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A therapist who can't/won't/doesn't fix you is like an IT guy who sits there and compassionately listens to how you can't get e-mail on your computer, but can't/won't/doesn't at least try reinstalling Microsoft Outlook.
Think of it like going to a dietician. They can talk to you about health, about diet, about meal plans, but they're not buying and putting food in your face. You take what you've learned and do it yourself, and they monitor the process and guide you along. Therapy's not much different. There's no magic bullet either for physical or mental health, and no one can help anyone who doesn't think they need help and won't make the effort.
A therapist who can't/won't/doesn't fix you is like an IT guy who sits there and compassionately listens to how you can't get e-mail on your computer, but can't/won't/doesn't at least try reinstalling Microsoft Outlook.
Think of it as going in to a medical clinic with real issues relating to overweight, poor nutrition, insufficient exercise, etc., an MD or nurse telling you that your changing your behavior will improve your physical health...eating better, exercising, getting sufficient rest, etc....all things you must personally make changes regarding, but that they cannot do it for you, outside of being a resource for general guidance and support. They may be able to refer you to some interventions, pharmaceutical or not, to alleviate symptoms you are experiencing, but, ultimately, your motivation to change your health habits is on you.
In mental health, where a great many (not, by any means, all, but a huge amount, and certainly for the most common, pedestrian mental health complaints) issues have behaviorally-based interventions and solutions. Mental health professionals can guide you and support you through finding effective solutions if you've been unsuccessful in doing so on your own, or lack support. But they can't change maladaptive behavior and thought patterns (the root of a tremendous number of garden variety mental and emotional health complaints) for you. You have to do that yourself.
There are mental health disorders that require a MUCH more intensive and invasive intervention and specialized care, of course. Just as with physiological health issues. But, as with many physiological health issues, many of the most common solutions to various common complaints lie in behavioral/lifestyle change, versus intensive intervening. Some people need professional guidance and supports for that, some don't.
All of which is why, as I noted on my first post on the thread, that mental health isn't auto mechanics. You want a quick, mechanical fix, somebody "rebooting" you. But when you have complex, emotionally and behaviorally-based issues going on, that's simply not possible. Some mental health issues are biologically based (brain injury, damage, genetic defect in development, neurotransmitter imbalances, etc.), but tons are based around behavior and thought patterns.
You won't gain anything arguing with people who know almost nothing. This topic has become so polluted with untruths as to be nearly worthless.
People who do not believe in the mental healthcare system should seek other solutions for their problems, if for no other reason than to free up the system for people who can actually benefit from it.
I spend a lot of my time in this forum section trying to decide if OP would benefit from seeking help from the system. Sometimes they are complaining about problems that are not psychiatric conditions. But other times they do have psychiatric problems, and my usual response to those is to encourage them to try the system to see if it helps.
FWIW I minored in psychology in college. I know a bit more about it than many people but of course when you get right down to it I'm just another "forum psychologist" which is the same as just another person with an opinion (and maybe a little bit more knowledge on the subject than average laymen).
Think of it like going to a dietician. They can talk to you about health, about diet, about meal plans, but they're not buying and putting food in your face. You take what you've learned and do it yourself, and they monitor the process and guide you along. Therapy's not much different. There's no magic bullet either for physical or mental health, and no one can help anyone who doesn't think they need help and won't make the effort.
Good analogy, but...
A dietitian will usually tell you what to eat freely, what to limit, and what to eliminate. If they followed the therapy model, it'd be more like this: "How did that White Castle Crave Case with extra-large fries and a diet Coke make you feel?" (While eating or next morning? ) Or conversely: "You felt hungry because a garden salad with lemon juice wasn't a filling enough." (No, duh!) Most classic therapists don't give advice, after all.
A dietitian will usually tell you what to eat freely, what to limit, and what to avoid entirely. If they followed the therapy model, it'd be more like this: "How did that triple bacon cheeseburger with extra-large fries and a diet Coke make you feel?" Or conversely: "You felt hungry because a garden salad with lemon juice wasn't a filling enough." Most traditional therapists do not give advice, after all.
Honestly, I don't think either of those examples is bad, though. If the patient thinks about it and realizes that eating that bacon cheeseburger and fries felt good in the moment, but afterward made them feel bloated and unhealthy, or that the salad needed more protein to be filling and that feeling triggered a binge, then they've learned something about that behavior and those choices and can make different, more mindful choices going forward. That's valuable.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-08-2017 at 11:03 AM..
A dietitian will usually tell you what to eat freely, what to limit, and what to eliminate. If they followed the therapy model, it'd be more like this: "How did that White Castle Crave Case with extra-large fries and a diet Coke make you feel?" (While eating or next morning? ) Or conversely: "You felt hungry because a garden salad with lemon juice wasn't a filling enough." (No, duh!) Most classic therapists don't give advice, after all.
Since this thread is mostly about you now ....
Is the experience you had at age 9 your ONLY experience with therapy???
People who do not believe in the mental healthcare system should seek other solutions for their problems, if for no other reason than to free up the system for people who can actually benefit from it.
It's also true that self-care and self-help is an invaluable line of defense in maintaining positive mental health, for most people with common, mild, non-pathological mental health concerns. If you can and will do that, great! No reason to seek professional help, and you won't likely get much out of it if you're on the right track already. But if you require more support, it's something worth looking into. Certainly if you are in crisis. But you still will have to help yourself.
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) Or conversely: "You felt hungry because a garden salad with lemon juice wasn't a filling enough." (No, duh!) Most classic therapists don't give advice, after all.
