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Regarding dating, keep the numbers simple. If you look at 5 women and 5 men, it's entirely possible that one man dates 2 women at the same time or over time. Something like this;
Man 1 dates woman 1
Man 1 dates woman 2
Man 2 dates women 3
Man 3 dates woman 4
Man 4 and man 5 don't date. Woman 5 doesn't date.
I'm not saying this is the rule, jut that it could play out that way.
How about:
Man 1 dates woman 1
Man 2 dates woman 1
Man 3 dates woman 2
Man 4 dates woman 3.
Woman 4 and 5 and man 5 don't date.
I have as much proof for this as you do your scenario. Pure speculation. You have yet to produce evidence. I at least came up with an article that debunks your theory that men outnumber women on dating websites. What evidence do you have? Everything I have read indicates that women are more likely to be dateless. According to the data I posted single women outnumber single men by over 12%. For every 1000 single men there are 1127 single women. If one in 10 women dates the same man as another woman, there are still plenty to go around.
Those women don't count. Only the "dateable" ones do. There are a fair group of invisible women, so how can they be sympathized with or included in the debate if they don't really exist.
That's the REAL problem. We aren't talking the number of available women. We're talking the number of women deemed dateable. I wonder what portion of the female population these men who whine they can't get a date write off before even saying hello?
Regarding dating, keep the numbers simple. If you look at 5 women and 5 men, it's entirely possible that one man dates 2 women at the same time or over time. Something like this;
Man 1 dates woman 1
Man 1 dates woman 2
Man 2 dates women 3
Man 3 dates woman 4
Man 4 and man 5 don't date. Woman 5 doesn't date.
I'm not saying this is the rule, jut that it could play out that way.
Here ya go... and article on Match.com that states that the odds favor men in dating. This is something women know from experience.
"Statistically, the find-someone odds favor guys: There are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women, although in some regions the gender ratio favors women, especially out west. Paradise, Nevada, a suburb 10 miles from Las Vegas, has 118 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women. Other cities where gals got it good include Austin, Texas; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Tempe, Arizona; and Sunnyvale and Santa Ana, California. A coincidental bonus for women thinking of relocating: All of these cities are sunny and warm. "
- See more at: Numbers about love that make a difference | Happen Magazine
According to this site, women's desirability peaks at the ripe old age of 21....While the odds are well in the guy's favor at 48. There's your 2:1 odds. It's in favor of men at age 48. Found it.
"
A woman’s desirablility online peaks at 21
At 26, Women have more online pursuers than men
By 48, Men have twice as many online pursuers as Women
"19 percent of women and 23 percent of men reported cheating, statistics that seem to reflect a closing of the cheating gender gap."
4% more men reported cheating. The means only 4% more men are dating more than one woman over women dating more than one man. There goes your theory that men are left dateless because multiple women are dating the same men. As I said before, 1 in 10 women (more than men that is) can date multiple partners and there are still enough women to go around for all those lonely men.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-17-2014 at 05:41 PM..
BUT SO ARE MEN!! There are men who want to be single and there are women who want to be single. There are men who share women and women who share men. Men hold out for better too. Men don't ask out undateable women because they are holding out for better. Seriously? This is your answer?
Very much so the case. I can't speak as to whether or not men want to be married/in LTR's at appreciably more of a rate than women do, but if men think modern women aren't still taught that their self-esteem value lies in the type of man they can "pull" for a mate, regardless of whether women can support themselves or not, they're not very plugged-in to female culture. I have also found that in addition to the fact that most women feel pressured to marry (I am lucky apparently in that my family has more tact than to ask me repeatedly), women want to be married even if they don't want or can't have children.
And yes, currently both genders are dating multiple people at a time, and you can't win regardless, because the last time I dated a nice guy whose looks I found lacking because I got drawn in by the nice-guy line, he asked me at the end of the first date if I would consider being exclusive with him. I mean, the first date! WTF is a woman supposed to say to that! If you say "yes", you've just de facto said "starting immediately" if no one has asked you out concurrently which he knows, and if you say "no" (which you better believe I did), he picked a fight! This is also a man who had a reasonable amount of success in his younger years and lived with at least two long-term girlfriends.
I also wonder if men have entirely thought through what happens if they get their "hot chick". The "hot chick" could be a high-maintenance nightmare. Or she could be a nice girl, but what if the man can't believe his luck to the point where he ruins a relationship? Can that inexperienced man guarantee he'll be pleased and not jealous when other men hit on her (because they most likely will)? Will they then be having conversations with the women like the one I outlined above, grabbing desperately for her exclusivity? It's a question I ask myself too, whether or not the dating drought will make me so inexperienced or desperate when I finally get one that I ruin the relationship.
That's the REAL problem. We aren't talking the number of available women. We're talking the number of women deemed dateable. I wonder what portion of the female population these men who whine they can't get a date write off before even saying hello?
Funnily enough, it's a common complaint that men don’t pay any attention to what women say on dating sites either. Not saying that some misguided women don’t write New Agey novels I wouldn’t put myself through reading about all their innermost thoughts and dreams, but I’m talking stuff like “multiple men approached me from California/Arizona/Vancouver, when I live in Florida/Maine, and had put in my profile that I wouldn’t date greater than 50 miles outside of my home area,” which would just take a quick skim at probably the most prominent section of their profile, to find out. And then these men don’t want to write anything more than “Hey, how YOU doin’?”, and similar as their introductory sally.
Again, if his profile picture doesn’t hint that he’s good-looking, what in his quip-you-could-write-to-anyone, and complete active ignoring of anything she wrote – in fact, probably going straight and solely for the picture and the drool factor – supposed to do to entice this particular woman to engage with him? Oh wait, clearly she’s supposed to go through and read his profile, so the two of them can have something to chat about while they “get to know” each other. Almost no man who contacted me for the 3 months I tried a dating site said one personal word to me in their intro; and really, how difficult is it to PM somebody “is that the Grand Canyon behind you in your pic?”, or similar, as your first conversational salvo? The women say “I wrote half a dozen things about drinking, smoking, tattoos, etc., that rule this guy out, clearly he read nothing of my profile. Don’t men know you have to put at least a little effort into these things, or not seeming like you’ve ignored every one of my wishes? You clearly don't pay the minimum attention to me now, I'm supposed to think you'll pay attention to me on a date?”
It doesn’t make them flattered if dozens of men think they’re worth engaging, if they’re not going to say anything remotely personal to the woman. Then men complain you have to write these useless, content-free messages, because “it’s a numbers game and no one ever writes back to you anyway” (well, maybe they would. if you sounded like you were interested in them as something beyond a pretty picture?). Even those overly chatty women are secretly doing the men a service they're not smart enough to pick up on. Because here she is, serving up half her life story on a platter you can read at your leisure, and didn't have to screw up every ounce of your courage to shout at her as a pretty stranger in a bar.
Further you must realize that there are different, gendered and individual-based choices on what ages are acceptable. For ex a 45yo man may date a 23yo woman, but a 45yo female may not date a 23yo man only a 50-60yo man etc
Further you must realize that there are different, gendered and individual-based choices on what ages are acceptable. For ex a 45yo man may date a 23yo woman, but a 45yo female may not date a 23yo man only a 50-60yo man etc
Why can't a 45 yo female date a 23 yo man?
Who's to stop her?
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+1
Almost no man who contacted me for the 3 months I tried a dating site said one personal word to me in their intro; and really, how difficult is it to PM somebody “is that the Grand Canyon behind you in your pic?”, or similar, as your first conversational salvo? The women say “I wrote half a dozen things about drinking, smoking, tattoos, etc., that rule this guy out, clearly he read nothing of my profile. Don’t men know you have to put at least a little effort into these things, or not seeming like you’ve ignored every one of my wishes? You clearly don't pay the minimum attention to me now, I'm supposed to think you'll pay attention to me on a date?” 
