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Im not aware of any documentation that has established that every country in the world has always developed a trend of problems with disgruntled young males from the beginning of history. I also dont think there is any verifyable way to anticipate whether anything will change or not.
And I disagree that the issues i highlight dont have anything to do with women.
"Disgruntled young males is the main phenomenon behind the growth of radical Islam.
I don't think the character in the movie was portrayed badly. Andy was a content, responsible, if a little nerdy, guy until the imbeciles at work got a hold of him. He didn't hate women and didn't want the crazy party girl. It's those other guys that looked like idiots.
The woman he married was questionable too. I thought Andy was the most decent character in the movie. He didn't try to get anyone else to change. I wanted to cringe when he sold all those vintage toys because his girlfriend said he should grow up and invest the money in some business that would fail.
This is true. A lot of people really missed the point of that movie. He was a 40-year old virgin. The fact that he didn't have sex was the only thing that was missing. But he wasn't some worthless loser with no redeeming qualities which some people think of all older virgins.
not all women have a lot of options either. I have NEVER had options with men like other women do and I am 34. I have only ever been asked on a date once. So it's not only men who have few options and no idea what to do when that occurs.
I think the fact that women have trouble dating just doesn't register with men....or at least many of them. I guess they're too busy fixating on our low number ratings and our "negative behaviors."
Well, of course. Our "negative behaviors" are the sole reason why we're not dating. Seems to me more like, men making random and often likely-to-be-wrong snap judgments on a woman's personality or even half-heard conversation, based upon her standing in the middle of a party or bar; which in reality means they know very little about us, except whether or not we're attractive, how we dress when we're going out, and the size of the social circle we run around with.
I consider this discussion about men's struggles, making female struggles mostly irrelevant. I suspect women aren't involuntarily on the romantic sidelines more than they were in the past, whereas there are plenty of decent males (a la the Steve Carrell movie) struggling today who wouldn't have had much trouble decades ago.
I consider this discussion about men's struggles, making female struggles mostly irrelevant. I suspect women aren't involuntarily on the romantic sidelines more than they were in the past, whereas there are plenty of decent males (a la the Steve Carrell movie) struggling today who wouldn't have had much trouble decades ago.
You are making a mistake trying to separate the two. The solution is for men to see that women also struggle with dating. To view women's choices as the cause of men's dating issues without viewing men's choices as the cause of women's dating issues is wrong. By separating the two, you are painting a picture of women being in control when that simply is not true. What needs to happen here is for men to see the truth. You are choosing to ignore it.
Your real problem, sadly, is there aren't enough 9's and 10's to go around so every guy can have a 9 or 10. You want to ignore that your choice to ignore a large portion of the female population as datable is what creates the imbalance in the first place. MEN are creating the situation where there aren't enough women to go around by demanding arm candy when only a small portion of women are arm candy of the caliber they want. MEN are choosing to be lonely because they are choosing to compete for only a small percentage of women while ignoring the rest as not good enough. Then they cry that they're lonely when they really did this to themselves and, unfortunately, condemned a lot of women deemed undatable by them to the same fate without ever getting to know them.
You can't separate women's issues in dating from men's because they go hand in hand. Men created both. You don't get to cry foul when you are creating the situation in the first place.
I think the fact that women have trouble dating just doesn't register with men....or at least many of them. I guess they're too busy fixating on our low number ratings and our "negative behaviors."
Yup. When you only look at the 9's and 10's, there just aren't enough women to go around. But they don't see that it's their fixation on having a 9 or 10 on their arm that creates the situation in the first place FOR BOTH GENDERS. They won't date a 5 even though they are a 5 because a 5 just isn't good enough so we end up with men and women who end up lonely because of their choice but they don't see that. They're too busy feeling sorry for themselves to see that they are where they are because of their own choices.
In college we played a game where we were all given a number 1-10 and then told to pair up with someone to make the highest total possible. Not surprisingly, the 10's paired with 10's, the 9's with 9's and so on even though everyone tried to pair with a 10. Reality is if you don't have something to offer, you're not getting a 10. That some men fixate on an unattainable goal is the issue here.
I can either fixate on that I deserve to live in a mansion with maids and servants or accept my life in middle class suburbia. The more I fixate on what I think I deserve and don't have the more unacceptable what I have becomes to me. It's just unhealthy to fixate on what you cannot have whether it's a mansion on sprawling acreage or a significant other with the proper physical characteristics. You just make everything else look unacceptable.
You are making a mistake trying to separate the two. The solution is for men to see that women also struggle with dating. To view women's choices as the cause of men's dating issues without viewing men's choices as the cause of women's dating issues is wrong. By separating the two, you are painting a picture of women being in control when that simply is not true. What needs to happen here is for men to see the truth. You are choosing to ignore it.
Kind of like showing up to a baseball game, and then complaining it's a purposeless game because the team has installed a catcher with no pitcher, or vice versa.
I likewise think some men function in a world where they assume that others in the "manosphere" are all on their approximate age level, and that some of them have resolved these problems at some point down the road. They aren't considering that their standards may leave them similarly still high and dry in their 40s and 50s, because those sad "old men" are on another level. I know a couple in this category although they aren't literally virgins, but they have made poor choices that in some cases have led to over a decade of celibacy broken maybe once. Suggest women to them on their level of looks parity whom you think look nice, and their responses are disparaging.
There are some very good reasons why people say that such-and-such man amongst their friends is a bad bet to date and no wonder he's still single, and these rarely end with "because he's a horrible person with the capacity to explode and take out the post office if you do something he doesn't like". My thoughts on these fixups generally end before I get them out of the thought-bubble process, because I'm not endorsing someone to this guy, only to find that the date was a nonstarter or disaster because I picked someone so beneath his unrealistic evaluations of his own pulling power.
That helps explain some men from PUA Hate who aimed to players or aesthetic gods. I think it also indicates that Elliot Rodger wanted to feel like a top dog after a lifetime of being socially near the bottom and forced, ineffective therapy.
But the key point is that many men, maybe 20%, feel virtually powerless, especially with women, and attempts to 'control' women are mostly about trying to get some power back.
Maybe I'm too ambitious in pushing womankind to 'improve' some behaviors. It probably would be better just to ask men and women to put aside preconceived notions and try to better understand and sympathize with each other. If that happened, there would be more willingness to adjust to some of each other's wants.
I fixed your post for you.
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Seems to me more like, men making random and often likely-to-be-wrong snap judgments on a woman's personality or even half-heard conversation, based upon her standing in the middle of a party or bar; which in reality means they know very little about us, except whether or not we're attractive, how we dress when we're going out, and the size of the social circle we run around with.
