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I welcomed those changes in both my personality and the way I now handle things vs the way I did in high school. Thank goodness for maturing.
Weird thing is...actually ran into a nemesis from high school...and all I felt was...sorrow that she chose to remain the same....sad really. I knew then which one of us was more at peace with ourselves...
I'm so radically different that I'm virtually not even the same person:
High school me (graduated 1993):
Outspoken liberal
Voted for Bill Clinton at age 18
Femi-nazi
Pro-abortion
Cussed like a sailor
No fear, would fight (and win) at the drop of a hat, bad-a$$ reputation (I was popular, though)
Wanted to be a Homicide Agent with the FBI.
Went to college - majored in Criminal Justice.
Interviewed a serial killer.
Me now:
Devout Christian since 1995
Married 24 years
Baptist Pastor's wife
5 children
SAHM
Veteran homeschooler
Voted against Hillary twice
Yeah, I'm the same faith I always was, same values, core beliefs. Only real difference is the amount of the world and views I've been exposed to.
No high school is just a few years of your life spent in a concrete building. The real world begins after high school. Lots of basic things you learn academically are pretty covered by the 8th grade. During your teenage years, you start to develop your separate identity away from your parents. It's a natural stage of life. As we continue to age, we learn from our ways or mistakes and modify as we go along.
- Generally those who were popular in high school loved it.
- Generally those who were unpopular in high school strongly disliked it.
- Generally those who had a more neutral identity in high school were, well, neutral.
I strongly disliked high school, so you can guess which camp I fell into. I did not at the time, and still do not, think of it as a very big deal. However I've never forgotten how, at that time, multiple close relatives chided me for not taking full advantage of high school fun -- because they felt "high school is the best time of your life." Even back then I felt that was a sad statement to make. Who in the world peaks at 18, and is happy about it?
Now, when I look back on the people who told me that, I realize they were speaking from their own perspectives. They did nothing after high school. Nothing in their lives ever changed. They stopped impacting, or being impacted by, the world. They stopped existing in any meaningful sense.
There's a definite pattern of people who had a rough time in high school peaking much later in life, but ultimately reaching rather impressive heights. In some cases I imagine it's because the late-bloomers eventually change for the better. But I also imagine that in many cases the late-bloomers do not change at all, but simply move on to life circumstances where it's okay for them to be themselves. After high school the social hierarchies tend to quickly either become less rigid, or adopt new criteria (e.g. the high school "nerd" is no less "nerdy" when he or she becomes a highly paid professional; he or she might have been a beta in many crowds of immature 18 year-olds, but become clear alphas after they begin to reach their potential and socialize in crowds of 28 year-olds -- regardless of possibly having not changed much at all in the intervening decade).
I believe that my having been exposed to much better environments in my post-high school life has helped make the many positive changes within myself possible, so the two scenarios have worked together in my case. I've changed a lot, in more significant ways than can be explained in one post, really. I graduated from high school coming up on 20 years ago. I've made mountains of progress as a man and in life outcomes compared to just five years ago, let alone two decades ago!
High school is ancient history. It's not relevant. It exists in my mind only as an historical snapshot of what existence was before existence mattered. It's kind of like the snapshots they take of astronauts before they rocket into the heavens.
When I was in high school I thought the nerds would be nerds forever and the cool kids would be cool forever. I never saw a reason why it would change. Thank god I was wrong.
IME, the mean kids remained mean and snooty, while the class brain shocked everyone by getting pregnant in her 2nd year at.....wait for it...........Princeton! The only one in the class to get into a top eastern school. She never went back to college, either, even though she easily could have been a part-time student at Berkeley (being from Berkeley, back when it wasn't so competitive to get in as today), while raising her child with her mom's help. Mystifying.
- Generally those who were popular in high school loved it.
- Generally those who were unpopular in high school strongly disliked it.
- Generally those who had a more neutral identity in high school were, well, neutral.
I strongly disliked high school, so you can guess which camp I fell into. I did not at the time, and still do not, think of it as a very big deal. However I've never forgotten how, at that time, multiple close relatives chided me for not taking full advantage of high school fun -- because they felt "high school is the best time of your life." Even back then I felt that was a sad statement to make. Who in the world peaks at 18, and is happy about it?
Now, when I look back on the people who told me that, I realize they were speaking from their own perspectives. They did nothing after high school. Nothing in their lives ever changed. They stopped impacting, or being impacted by, the world. They stopped existing in any meaningful sense.
There's a definite pattern of people who had a rough time in high school peaking much later in life, but ultimately reaching rather impressive heights. In some cases I imagine it's because the late-bloomers eventually change for the better. But I also imagine that in many cases the late-bloomers do not change at all, but simply move on to life circumstances where it's okay for them to be themselves. After high school the social hierarchies tend to quickly either become less rigid, or adopt new criteria (e.g. the high school "nerd" is no less "nerdy" when he or she becomes a highly paid professional; he or she might have been a beta in many crowds of immature 18 year-olds, but become clear alphas after they begin to reach their potential and socialize in crowds of 28 year-olds -- regardless of possibly having not changed much at all in the intervening decade).
I believe that my having been exposed to much better environments in my post-high school life has helped make the many positive changes within myself possible, so the two scenarios have worked together in my case. I've changed a lot, in more significant ways than can be explained in one post, really. I graduated from high school coming up on 20 years ago. I've made mountains of progress as a man and in life outcomes compared to just five years ago, let alone two decades ago!
High school is ancient history. It's not relevant. It exists in my mind only as an historical snapshot of what existence was before existence mattered. It's kind of like the snapshots they take of astronauts before they rocket into the heavens.
All I remember from HS is being really "anti-military" and used to make fun of the kids in ROTC. I despised anything military and thought anyone who joined the military were just too dumb or poor for college and had no other choice.
I am now a 24 year Air Force vet and working my second career as Fed....go figure...lol
I didn't really come into my own until the end of college. HS was just meh to me. I haven't been back since. I skip the reunions and just have no interest on seeing people I haven't talked to in 20 years, barely remember, and most likely aren't the same.
I haven't really changed at all since high school. I was a loser and loner then and I'm still a loser and loner today. There was a time in college when I thought I had a chance of being somebody, but that was fleeting when I entered the real world and repeatedly failed at life. I've since given up striving for better and I'm just waiting for it to end. My core values and beliefs are still the same and reinforced daily. I guess the only good part of getting older is self-acceptance. I had a hard time being me in high school and was suicidal. While I still don't like who I am, I have learned to take it easier on myself. Warts and all, I do make the best of the life I carved out for myself, and I can, at minimum, take a small semblance of pride in still being here battling.
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The only one in the class to get into a top eastern school. She never went back to college, either, even though she easily could have been a part-time student at Berkeley (being from Berkeley, back when it wasn't so competitive to get in as today), while raising her child with her mom's help. Mystifying.
