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I am not without any romantic success. Why would I care about the total failures? Well, for one, it took a long time and I had to work hard and some social changes might benefit me, but mainly it's my psychology that likes to take charge on issues like this.
I actually agree that overpopulation is a problem and crudely that society ought to be pleased that many people aren't breeding. I even believe that many of the "kissless virgins" are men who shouldn't pass on their genes. But it's cruel and socially destabilizing to support that.
There's much too much dancing around the fact that many men are hurting over romantic struggles and handle it worse than women do. While there is a Google to show that suicides (at least those by males) often are spurred by breakups, I hardly need to present anything, for I'm stating common sense. As for therapy, it is not cosmetic surgery or dating coaching and, for example, seemed to do Elliot Rodger no good. I believe, like the song "Don't Give Up" that happened to come on while thinking of a reply, that romantically women sometimes serve as anti-depressants for men, grounding them in something good in a world that often is harsh.
You are not going to solve the problems of the Elliot Roger's of the world with a relationship because lack of a relationship is not their real problem.
Mental disorders need to be diagnosed in an early stage.Too many getting through.
Yeah, there should be thought police and a national database to post all of the errant findings to. That'll teach those insane folks with mental disorders.
They might release hordes of cats into the street to wreak havoc.
That's going to be me when dh passes on. Me and my cats. I'll need something for company. Lord knows a 55+ year old woman has a better chance of being abducted by aliens than getting a date. I dread being alone. Hind sight is always 20/20. I should have held out for someone closer to my age. That 12 year age gap didn't seem so big back then. Now it's huge.
I am not without any romantic success. Why would I care about the total failures? Well, for one, it took a long time and I had to work hard and some social changes might benefit me, but mainly it's my psychology that likes to take charge on issues like this.
I actually agree that overpopulation is a problem and crudely that society ought to be pleased that many people aren't breeding. I even believe that many of the "kissless virgins" are men who shouldn't pass on their genes. But it's cruel and socially destabilizing to support that.
There's much too much dancing around the fact that many men are hurting over romantic struggles and handle it worse than women do. While there is a Google to show that suicides (at least those by males) often are spurred by breakups, I hardly need to present anything, for I'm stating common sense. As for therapy, it is not cosmetic surgery or dating coaching and, for example, seemed to do Elliot Rodger no good (the mental health industry has little incentive to publish data showing its ineffectiveness in that common scenario). I believe, like the song "Don't Give Up" that happened to come on while thinking of a reply, that romantically women sometimes serve as anti-depressants for men, grounding them in something good in a world that often is harsh.
Congratulations on your romantic successes. You set a good example to other young men that, as in other aspects of life, time and hard work often bring success.
No one is dancing around that fact that men hurt over romantic struggles. But you refuse to acknowledge that women hurt over romantic struggles too. As far as men handling it worse than women, that brings us full circle to the idea you seem to have that women should date/remain with/marry men that they don't like in order to keep happy and in extreme cases, to keep them from going on killing sprees. As has been repeated ad nauseum, women do not owe that consideration to men. Men must be responsible for their own emotions and reactions. If you want society to get behind a cause, that would be a good one.
To the extent that suicides are spurred by breakups, that has nothing to do with kissless virgins. By definition, some sort of relationship precedes a breakup. Elliot Rodger never suffered a breakup. By most accounts he'd never even been rejected because he never asked anyone out.
As far as women serving as anti-depressants, that is undoubtedly true. For both men and women, connecting romantically with someone can make a person feel happy and less lonely in the world. But that STILL doesn't mean women owe anything to men when it comes to dating.
My past successes don't even bring joy to me, so....
I never said women should be with men they don't like. All I said is they shouldn't always require initial liking. Some people are better than they first seem.
There's just no way to study suicide due to virginity, as that could not be known in most cases. But it follows that, like breakup angst, extended involuntary celibacy could cause suicidal depression. Heck, there were many such men on PUA Hate, and surely they're now on sites like love-shy.
This discussion for me has never been about saving an Elliot Rodger, someone probably predisposed to psychosis and inherently low in mate value. It's about the much more common, less extreme "kissless virgin" cases, sometimes of decent guys who now are undervalued by women and whose unhappiness is bad for society.
Congratulations on your romantic successes. You set a good example to other young men that, as in other aspects of life, time and hard work often bring success.
No one is dancing around that fact that men hurt over romantic struggles. But you refuse to acknowledge that women hurt over romantic struggles too. As far as men handling it worse than women, that brings us full circle to the idea you seem to have that women should date/remain with/marry men that they don't like in order to keep happy and in extreme cases, to keep them from going on killing sprees. As has been repeated ad nauseum, women do not owe that consideration to men. Men must be responsible for their own emotions and reactions. If you want society to get behind a cause, that would be a good one.
To the extent that suicides are spurred by breakups, that has nothing to do with kissless virgins. By definition, some sort of relationship precedes a breakup. Elliot Rodger never suffered a breakup. By most accounts he'd never even been rejected because he never asked anyone out.
As far as women serving as anti-depressants, that is undoubtedly true. For both men and women, connecting romantically with someone can make a person feel happy and less lonely in the world. But that STILL doesn't mean women owe anything to men when it comes to dating.
I'd rep you but I have to spread the love...
Break up angst does require a relationship to break up from doesn't it?
My past successes don't even bring joy to me, so....
I never said women should be with men they don't like. All I said is they shouldn't always require initial liking. Some people are better than they first seem.
There's just no way to study suicide due to virginity, as that could not be known in most cases. But it follows that, like breakup angst, extended involuntary celibacy could cause suicidal depression. Heck, there were many such men on PUA Hate, and surely they're now on sites like love-shy.
This discussion for me has never been about saving an Elliot Rodger, someone probably predisposed to psychosis and inherently low in mate value. It's about the much more common, less extreme "kissless virgin" cases, sometimes of decent guys who now are undervalued by women and whose unhappiness is bad for society.
This is true for both women and men and many men who write off women without even giving them a chance might find someone they are compatible with if they did give her a chance. This knife cuts both ways.
My past successes don't even bring joy to me, so....
I never said women should be with men they don't like. All I said is they shouldn't always require initial liking. Some people are better than they first seem.
There's just no way to study suicide due to virginity, as that could not be known in most cases. But it follows that, like breakup angst, extended involuntary celibacy could cause suicidal depression. Heck, there were many such men on PUA Hate, and surely they're now on sites like love-shy.
This discussion for me has never been about saving an Elliot Rodger, someone probably predisposed to psychosis and inherently low in mate value. It's about the much more common, less extreme "kissless virgin" cases, sometimes of decent guys who now are undervalued by women and whose unhappiness is bad for society.
Society does not need protection from the decent guys though. The worst that could happen to society is the guy is less productive than he otherwise would have been because he is depressed. If he committed suicide it would be sad but really another statistic. None of the guys on those sites spewing out violent and sadistic thoughts are good candidates for a mate for any woman. So even if women date all the good non-alpha guys that's nice but it won't help stop tragedies caused by the psychos. Those guys have a host of deep issues, women are not the root of it.
My past successes don't even bring joy to me, so....
I never said women should be with men they don't like. All I said is they shouldn't always require initial liking. Some people are better than they first seem.
There's just no way to study suicide due to virginity, as that could not be known in most cases. But it follows that, like breakup angst, extended involuntary celibacy could cause suicidal depression. Heck, there were many such men on PUA Hate, and surely they're now on sites like love-shy.
This discussion for me has never been about saving an Elliot Rodger, someone probably predisposed to psychosis and inherently low in mate value. It's about the much more common, less extreme "kissless virgin" cases, sometimes of decent guys who now are undervalued by women and whose unhappiness is bad for society.
It's also difficult to separate being a kissless virgin from the scorn romantically awkward people are held in. Isn't it each of our responsibilities to find ways, on our own, to connect with others? That seems axiomatic to me.
What we could do is find ways to reduce the stigma young men and women who aren't romantic naturals have to deal with.
And whatever your motivation, you realize that you're asking women to date men they have no initial interest in? That seems so fundamentally wrong to me. Even if there's some valuable end that may result, which I doubt would be the case, I can't see asking anyone to sacrifice such a basic part of her autonomy.
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That's going to be me when dh passes on. Me and my cats. I'll need something for company. Lord knows a 55+ year old woman has a better chance of being abducted by aliens than getting a date. I dread being alone. Hind sight is always 20/20. I should have held out for someone closer to my age. That 12 year age gap didn't seem so big back then. Now it's huge.
I'd rep you but I have to spread the love...
