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Because americans place value in domination and control. Look at us, we want to dominate and control the rest of world, and this filters up from the people themselves and into the govt they elect.
Personally, I think I fall somewhere in the middle on the introvert-extrovert scale. If there is one personality I loathe, it's the loud mouth, commandeering, look-at-me! types. Ugh.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dorado0359
(The OP) Anti-social, withdrawn, loaner, etc., you've heard the negative descriptions laid on quiet or reserved personalities. In contrast, the loud, outgoing and overbearing, personality is considered "happy-go-lucky" "a great personality" and preceived as "normal" and more socially acceptable? Both personalities are at extreme ends of the specrum, yet one is perceived as "normal" while the other is considered "abnormal". Why?
Why? Because we as a society seem to have assumed, incorrectly, that action and excitement is the end-all be-all of life; not to mention that a person's likability, perhaps even their very worth, is based on whether they have a photogenic stage presence, a telegenic lifestyle, can really "light up" a party, and generally have a knack for gaining and keeping positive attention.
I know this has been around ever since we lived in caves (if lucky), but the media (especially television) really seems to have amplified this tendency over the past few generations. Image sells! That alone should tell you how shallow mainstream cultural attitudes are.
I guess it's assumed if someone is more quiet or shy, they have issues because if people liked them, and wanted to be around them, and they had nothing to hide, then they would be more vocal and lively.
Or, because quiet is intimidating. People don't know where to begin when approaching someone quiet. Whereas with loud, since they say everything and are so open, people already have a vibe of them to go on.
But, being shy is murder in the dating world. I am shy, and usually a target to any bad boys or creepers you wanna meet.
The way I see it is introverts are thought "abnormal" to the intolerant kind of extroverts who lack understanding just as extroverts are thought "abnormal" to the intolerant kind of introverts who lack understanding. I see it as just another ridiculous war on differences of tastes & preferences.
Interesting because DD and I were having this discussion the car today. We are both introverts. Our conclusion is it's often because most people don't like to think deep thoughts. Both of us love to sit with several other people and have a conversation. But we actually want to converse about something. Whereas most people, in a given circumstance would prefer to hold the same idle chitchat about Honey Booboo or Real Phony Housewives over and over again with different people than hold one meaningful conversation at depth.
Anti-social, withdrawn, loaner, etc., you've heard the negative descriptions laid on quiet or reserved personalities. In contrast, the loud, outgoing and overbearing, personality is considered "happy-go-lucky" "a great personality" and preceived as "normal" and more socially acceptable? Both personalities are at extreme ends of the specrum, yet one is perceived as "normal" while the other is considered "abnormal". Why?
Yes you are using extremes as examples. I don't think overbearing and loud people are particularly well liked. Just as extremely quiet types often are thought snobbish or not trying.
We all have to try to be civilized. Social skills are helpful to everyone, and make life easier for us and for our friends and spouses. If you feel ostracized because of your withdrawn personality, I'd recommend that you try to extend yourself a bit. Be friendly and kind, use your quiet personality to really listen to people, and learn social skills.
Those people who are always "on" can be very wearing. They need to tone themselves down, talk less and listen better.
I count myself as in both categories at different times. Sometimes I have to amp myself up a bit, and other times I need to tone myself down. I am not being judgemental here.
Sometimes you can tell difference between snobby quiet and being genuinly quiet person . I'm really quiet but I only talk when I have something good to say . It's also about how someone is engaging with you . Do they really look interested in what you're saying or are they not even caring. A lot of my gfs are really loud and bubbly and I get along really well with them . Some people love to talk and that's totally okay with me . I tend to observe and speak when I want neither one is bad in my opinion .
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neither one is bad in my opinion .
