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Nah, we don't have to shut up. It's a broken system that helps very few people who don't have a gazillion dollars to waste.
"Broken system" would be going too far. Besides, as other people pointed out, it can be of some help. But the system is in a crude state. In other words, asking rhetorical questions (like "How did that make you feel?") is equivalent to performing a tooth extraction in a barber shop.
Thanks. Mine wasn't getting burnt out. I was just no longer in need of his help as I was when I started. It had become a familiar relationship rather than a therapy situation. It was time for me to fly without him.
But listen, when we returned to work after 9/11, I saw burnout, and it happened fast. My employer hired shrinks to talk to us in groups and individually. Three weeks later I was put at lunchtime and I saw the therapist assigned to my department. He looked like hell. I asked if he was OK, and he said he was getting time off and being debriefed by another therapist, because three weeks of listening to endless stories about seeing body parts and burn victims and people shredded by glass and crushed and so forth had taken its toll. I felt bad for him
Vicarious trauma is actually a huge issue for mental health workers, particularly those who specialize in violence/trauma. It's why there are mandates in the ethics code regarding practitioner health.
So it seems I have finally found a therapist I click with. We had a small chat on the phone about a week ago and she was very insightful. I absolutely felt understood.
I had already attended therapy when I was in college a few years back and it was bad. The (male) therapist said I was flirting with him (which I was not), focused on my so-called 'privileged' background and even told me I was lying about my childhood abuse (at which point, I stopped the sessions since it was pointless to talk to someone who didn't believe me when all of my core issues stem from this pain).
This time around, I'm seeking professional help with a therapist who seems highly qualified and I'm paying the proportionate price. I really want this to work for me.
Have you ever successfully undergone therapy? How long does it take to finally see progress? How is the progress noticed?
It's very difficult being a therapist, because some people don't want to hear the truth about themselves. They want to be told that others are to blame for their troubles. Before anyone selects one to see, they should acknowledge the truth about themselves and decide if they want to find someone who will help them work around it or to face it head-on.
Vicarious trauma is actually a huge issue for mental health workers, particularly those who specialize in violence/trauma. It's why there are mandates in the ethics code regarding practitioner health.
Thank you, I didn't know there was a term for it. I was glad to hear such a mandate was in place.
In another situation, there was a psychologist in the writing group to which I belonged at the time. She had been facilitating a support group for family members of WTC victims. At one meeting, she said, she found herself feeling that she was in a surreal world, having coffee and Entenmann's cakes with people who were discussing what body parts, if any, of their loved ones had been recovered and returned to them.
I think my main goal for attending therapy is to understand why the same patterns keep repeating in my life, what my contribution to these patterns/repeated relationship failures is based on my 'conditionning' resulting from my childhood traumas.
Coming from a very dysfunctional, abusive and toxic family, I acknowledge the fact that dysfunctionality seems to be something that followed me in my relationships up until recently. It was 'normal' for me since I didn't experience any other type of dynamic. However, I need to understand why I found myself facing these repeated patterns and what I can do differently to enhance the quality of my relationships.
This therapy session is not made for me to say 'I'm a victim' and everyone is to blame. It's not about anyone but me. I reached a point where I could no longer continue getting into dynamics that are plain toxic. I'm seeking for a way to build better relationships by fixing my own set of issues.
Therapists do not have a magic wand, but the sole fact that I will get to speak to someone about things I've never spoken about to anyone else (except my former therapist) will allow me to exteriorize my pain, get an objective perspective on my circumstances and a fair critical point of view void of any personal judgment.
I looked into CBT, but it seemed like a 'trend' to me. I'm not sure of the effectiveness of this method. I'm just sticking to regular psychotherapy for now and we'll see what happens!
I think my main goal for attending therapy is to understand why the same patterns keep repeating in my life, what my contribution to these patterns/repeated relationship failures is based on my 'conditionning' resulting from my childhood traumas.
Coming from a very dysfunctional, abusive and toxic family, I acknowledge the fact that dysfunctionality seems to be something that followed me in my relationships up until recently. It was 'normal' for me since I didn't experience any other type of dynamic. However, I need to understand why I found myself facing these repeated patterns and what I can do differently to enhance the quality of my relationships.
This therapy session is not made for me to say 'I'm a victim' and everyone is to blame. It's not about anyone but me. I reached a point where I could no longer continue getting into dynamics that are plain toxic. I'm seeking for a way to build better relationships by fixing my own set of issues.
Therapists do not have a magic wand, but the sole fact that I will get to speak to someone about things I've never spoken about to anyone else (except my former therapist) will allow me to exteriorize my pain, get an objective perspective on my circumstances and a fair critical point of view void of any personal judgment.
I looked into CBT, but it seemed like a 'trend' to me. I'm not sure of the effectiveness of this method. I'm just sticking to regular psychotherapy for now and we'll see what happens!
Why is it that you seek approval from an external source for affirmation with regards to your mental health, coping strategies or how you think? Unless your therapist is providing psychoanalysis for free. You pay good money only to be ridiculed by someone who takes an hourly fee to provide analysis?
There are "therapists" and then there are psychologists. The more severe the issues you want to sort out, the more professional the person you want helping you with it. Anyone can call themselves a therapist and yes, there are all kinds of social workers who mean well and can help some people with some things. Psychiatrist now = psychopharmacologist.
So I might not argue that 95% of therapists suck, but I doubt 95% of psychologists do. Even so, their job is not to solve your problems; it's to help you learn to do it.
Excellent response! Anymore, many of the "therapists" in reality turn out to be, for the most part, drug and alcohol counselors or addictions. While they may do well in helping people address those issues, other issues are above their heads.
Unless a person wants to overcome their patterns and sees that they need to overcome them, a therapist with any amount of skill will be ineffective. There is no magic wand.
Why is it that you seek approval from an external source for affirmation with regards to your mental health, coping strategies or how you think? Unless your therapist is providing psychoanalysis for free. You pay good money only to be ridiculed by someone who takes an hourly fee to provide analysis?
What are you talking about?
I really don't understand your post.
I don't think therapy is 'being ridiculed' by someone. At least, I will have someone who can listen to my past trauma story and help me overcome my issues.
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