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I don't have any kids but if I did, I can tell very easily. My family genes are pretty strong. I'm almost an exact replica of my dad and grandfather. Chances are I may look almost exactly like my great grandfather too if we had pictures of him. All my siblings have a certain look to them that I know that they are my siblings. My nieces and nephews have a certain look to them that I know they belong to my family. So, yeah, I could easily ID if a kid was mine or not. But I don't have kids so I don't have to worry about it.
I have one body part that is the same as my late father's same body part.
When I was growing up, my mother used to joke that 'you know I didn't fool around with the milkman' .
... In my real life scenario,my sons former wife simply lied . For 12 years I sensed this child didn't carry some of our genetic indicators. My son was told only when the blood test came back . To this day my son refuses to acknowledge that this child is sired by another. He just cannot come to terms that this female lied. He absolutely cannot absorb that level of deception. So even though my son is high iq and can be logical, this entire emotional side of denial has impacted us all in the family.
So for those 12 years did the poor kid "sense" that you believed he wasn't really related to you?
As for your son, he RAISED the child from birth (it sounds like) so of COURSE he sees the child as his. I would find it incredibly sad if he DIDN'T. And you are somehow impacted because your son sees the kid he raised as "his"? I hope I am misunderstanding you, as it sounds like you would prefer that he just admit that the kid isn't "his" and -- what, disown him? never see him again? I really am trying to understand your point of view, but if I had a kid who went through that and still saw the kid HE RAISED as "his," I'd be PROUD of him, not worried about how his wife's deception is going to "impact" those outside of his immediate family (him, ex-wife, kid).
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Originally Posted by Nov3
Legally it's not by blood to be deemed the legal parent. Go figure. So all those springer shows mean nothing. Doesn't matter what the dna proves. The states only care that someone pay up for a minor.
There are good reasons why parents who raise a child within the bonds of marriage, believing that child to be theirs, are required to support it if they split. And again, I can't imagine a decent human being saying to a child he/she raised for a decade, "Sorry, just found out I was deceived, bye!" (I DO understand why it might seem unfair to the duped spouse, but presumably a familial bond was formed, and the support is supposed to be in the best interest of the CHILD.)
As for the OP: why do you feel the need to speculate about the parentage of the child of a "friend"? Maybe you should mention it to said "friend" so he can decide if you really ARE, you know, an actual friend.
Monogamy is a construct of civilization and the imposition of religious strictures on us, that was not natural to our ancient ancestors. Frequently, the primordial behavior comes out and it's the reason that at least 25% of all children born, have a biological father other than the male in attendance. We should not be surprised, when children show characteristics that are different from both the legal parents.
Monogamy is a construct of civilization and the imposition of religious strictures on us, that was not natural to our ancient ancestors. Frequently, the primordial behavior comes out and it's the reason that at least 25% of all children born, have a biological father other than the male in attendance. We should not be surprised, when children show characteristics that are different from both the legal parents.
I'm not sure about that 25% number.
Other studies have noted that 90% of newborn babies look clearly like their fathers (some kind of evolutionary survival trait?), although by age of five their features have changed enough that the percentage drops to 50%.
But if 90% of newborns look clearly like their fathers, then the rate of children with biological fathers other than the male in attendance must be less than 25%.
And beyond a couple of primitive-level tribes, which advanced human culture has permitted that level of clear adultery by women anyway?
I have a male friend who is married, and they both have a son, and the son looks nothing him or the wife, race wise. They are white, where as the son looks very African, at least to me.
However, my friend seems to buy that the kid is completely his and I wonder if he is so in love with the kid, that he it never occurred to him how black the kid looks compared to him or his wife?
I wonder if this is normal among parents though, like a syndrome if you will, where as they are in love with their child, and do not realize it's probably not theirs, no matter how unlike you they look?
Well, plenty of parents love theirs kids completely and will stoutly deny that they are anyone else's even if they are holding the adoption papers. If this kid has a different sperm donor, clearly that's all that person is in this scenario anyway.
Do parents have a tendency not be to be able to tell if their child is really theirs or not?
Men know if a child is theirs or not. They may be in denial for many reasons, but they know.
Scholarly studies have been done on this topic, including one in an African village where people were asked to simply smell a shirt worn by the "father" and one worn by the child, and there was a strong correlation. Young children who did not smell like their fathers tended to weigh less than the genetically related children, indicating passive neglect of bastards.
There were four kids in my family. We covered the complete gamut of hair color, eye color, body shape, etc. You could not have found four kids who looked less alike. We all had the same mom and dad.
The gene pool is like a large pot of stew. When it comes time to make a baby, the ladle picks up this carrot, and that chunk of onion, and those beans. The next one doesn't get any beans, but extra carrots and a lot of onions. And so on.
If you go on physical characteristics alone, there would be a lot of parents doubting that they had been given the right baby at the hospital.
My late husband and I had dark curly hair and brown eyes. We got a green-eyed, straight haired blonde. I saw her come out of the chute myself and I know she was my husband's. I always wondered who the heck she looked like, but one day I looked at her feet, which were my husband's feet exactly. The same one crooked toe on each foot and a distinctive bump on top of the foot. The same odd toenails, unfortunately. Now I knew who she took after.
My dad had dark hair and dark eyes. 3 of his children have dark hair and dark eyes.
My mom has dark hair and hazel eyes. 2 of my siblings were blond, with hazel eyes. They took after my maternal grandmother's sister.
My dad is part Cherokee through HIS mother, who was a natural redhead. and thus all of his kids are part Cherokee. 3 of us (especially me) look kind of native. The 2 blonds don't.
And like I said earlier, my oldest kind of looks Asian...and my youngest looks like his dad.
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