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It's all about vibes and your vibration . . . if you hate yourself, have nothing to offer others (in terms of kindness, personality, something), then WHY would anyone in their right mind be "interested" in you?
The pity party personality is not attractive.
Work on yourself. Develop kindness and awareness.
I don't "get" "throwing in the towel" and acting miserable.
Attractiveness: All of these things denote a self confidence that is very attractive.
Are you clean? Teeth brushed? Nails clipped?
Are you well put together? Ironed and well fitted clothes, clean shoes, hair styled (can be casual style), etc
Do you have good manners?
Are you positive?
Are you respectful of others? Of yourself?
Do you listen? I mean actually listen?
Do you speak? Or do you expect the other person to keep up the conversation?
Do you have interests?
Do you read? Interested in learning?
Are you able to see things from other points of view? Can you respectfully disagree?
Do you say negative things about yourself? "I never get a second date" "Nice guys finish last." "I don't understand why people don't like me." When you say negative things about yourself, people believe you. You create the lack of interest.
There could be someone out there, but if you don't put yourself out there, it's not going to happen.
If you are socially awkward, shy, have limited to no social skills, no social circle, only participate in individual hobbies, keep to yourself when out, or don't go out, it's you that are blocking yourself from opportunities that could exist.
For all the people who want to blame looks, the harsh reality is that personality, or lack thereof, is what is holding so many back. It's comfortable to want to think it's your looks. Accepting that you need to work on your personality is too much effort for some. If you don't think you're worth the effort, then you definitely won't have the effort to find a date, let alone maintain a relationship. Why would someone want to be with you when you're not in a place to offer anything to them, and don't seem to like yourself?
Having a disability, especially one that limits mobility, can make it difficult to "put yourself out there" too.
Being an introvert, I generally don't like to go out. But, when I do go somewhere, it's kind of a hassle, if my destination isn't in my neighborhood, within easy walking distance.
I think I'd like to be in a relationship. But, over the last few years, I've been getting used to the idea that it's probably not going to happen.
It's all about vibes and your vibration . . . if you hate yourself, have nothing to offer others (in terms of kindness, personality, something), then WHY would anyone in their right mind be "interested" in you?
The pity party personality is not attractive.
Nobody likes pity party people. (Probably not even their ilk.) And yes, you have to bring something to the table besides a warm body.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaGWS
Do you say negative things about yourself? "I never get a second date" "Nice guys finish last." "I don't understand why people don't like me." When you say negative things about yourself, people believe you. You create the lack of interest.
Negativity is one of those things that are self-fulfilling. If you think you're a loser, you are a loser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JR_C
Having a disability, especially one that limits mobility, can make it difficult to "put yourself out there" too.
I feel very sorry for such people. They are the one class of people who just got a bad deal in life. Hampered in finding a mate due to no fault of their own.
I feel very sorry for such people. They are the one class of people who just got a bad deal in life. Hampered in finding a mate due to no fault of their own.
Eh... life happens. As my mother used to say 'it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.' In my case a disability gives me a perfect excuse not to participate in the dating game. I'd get a lot more grief from friends and family about opting out if my legs worked.
Show genuine interest by being a good listener. Ask questions.
I've "been out there" for a long time, and run into very few men who know how to listen.
I know this because being a good listener has always gotten me good results. Even though they still don't listen, LOL.
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