Is it o.k. to not care what other people think about you? (sociopaths, anxiety)
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Is it psychologically healthy to have no concern what-so-ever how people view you? Or is there some sort of psychological benefit to caring about what people think about you?
It can be--depending on which people you're talking about.
If my best non-spouse friend thought less of me for something, I'd seriously consider whether I was wrong. If my wife told me that I was doing the wrong thing, I'd have to think carefully about that.
If the average American disagrees with me, I don't give a rip. I have little respect for the average American intellect, and far less for it in mass. In fact, any time I find myself closely aligned with majority opinion, I find it a bit unsettling. Time for a re-examination, to see what sort of terminal dumbness might have intruded on my thought process. I might conclude that I was still correct, and that it was a coincidence; more often I realize that I failed to examine one of my underlying assumptions with suitable vigor.
It all comes down to your respect for others' reasoning. You shouldn't care one bit how morons think of you. Intelligent people, people of quality, people you respect--that should matter. Even if you do not agree with such a person, your respect for that person should give you grounds to ponder.
In the workplace, obviously, you can't take this too far outwardly. You at least have to pretend that it matters, because most workplaces demand a great deal of baloney or it will limit your options. You have to go along with a lot of stupid things: pointless meetings, birthday celebrations, the notion that bad bosses deserve respect. They aren't entitled to know the real you. You play that game for yourself, for your own reasons, and it usually means significant masking of your true self. That's the reality and nothing you can do will change it.
"It all comes down to your respect for others' reasoning. You shouldn't care one bit how morons think of you. Intelligent people, people of quality, people you respect--that should matter."
I think it's smart and confident not to care. Do the right thing. Do your best.
One time I told my supervisor (whom I knew attended church) "I try to do my job to please God, then no one will have anything to say about it" Sort of meaning, I don't really worry about what others think because I'm doing my very best. Or something like that.
This, just this!
If I ha spent my life caring what other people thought of me, of the things I did, I would have accomplished very little, probably ended up like so many that dose themselves with mood enhancers to make it through another day and/or sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
Life is too short to care what other people think of you! A waste of mental energy and your time!
Some people need a constant outside feed about themselves, I don't.
Is it psychologically healthy to have no concern what-so-ever how people view you? Or is there some sort of psychological benefit to caring about what people think about you?
No. Not caring at all essentially makes you a borderline sociopath. If you'll do or say anything with zero regard for the feelings or opinions of those around you, you'll wear out your welcome pretty quickly.
With that said, you absolutely should not be a "people pleaser." You must accept the fact that some people will simply dislike you for reasons that don't make a whole lot of sense. So be it. Move along and find those who are more compatible.
"If they're gonna talk smack about you, when they really don't know you, then you should feel like a celebrity, 'cause that's what people do when they talk about someone they don't even know!"
And it's true. I don't give a hoot in hell what people think of me. I walk with my head up, chest out, feeling confident. And I flaunt my confidence - nobody really knows me but me!
IF it is, I must be the most unhealthy person in this forum.
I don't give a care what people think of me. Anyone, husband, stepkids, etc.
Not my problem.
So why did you get married (or stay married) if you don't care what they think of you? Yes, that is very "unhealthy". If anything, one would not care about "strangers", not immediate family.
No. Not caring at all essentially makes you a borderline sociopath. If you'll do or say anything with zero regard for the feelings or opinions of those around you, you'll wear out your welcome pretty quickly.
With that said, you absolutely should not be a "people pleaser." You must accept the fact that some people will simply dislike you for reasons that don't make a whole lot of sense. So be it. Move along and find those who are more compatible.
This.
IMO, people who display the "I don't care what anyone thinks about me" attitude, makes them feel empowered into thinking they only have to be in tune with their inner feelings with total disregard of others thoughts/actions. To each his own.
IMO, people who display the "I don't care what anyone thinks about me" attitude, makes them feel empowered into thinking they only have to be in tune with their inner feelings with total disregard of others thoughts/actions. To each his own.
And the ones saying that they simply follow their own values (which I assume they think are good) and that takes care of everything, no need to be concerned about what anyone thinks...
Where on earth do you think your values even came from? From growing up as a human in a society and family and community of humans, caring what they thought. God didn't beam your values into your head independently of any other person around you. Social behavior is learned. Values are learned.
I think the important thing is being able to recognize those people who really have NO RIGHT to my caring what they think. Toxic people in our lives that we need to cut out and divorce ourselves from whatever investment we've had there.
I am puzzled by anyone who thinks this question is a black and white one. I have so many layers in how I care about other people and their thoughts and feelings. With strangers, I always want to be nice. I want to spread positive energy in the world and I always hope any encounter with me will make someone's day better, not worse. At work, I want my associates to see that I'm knowledgeable and competent. At home, I hope my family finds me kind and loving and that I make their lives better for being part of them. I like for my friends to find me witty and interesting and caring and fun. While someone's bad opinion isn't going to make me go cry in a corner or anything, and I'm certainly able to shrug off the inevitable negative Nancy's in the world, I do what I can to craft positive relations with others.
Caring what others think doesn't have to mean you're this delicate creature who is forever hurt and offended by the cruel, cruel world. It can mean you just basically try not to be a decent person, because you're not on a mission to be a walking social disaster.
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