" especially as it pertains to certain issues such as gay marriage, but profess a somewhat libertarian toleration of homosexuality, as if they would hold this position without the influence of the "gay lobby" on modern society.
Actually, it's scientifically supported and completely logical. You never make a conscious decision of which people you will find attractive.
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Originally Posted by MOKAN
^I tend to believe your second sentence, but that can be true without being "born that way".
Yep. Very few things are purely inborn. I think it's hard to argue that there aren't any genetic factors that can predispose people to certain traits, such as homosexuality. But for it to actually be expressed or come to fruition requires a certain set of environmental factors. Also, it is actually a minority of scientists who believe that one is born with a certain sexual orientation and that upbringing doesn't factor in. And it is certainly not "scientifically supported." Refer to the section that discusses causes of homosexuality here: Sexual orientation, homosexuality and bisexuality
So I've always been curious about this issue and wanted to get some feedback from others. I have an old friend (30years) who is gay and he once told me that he believes that homosexuality is lifestyle choice for many in the GLBT community. I'm sure, of course, that genetics/DNA may predispose some/to homosexuality, but assuming it is a lifestyle choice for others, to what extent do you believe it could be a result of their failed efforts or inability to connect with women romantically or intimately, or at least partly due to it. Like my friend, he said that he was exposed to porn at adult video stores (arcades) at a very young age and that exposure turned him off to being attracted woman ever since. So, it is possible that many men's lack of obtaining girlfriends, getting laid, or have no/limited romantic and intimate experience encourages them to accept homosexuality as a socially acceptable alternative lifestyle to satisfy their basic human need for intimacy???
This is a serious question, particularly with the recent social acceptance of a GBLT community, is it acceptable for guys to consider the gay/bi lifestyle if they can't or don't want to deal with the issues of rejection, approach anxiety, forever friendzoned, etc. that comes with modern dating hazards??? Like many here on this forum seeking answers to they lonely hearts?
And, FYI, I had a couple of homosexual experiences in my early 20s but it was just experimental and that experience helped confirm my hetero sexual preference and have never had any interest in gay encounters since. Just in case you thought I was trolling...
Thoughts??
Sexuality isn't nearly that black-and-white. There's a wide spectrum.
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