People who "tell it like it is" (counselor, father, aunt)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People who tell it like it is don't bother me. They are harmless. You don't have to mind read to figure out what they are thinking. I may not always agree, but I appreciate that they were willing to put themselves out there. I'm more bothered by the person who will not speak up. That is the person who will take what another person says and will use it to stab them in the back. People who tell it like it is aren't hiding something.
I'm with you
Although, I've lived in jersey most of my life so 'tellin it like it is' is normal here hahaha
The feeling I got from the original poster is it's more about how this woman presents her opinion (always being right).. rather than the content. Apparently she also lacks empathy, which could make things ugly.
Tell it like it is, keep it real, and end up all alone. People like that do tend to be thin skinned. They'd pick others apart and when you point out a fault, then they react harshly. On top of that, they forget the fact that what they don't like, someone else actually does.
Better to stay away for your mental well being.
People who tell it like it is, most often have few if any friends. And it's no wonder.
I appreciate people who tell it like it is. I find them rather refreshing. But maybe we're talking about a vastly different type of "tell it like it is" person?
What irks me are people who never offer an opinion that might rile someone.
I also can't stand braggarts who think they know everything.
Or how about the gabby ones who monopolize every conversation. I'd rather eat lunch alone than to eat with someone who never shuts up for two hours.
I had an acquaintance who developed throat cancer. A dentist - and not the man's dentist, at that - with very poor social skills took it upon himself to describe in garish detail what dying from throat cancer was going to be like.
The man with the cancer went in his back yard and shot himself in the head.
Beware of unintended consequences if you decide to "tell it like it is."
When I was little my mom worked towards making me 'smart'....taught me to read, praised me to the hilt for saying precocious things, encouraged me to show off. When I went to first grade (we didn't have K) I was the only kid who knew how to read, and the label of snooty smart white kid stuck with me for years, It was really hard for me to adjust from the expectations of my mom to the reality of the world, which is that nobody likes a show off. I was constantly being put in my place by people who thought I felt I was better than them. I didn't know that other kids were not encouraged to put themselves out there like that. When I finally decided I needed to blend into the woodwork, I spent several years NOT putting myself forward. My confidence was shot. I missed a lot of opportunities because I lacked the social skill of reading a situation and figuring out how to proceed.
I also have ADD and have worked on improving my impulse control. When I have a thought, it comes out of my mouth. I'm super observant and very practical, so lots of times I think I am making an observation or stating a fact, people think I am criticizing. It took me YEARS to figure this out.
My point is, that there are lots of reasons why people act the way they do.
I think the OPs comment was correct: People act this way because they lack self-awareness. And the ability to put others needs first
And I love those people who say "if someone doesn't like me, they should say it to my face!" No, they should not, unless they crave drama and you crave drama. If people don't like me, that's their business; I need not know about it. They can vent about me or criticize me to others "behind my back" and that's perfectly fine with me. It does not and should not affect me. As long as they don't slander me (slander meaning saying something untrue and damaging to my personal or professional reputation, not just "saying something bad") then they can think or say what they wish. I'd rather not hear it said "to my face." What purpose would that serve besides causing interpersonal drama? If a person who dislikes me is polite and appropriate to my face, that's not "being fake;" it's "being a sensible adult in a civil society." I'm perfectly polite and professional with people I really can't stand on a daily basis. Why should they know or care that I can't stand them?
Agree. This can be hard to remember and apply, as it can hurt when I feel that I'm disliked or disapproved of. So I try to hold onto something a friend said to me a long time ago that I think has a lot of wisdom: "What someone else thinks of me is really none of my business." Of course, this applies more directly to people who are only acquaintances, and not family and close friends - I DO care what they think of me.
I'm with you
Although, I've lived in jersey most of my life so 'tellin it like it is' is normal here hahaha
The feeling I got from the original poster is it's more about how this woman presents her opinion (always being right).. rather than the content. Apparently she also lacks empathy, which could make things ugly.
I grew up in Jersey - that's a cultural thing, I think. There's no Southern "Bless Your Heart" or "Minnesota nIce" there. But when people take it too far, I think that's what this post is about. There's bluntly speaking a truth, and then there's just imposing your perceptions on your audience. It's a fine line.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
