Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People who run their mouths every second of the day are an annoyance. Some people just need to just shut up and learn to listen. There are a few co-workers who CONTINUALLY run their mouths. Most of the time, I just look over at them talking and fervently gesturing to people; shake my head and and say to myself "dude, just shut up".
Is there really such a thing as a "snobby" quiet person? Sorry quiet people don't stroke your ego enough. That guy sitting in the corner is just minding his own business. He's not obligated to talk to you.
Snobby people love to talk and love being the center of attention 100% of the time.
Is there really such a thing as a "snobby" quiet person? Sorry quiet people don't stroke your ego enough. That guy sitting in the corner is just minding his own business. He's not obligated to talk to you.
Snobby people love to talk and love being the center of attention 100% of the time.
I have not meant to imply that quiet people are snobby, but that the continued lack of engagement may seem snobby. Everyone is different and some introverts are really, really non communicative. If you are in a group where people are contributing opinions and/or insights, the person simply sitting, not making eye contact, not contributing could be considered not engaged. That often means to people--snobby.
I think a non engaged person in a social setting is just as wearing, in a different way, than someone who dominates. We all have a responsibility to hold up our end of civility, even if only small talk is being made. In a sense, the extremely non communicative person is taking but not giving. I do think though that introverts find social situations difficult, draining, and fraught with pitfalls. I also think that people do best in life when they are able to use social skills in social situations. In other words, we all need to make an effort to do some interaction and some listening.
I also do not think that extremely talkative persons are necessarily snobby. Many talkatives are nervous talkers. Or high energy people. Sometimes they are dominant or attention loving. Snobby is not a word I would think describes most of them.
I have not meant to imply that quiet people are snobby, but that the continued lack of engagement may seem snobby. Everyone is different and some introverts are really, really non communicative. If you are in a group where people are contributing opinions and/or insights, the person simply sitting, not making eye contact, not contributing could be considered not engaged. That often means to people--snobby.
I think a non engaged person in a social setting is just as wearing, in a different way, than someone who dominates. We all have a responsibility to hold up our end of civility, even if only small talk is being made. In a sense, the extremely non communicative person is taking but not giving. I do think though that introverts find social situations difficult, draining, and fraught with pitfalls. I also think that people do best in life when they are able to use social skills in social situations. In other words, we all need to make an effort to do some interaction and some listening.
I also do not think that extremely talkative persons are necessarily snobby. Many talkatives are nervous talkers. Or high energy people. Sometimes they are dominant or attention loving. Snobby is not a word I would think describes most of them.
Again, I'm both. I am neutral here.
I wasn't referring to anyone's post in particular and I do see where you are coming from. I really don't see how a person not communicating in a conversation is "snobby" though. To me a snobby person would do all the talking without listening. A person who is mostly listening probably doesn't feel like they have anything to contribute to the conversation. I talk to people a lot more when I'm in a one on one conversation, but in groups I tend to just listen. Talking for the sake of talking just seems like BS to me.
This very thing has come to the forefront in the last week, for a group of friends.
We play Pathfinder (a tabletop roleplaying "dice & minifigs" game similar to Dungeons & Dragons) on a weekly basis. Our numbers have swelled, we now have 15 actual players and their assorted children and spouses that don't play but still come over.
3 of the players are teenagers, and they are quiet.
5 of the men who play are "alpha male" types, especially once they start drinking beer. Loud and overbearing. (unfortunately the guy actually running the game isn't one of them.)
1 of the women is so severely shy she has anxiety attacks and rarely leaves her home.
1 of the women is intimidated by one of the men in particular.
2 of the women (including me) are somewhere in the middle...not loud but not shy.
3 of the men (including the guy running the game) are also middle-ground types.
We recently had to actually get a physical object, this oversized pencil with a big pointy-finger thing on the end, from my son's room, to use as a "speaking stick" so that the quieter people could get a word in edgewise without being interrupted or shouted down. Even when we are all more or less friends and all want to get along, there are challenges.
But we are all geeks, so nobody is interested in what is "normal" or not. I don't think any of us are terribly fond of that word anyhow.
This very thing has come to the forefront in the last week, for a group of friends.
We play Pathfinder (a tabletop roleplaying "dice & minifigs" game similar to Dungeons & Dragons) on a weekly basis. Our numbers have swelled, we now have 15 actual players and their assorted children and spouses that don't play but still come over.
3 of the players are teenagers, and they are quiet.
5 of the men who play are "alpha male" types, especially once they start drinking beer. Loud and overbearing. (unfortunately the guy actually running the game isn't one of them.)
1 of the women is so severely shy she has anxiety attacks and rarely leaves her home.
1 of the women is intimidated by one of the men in particular.
2 of the women (including me) are somewhere in the middle...not loud but not shy.
3 of the men (including the guy running the game) are also middle-ground types.
We recently had to actually get a physical object, this oversized pencil with a big pointy-finger thing on the end, from my son's room, to use as a "speaking stick" so that the quieter people could get a word in edgewise without being interrupted or shouted down. Even when we are all more or less friends and all want to get along, there are challenges.
But we are all geeks, so nobody is interested in what is "normal" or not. I don't think any of us are terribly fond of that word anyhow.
As the original meaning of 'geek' is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a sideshow, I can understand.
People who claim that quiet people are "snobby" are almost always extroverts who don't understand that just because someone is quiet doesn't mean that he thinks he is any better than others. Quiet people just don't enjoy socializing and prefer to keep to themselves. They are most comfortable when they are alone or with people they know very well. It is a personality type.
I wasn't referring to anyone's post in particular and I do see where you are coming from. I really don't see how a person not communicating in a conversation is "snobby" though. To me a snobby person would do all the talking without listening. A person who is mostly listening probably doesn't feel like they have anything to contribute to the conversation. I talk to people a lot more when I'm in a one on one conversation, but in groups I tend to just listen. Talking for the sake of talking just seems like BS to me.
OK, small talk might be BS to you, but if you want to make your life easier you will need to learn to make it, at least to some extent.
I worked with the public for many years, and I learned some safe topics. Incidentally, when I dealt with customers, I was always "on" and cheerful. On the days when I didn't feel good, or was sad, I noticed that my customers noticed and were bothered by my change.
At any rate, I don't agree that social chatter is BS. I suspect you feel that way because you feel you aren't very good at it. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I've been wrong about many things before.
People who claim that quiet people are "snobby" are almost always extroverts who don't understand that just because someone is quiet doesn't mean that he thinks he is any better than others. Quiet people just don't enjoy socializing and prefer to keep to themselves. They are most comfortable when they are alone or with people they know very well. It is a personality type.
Once again, I indicated in my earlier post that introverted, non communicative people can seem snobby--to others. I did not indicate I thought introverted people were snobby. Introverts often want understanding but you have to give something to the social give and take to get understanding. If I or someone else, refuses to take part in social exchange, then I must be prepared to be misunderstood.
If a person works in a largish office, and never volunteers anything about him or herself, never takes the lead in a kind communal act, never socializes with co workers even at lunch, then he or she should prepare to be considered a snob.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
