Why do people think it is cool to mock someone by saying " Wow you look excited to be here"? (projection, depressed)

[Listener2307]

Originally Posted by sportslover

I hate dealing with people's sarcasm, sometimes.


I hate when you don't look or sound extremely excited and someone says, " Wow you look so excited to be here" or " Don't sound so enthusiastic". How should i respond when someone says these things to me , knowing they are being sarcastic? Comments like these always bother me because I feel like i am being made fun of. I guess people don't consider that someone may be depressed or going through something. People really suck.

I think it's one of those things we just have to put up with. That sort of thing runs through my wife's family.
The best thing to do is to learn from it and make sure you do not incorporate that sort of rude, condescending comment into your own life. Rise above it.


FWIW, I was guilty of that sort of thing, myself, in the distant past. Once I heard someone else do it, I realized how it sounded and stopped.

[testingerick]

Originally Posted by sportslover

I hate dealing with people's sarcasm, sometimes.


I hate when you don't look or sound extremely excited and someone says, " Wow you look so excited to be here" or " Don't sound so enthusiastic". How should i respond when someone says these things to me , knowing they are being sarcastic? Comments like these always bother me because I feel like i am being made fun of. I guess people don't consider that someone may be depressed or going through something. People really suck.

people sometimes can be rude, we all have feelings and not wanting to be somewhere is perfectly valid

[Sand&Salt]

I would just laugh about it.

But, for me, it would be a wake-up call to adjust my RBF, as someone else pointed out. Some of us have that and it can send the wrong message to others.

[Lodestar]

When this sort of thing happens to me it's because I'm in defensive mode. "I'm not okay; You're not okay." When I feel like that nearly anything can feel like a poke in the ribs. Even when it isn't meant that way.

When you can find your "I'm okay; You're okay" setting and get dialed in you can treat those comments like the often idle and thoughtless chit-chat you want them to be.

I like Snazzy's smile and a wink. Leave 'em guessing.

[Parnassia]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

Surely there are at least 100 ways to handle someone saying something like that.


1. Smile, and say I guess I'm kind of tired today
2. Smile and say "Oh, you just caught me in RBF mode."
3. Smile and don't say anything
4. Smile, wink, and walk away
5. Look at the person very seriously, and tell him/her you're there to guard the president


There's 5 things you can do, to get you started.

This! I can't count how many times some co-worker has made comments like that to me (even vice versa). I've never considered it an attempt to mock, hurt, or insult me. In fact, I've usually interpreted it as a kind of awkward commiseration, a remark about the slog of work in general. We all have days when the job gets to us. If I have the presence of mind in the moment I'll fire back with a similar comment. Again, not to insult the other person but to sort of join them in a bit of "we're all in the same miserable boat together" camaraderie. If they really caught me in a vulnerable moment and nothing witty makes the journey from brain to mouth, a woeful twitch of the lip and eye roll is often enough.

OP I suspect you're taking this in the wrong light because you're depressed, unhappy, and feel vulnerable. It is easy to misinterpret others when we're not in a good place ourselves. I'd bet the speaker probably has nothing against you at all. If a particular person has the tendency to make comments like this to you, prepare and rehearse a couple of comebacks and use them. Consider this...a comment like that may just be an awkward attempt to strike up a friendly conversation, even an opener to ask you what's going wrong! The person may have as much trouble breaking the ice as you do.

[jtab4994]

Originally Posted by sportslover

I hate when you don't look or sound extremely excited and someone says, " Wow you look so excited to be here" or " Don't sound so enthusiastic". How should i respond when someone says these things to me , knowing they are being sarcastic?

The universally appropriate response is the equally sarcastic "Dur-hur-hurrrr" followed by a smirk.

[SnazzyB]

OP, I don't know if you've said in other posts or not...but might you be on the autistic spectrum? I ask because I have a son with Asperger's, and some of your plights kind of remind me of stuff he's had to deal with.


I get the sense that perhaps you've been teased and made fun of before, and even if you know, theoretically, that sarcasm isn't always directed AT you, it's hard for you to tell the difference if it is, or if it isn't.


I liken it to swimming in the ocean, but you've been told there are sharks and jellyfish in those waters, so you avoid swimming in the ocean, because you're not sure what sharks and jellyfish look like. You just know they're dangerous.

[sportslover]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

OP, I don't know if you've said in other posts or not...but might you be on the autistic spectrum? I ask because I have a son with Asperger's, and some of your plights kind of remind me of stuff he's had to deal with.


I get the sense that perhaps you've been teased and made fun of before, and even if you know, theorethoufh

tically, that sarcasm isn't always directed AT you, it's hard for you to tell the difference if it is, or if it isn't.


I liken it to swimming in the ocean, but you've been told there are sharks and jellyfish in those waters, so you avoid swimming in the ocean, because you're not sure what sharks and jellyfish look like. You just know they're dangerous.

I don't think I am autistic.Never been tested for it though.

[Ruth4Truth]

OP, you could acknowledge that you're having a bad day, and add, "I wish you wouldn't call attention to it, though. It's kind of rude, and you're making me uncomfortable." Anyone with any decency would be speechless, or might manage to stammer out an apology.

Sheesh. I guess people like that think they're being funny.

[kgordeeva]

I agree that it's rude. So many people lack tact these days and stay stupid s*** without thinking. If the person was truly concerned that you didn't look happy, he could have said something like, "It seems like something is bothering you. Is everything okay?"