born a target (psychologist, anxiety, marriage, counselor)
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Good4Nothin - Reading your original post, although you've been a target, I'd say that you weren't born that, and there is hope and the possibility for another way, with relief. Sometimes we're cursed a bit by where we are, the region we deal with, and the unfortunate "bad mix" of varying people and personalities clashing. In other words, it's more of a combination of people and the environment, rather than the fault of you or a specific person.
I'm a musician too. I've had good relationships with other musicians, but some head-butting too. The difficult people have been very talented, but not leaving enough space for other's thinking.
It is probably often a challenge for musicians in a band to get along. Wacko and I get along well when it comes to music, and that is not so easy to find. He can be a nice guy, but he has this really nasty side.
Do you tell him that he is wrong to have 90% of his assets in equity ???
I am trying to figure out if your discussions include you trying to tell others they are wrong.
That is very different than respecting their views and also having your own.
90% in equity is so very wrong, so at odds with anything anyone has ever said about investing. Unless maybe you are ten years old.
But I don't try to convince him of anything. If he wants to be a stupid investor he can go ahead.
I am thinking that if he is capable of being respectful to his wife, he should be capable of being respectful to me.
He claims they never argue, ever, about anything. Making it seem like he's a peaceful person. And that I am the one who has a problem.
It's a false equivalency and you are sucked into it.
He acted rude (according to you) to you. Full stop. None of the rest matters.
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90% in equity is so very wrong, so at odds with anything anyone has ever said about investing. Unless maybe you are ten years old.
But I don't try to convince him of anything. If he wants to be a stupid investor he can go ahead.
It's not necessarily wrong if he has the money to wait out the downturns.
He may not need to depend on that money for a long time.
I do see a pattern with you of put downs when you disagree.
In this tread you have done it several times and here you are saying
Wacko's investment ideas are wrong "unless you are a 10 year old"
I expressed an opinion about you being interested in Wacko and you
pounced.
I misread that your mom bullied you (vs siblings) and you pounced.
It's not necessarily wrong if he has the money to wait out the downturns.
He may not need to depend on that money for a long time.
I do see a pattern with you of put downs when you disagree.
In this tread you have done it several times and here you are saying
Wacko's investment ideas are wrong "unless you are a 10 year old"
I expressed an opinion about you being interested in Wacko and you
pounced.
I misread that your mom bullied you (vs siblings) and you pounced.
Just saying....
It seems like you are not familiar with standard investing advice. The percentage in equities should be 100 minus your age. So a 10 year old could have 90% in equities.
Saying my mother bullied me is a pretty awful thing to say. Since she died not too long ago and was a loving mother. But you didn't know that.
Maybe this is what I will try next. I will avoid saying anything that could push any of Wacko's many buttons. And see if he still finds excuses to get angry at me anyway.
Thinking back on the past year and a half, there have been all kinds of little things that got him mad.
So if I take myself out of the equation, then I can see if it really is him.
Maybe this is what I will try next. I will avoid saying anything that could push any of Wacko's many buttons. And see if he still finds excuses to get angry at me anyway.
Thinking back on the past year and a half, there have been all kinds of little things that got him mad.
So if I take myself out of the equation, then I can see if it really is him.
If you are willing to walk on eggshells around him.
Nothing would be worth that to me.
Awful if I said it on purpose to hurt you, but if I misread your post is it still awful or just an innocent mistake.
Not everything is intentional.
The problem is these threads can get so long, and people just read a little and don't realize they missed 90% of the story.
I do the same thing. I don't have time to read long threads, so I read the first and the last.
So I realize you did not intend to insult my mother. THAT is a button for me, but you don't know me.
Lots of people at CD are happy for a chance to make someone feel bad. It's like they come here specifically for that purpose. Not you -- I'm saying some, or even many.
What is it about making people feel bad that can be fun? We all did it, at least once in a while, as children. Adults are more subtle. Like coming to a psychology forum and diagnosing people who ask questions, and saying they must get help. Right away.
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